I have no motivation, haven't had any in the last 2 years. I thought it was caused by my bipolar depression, but now that has lifted quite a lot I think, and I have had some short periods that felt like "normal", only without any motivation whatsoever. I have minor hallucinations that go away with antipsychotics, delusions of grandeur that aren't bizarre and paranoia that isn't extreme. This seems to have progressed the last few years. I have wondered if this is something else than the bipolar, but I don't want to jump to conclusions, I just want to be prepared. Is there any reason for me to prepare? What should I look out for as symptoms of "something else"?

I am able to do things much more easily if someone is there to help me or just for moral support. I really do want to do things (i.e. read books, finish my mood tracker, take some uni courses, do volunteer work) but I have no motivation to start any task. I can't take care of myself properly because of this (I shower less than once a week, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. ) So basically I'm wondering if this is normal for bipolar people and if anyone with schizoaffective or similar dx could tell me what they think, if I should keep an eye out for progressing symptoms or anything else. I don't worry so this isn't causing me any anxiety, just want to be prepared.

Additional possibly? relevant problems:
- long-term memory (very bad)
- anhedonia (also very bad, even when not feeling depressed)
- clumsiness (a lot)
- forgetfulness (tons)
- lacking emotional response sometimes or slightly wrong other times (i.e. I'll smile a lot now and then when something makes me sad, don't know why, and had to fake emotions when boyfriends sister whom I know well attempted suicide + I fake emotions all the time)
- feel detached from reality
- hypersensitive senses that pain me when the stimulus is too intense (for example someone vacuuming, or a truck driving past me, or daylight on a clear day)
- suicidal thoughts sometimes come out of the blue when not depressed and I can't get rid of them
- getting increasingly socially isolated even when not depressed
- talk to myself
- HUGE problems in dealing with stress, I just can't anymore, and I used to be good at it.
- way too preoccupied with religion and spirituality
- thought blocking
- I have problems with social cues, even though I'm decently good at it, and often come off as cold or even mean.
- Thoughts sometimes seem to come from nowhere, as epiphanies or otherwise.
- Nauseating sexual images and extremely violent images sometimes pop up in my mind when I'm anxious or stressed and with people.

Should I bring it up with my temp pdoc? I mentioned some of it to my T last time and she seemed interested, but now I'm regretting it. I think they are suspicious of me and worry that they think I am a hypochondriac. Mom made sure I'll always worry about that.

[BlackPup]

I would give yourself a break from the pressure to be better. It has taken me 5 years from my last major episode to feel "normal" again. A lot of things are similar to things you have described. I lost a lot of confidence and my day to day functioning, memory and motivation were all affected.
Try to set goals for the short term, and give yourself rewards for your achievements. Gradually you will see your functioning improve.

Good luck.

[faerie_moon_x]

I would say keep track of things that concern you the most. Maybe just on occasion. Write it in a journal or whatever is easiest. Give it time, like BlackPup suggests.

If you're worried about things like schizophrenia or schizoaffective, just remember a lot of the negative and positive symptoms can randomly show up in bipolar as well, just at a lower level. But, considering you've had psychosis, it could just very well be part of recovering from that. What I'm learning is that there are a lot of things that concern me, and sometimes I just need to step back and stay calm. If you're already on an anti-psychotic that's helping, that's really a big important thing right there regardless of diagnosis.

[middlepath]

I can identify most of your list, some of the time. I have never been given a Schizoaffective DX. Just BP and Anxiety NOS (formerly GAD) w/ OCD tendencies (not official). Not sure if that helps.

I have a new question and since there's already a thread by me and I'm paranoid enough already about you all, and real-life people too, I'll ask it here.

I know some people get more physical symptoms and some less. So I'm wondering how normal this is, as I haven't seen it mentioned here yet. When I am hypomanic, I start sweating all over my body (even if I'm freezing). My clothes actually get wet and I have to dry my palms every minute. I start sweating from areas I didn't know that I could sweat from. I start grinding my teeth because I need to use my jaw. I feel bad if I'm not pacing or constantly shaking a limb/doing something with some part of my body. And I stop feeling hunger and thirst until I really really need to eat and drink water. This is worst the first days I think, but since I've only had one hypo episode after I was dx that has lasted longer than a week it's difficult to know.

Thank you all for your replies, they were helpful and I really appreciate it! I'm not going to tell the temporary pdoc about this (but I will probably mention it to my next pdoc).

Man, growing up and getting bipolar simultaneously is HARD!

[mimi2112]

I have had the sweating thing too. At the time that it was going on I'd lost a ton of weight as well. I had all kinds of medical tests and I suggest you do too. Have you had your thyroid tested?
Are you saying you only feel these things during periods of hypomania? Is it happening a lot? Or did it only happen one particular time that you were sweating and pacing, etc.? (when you were hypomanic?)
I am no expert but I really think your Dr. should know some of this stuff. I understand your paranoia. I have felt that too. As someone said, it really doesn't matter the exact dx, but some of your symptoms don't really seem to fit into a typical Bipolar category, IMO, and that is okay not to have a cookie cutter dx. I am not quite bipolar or depressive or sza either. I have experienced all of the above as far as symptoms of a dx. The important thing is to accept and learn to manage your symptoms with the help of a pdoc and therapist.
I hope it gets better for you.

Originally Posted by mimi2112

I have had the sweating thing too. At the time that it was going on I'd lost a ton of weight as well. I had all kinds of medical tests and I suggest you do too. Have you had your thyroid tested?
Are you saying you only feel these things during periods of hypomania? Is it happening a lot? Or did it only happen one particular time that you were sweating and pacing, etc.? (when you were hypomanic?)
I am no expert but I really think your Dr. should know some of this stuff. I understand your paranoia. I have felt that too. As someone said, it really doesn't matter the exact dx, but some of your symptoms don't really seem to fit into a typical Bipolar category, IMO, and that is okay not to have a cookie cutter dx. I am not quite bipolar or depressive or sza either. I have experienced all of the above as far as symptoms of a dx. The important thing is to accept and learn to manage your symptoms with the help of a pdoc and therapist.
I hope it gets better for you.

Yes, it's only during hypomania, and it happens almost every time. Today it is at the worst yet. It might have something to do with my low weight? That was what I was thinking too, that it wasn't quite the cookie cutter bipolar illness but as of yet I see no reason to worry about it being something else and possibly more serious either. Thank you for this reply! Very helpful and you're right.

faerie_moon_x: Oh and no, I'm not recovering from psychosis. I must have said something ambiguous, English isn't my first language. Sorry. Your post was still helpful though! I want to start keeping track of things that bother me, but I'm not sure if I have enough motivation. I'm going to try.

[Happy Camper]

I have some of the same problems and worry about it being one of the schizo illnesses, though I've been assured it isn't.

If it really bothers you I'd get a full evaluation done. My Pdoc recently referred me for a neuro-psych test which is several hours long and will hopefully straighten out my diagnosis. Peace of mind is so important.

[Victoria'smom]

A lot of your motivation issues my husband has. We have a list of what needs to be done before leaving the bathroom in the morning. All the other things you have mentioned one out of the three of us have. Don't stress but mention it to your reg. pdoc.

[sheltielover2013]

What is the DSM IV criteria for schizoaffective disorder? Anyone know? My father, sister, and grandmother have paranoid schizophrenia. I have bipolar 1 disorder with psychotic features. I'm not familiar with schizoaffective disorder.

[Victoria'smom]

Schizoaffective includes psycosis outside mood episodes. I honestly think it's the same as bipolar 1 disorder with psychotic features.

[Anneinside]

Schizoaffective disorder is when you have schizophrenia and bipolar. The main indicator is having delusions and/or hallucinations when you are not manic or depressed.

[sheltielover2013]

My psychotic episodes are directly related to my mood swings. I hallucinate, become delusional and have severe paranoia both when I'm depressed and manic but not when I'm stable. My family members who are schizophrenic have psychotic symptoms independent of any type of mood.

Originally Posted by sheltielover2013

My psychotic episodes are directly related to my mood swings. I hallucinate, become delusional and have severe paranoia both when I'm depressed and manic but not when I'm stable. My family members who are schizophrenic have psychotic symptoms independent of any type of mood.

My minor hallucinations seem to come whenever they want, but I am mostly paranoid in episodes.

[moremi]

I feel everything you just posted. i also just found out from the doctors that they think i may have been misdiqgnosed with bipolar. in 2009 they found a small tumor in my pituitary gland and sent me to a neurologist and he has been monitoring it for growth and it hasnt grown which is good. what they failed to do was send me to an endocronoligist or even test hormone levels. so in 2010 i was diagnosed bipolar and have been struggling with moods and meds since. i began having a lot of weifht gain 60 pounds since 2009 and having hot flashes and night sweats terrible memory both short and long term not feeling my emotions no motivation and horrible social anxiety. i also struggle w hygeine and cleanong my house. my gp doc decided to do a hormone test last week and my prolactin levels were high so finally i am being sent to endo. this pituitary tumor causes things such as mania depression anhondea because when prolactin levels go up your dopamine levels drop ebabling you to feel any pleasure or happines and creating social anxiety and lack of motivation.

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Originally Posted by moremi

I feel everything you just posted. i also just found out from the doctors that they think i may have been misdiqgnosed with bipolar. in 2009 they found a small tumor in my pituitary gland and sent me to a neurologist and he has been monitoring it for growth and it hasnt grown which is good. what they failed to do was send me to an endocronoligist or even test hormone levels. so in 2010 i was diagnosed bipolar and have been struggling with moods and meds since. i began having a lot of weifht gain 60 pounds since 2009 and having hot flashes and night sweats terrible memory both short and long term not feeling my emotions no motivation and horrible social anxiety. i also struggle w hygeine and cleanong my house. my gp doc decided to do a hormone test last week and my prolactin levels were high so finally i am being sent to endo. this pituitary tumor causes things such as mania depression anhondea because when prolactin levels go up your dopamine levels drop ebabling you to feel any pleasure or happines and creating social anxiety and lack of motivation.

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Wow, you just made me a little hopeful! Not sure if this is the illness or the sane part of me. I won't let it get to my head, but I'll definitely demand a hormone test! AFAIK I haven't had one yet.
Thanks for this!

I have bipolar I with psychotic features. My prior therapist thought I had some symptoms of schizoaffective. Discussed it with my pdoc and he stands by the bipolar diagnosis - but said even if I were schizoaffective - the meds I am on treat schizoaffective symptoms. My meds are listed below. Hope that helps. Take care.

[mimi2112]

moremi: Thank you so much for sharing. Your condition is a perfect example of how a disease like a pituitary tumor or endocrine disorder can manifest and be misdiagnosed as a psychiatric condition... I have been trying to get that message across to people for a long time. There are so many medical conditions that mimic MI.

I am so glad that you are getting the right medical help now, and I am so grateful that you have shared your story.

[Happy Camper]

I'm definitely going to demand more physical tests be done. My current pdoc already suspects I'm misdiagnosed bipolar anyways.

How did they find the tumor? Was it an MRI?

[moremi]

Yes it was an mri. I was having terrible headaches and they found it.

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[sprik]

my t son is bipolar and he had extreme halluciations. I have some of those problems myself, I would get check, never know if something else is going on, but your meds may be off, and u may just be focusing on too many things at one time, some of the things you listed u may just have to deal with