Update to hating my life.

Follow up from trigger...


I let my husband read my last post trigger.... It saddened him but we made a plan and He took me on a date.

Miguel got his Ct scan yesterday. It turns out this time it's a huge thyroglossal duct cyst. His surgery is on July 19th.

Given that we now have a date we wont be moving until end of AUG. I also have started a file with the local community mental health center there. However they are not accepting new patients but at least we have a file. We can go to the health clinic for meds until we get in if we need to. Also our current pdocs are willing to prescribe as long as we need.

I'm back to eating "normal" for me, thank god. We were placed on several waiting lists for apartments so that will be 2-4 months.

I didn't tell T about my tactical hallucinations but she asked about my mood a good 4x at least. I'm scheduled for 10 days for my next 2 appointments. So either T's worried to about the move or worried about my mood. T also made sure my appointment for pdoc is between my next appointment with her. T said she'll deal with making sure I keep my dog and anyway else she can do to help ease the move. T expected me to be depressed as I was randomly in tears at my husband's T and his T "prepared" mine for me being a mess depression wise.

This weekend packing. Next week I plan to sign up for school, go to Miguel's re-evaluation, see pdoc, more apartment applications, packing and calls. Sleep is in there somewhere maybe

Poor Miguel! I hope it is a gentle, successful surgery for him. MM, you are doing very well in handling this move. I know you have been overwhelmed at times, but you are way stronger than many of us would be. I am glad that there will be no break in your meds. At least you should be able to hold on until you are able to receive assistance. Thank you for updating us about Miguel. He has a lot on his plate right now.

Bluemountains

you sound much more calm and prepared. Sending you lots of hugs and support.

Trigger: small SUI statement

So, no move. I've sleep a good 20 hrs and feel drained, numb, and unable to think. We will continue to drive the 7 hrs. round trip 2x a month. Gist of the convo. my husband woke me up in the middle of the night, I think.

Husband: "I can't do this (move) without your confidence, I have to many concerns."

Me:"Either way anything we do it ends our relationship. I'm either selfish and it's my fault if anything happens staying here or we're at each others throats there. Either way I f*** everything up."

Husband: "Your not selfish"

Me: " If I make us stay I am, I'm out voted 2-1"

H: "Cute you know he (Miguel) doesn't count and I'm saying no because I'm to worried"

me: "you woke me up, now I'm hungry, are you sure we're staying?"

H: "yes."

Me: "Good, because I was only going if it was in a wooden box." The honestly I have when half asleep. Ate, went back to bed.
______

This causes a whole new set of issues including AP I ask for but MH and housing isn't up in the air. We are still moving to Tampa bay in a year but we have time to prepare.

That sounds like a relief.... Hope everything gets sorted out. I hate moving but we will need to move 4 times in the next 3 years.

Try not to feel bad about it. It sounds like the best solution to the situation.

Sounds like a good coversation and outcome. I lived in Tampa bay area for 32 years. Lots of help available

You are handling so much so well, even if you can't see it that way