[Moreta]

My husband says he's frustrated with me. The other day I told him I felt pretty good and that things seem to be getting back to normal, and he said he was pessimistic about it b/c every time I'm starting to feel normal, something happens after a while and I end up in the hospital. I'm really trying this time. My meds are straight and I'm seeing a therapist. I'm trying to get my pain under control and starting to exercise more. I tried to get him to come walking with me last night, but he wouldn't come b/c I don't walk far enough or fast enough. He's really being an *** and I don't know what to do. Most of the time we're ok, but then something will happen and we'll have a screaming match. I don't even remember what it was about the next day, b/c my short term memory is shot. We have a lot of good times, but his comments get to me. Apparently, I can't tell him I'm sad/in pain anymore, because that makes him want to rage on me....idk why. I just want someone to validate my feelings, and I'm not getting it from him. Maybe I should take him to counseling with me. I doubt he would go. But I'm not sure how to fix this.

[gayleggg]

It must be hard to live with someone with so little compassion. You could suggest he go to counseling with you but I agree he probably wouldn't go. Sounds like he would just like to stick his head in the sand and pretend nothing is wrong. I'm not sure I have any suggestions for you. Just wanted to let you know you don't deserve this kind of treatment. Glad you are feeling better. Take care of yourself.
Gayle

[kaliope]

sounds like he could really benefit from counseling to learn how to cope with living with somebody with a mood disorder as he is not being able to adjust to your normal fluctuations or be supportive of you in the way you need from those close to you. you would do better if you had that support.

[Wham6429]

I had a similar situation with my bf. The things I've done is utilize this support group as they are awesome to vent to, that way your husband doesn't always bare the brunt of your venting. The other thing I do is if there is something I feel that i need to share with him I do But I also remind him when he starts his unsupportive chatter that it's an illness, Just like cancer is an illness. How it helps some.

[ultramar]

I really don't know your personal situation, so can't comment on that, but generally speaking I think it's good practice to keep in mind that as much as we suffer, it probably is hard at times to be on the other side of us as well. In this sense, our loved ones can sometimes use some validation (in what ways they are hurt by our illness) and compassion as well. It goes both ways, and our significant others may have their own issues for which they need support as well. This is, of course, easier to be aware of when things are going relatively well, and not when in the grips of some sort of episode, but something to keep in mind, nonetheless.

[faerie_moon_x]

Unfortunately I feel this is a common issue. I don't have any advice but i hope things get better.

[lawrenman]

From the sounds of it your mind is telling you that your body needs attention. I don't know how old you are but that is probably a factor. I would strongly recommend strength exercise. Walking or minor aroebic exercise will not help much. If you work on building your strength this will assist your metabolism. I'm not sure what exercise will work best for you, but I would stick with core muscles overall.

I think if you become more in tune with fixing/coping with your body issues you will have a better outlook on your life and relationship with your hubby might get better...

[Confusedinomicon]

I don't involve my significant other in all my psych issues unless it effects my ability to function. He's actually asked me to not bombard him with my negative feelings because he becomes stressed/depressed himself. He told me that all he does is worry and will become fearful of talking to me. That's why I utilize my psych and talk to my dad who experiences similar mental health issues.

Thinking of you. I've been in your shoes and we tried marriage counseling. He wouldn't own up to any of his issues...he felt everything was my fault because of my bipolar and other mental issues. It is important that our partners accept us for who we are - you are not your illness. I ultimately divorced after being married many years. It's been a big life transition but it's great to no longer be judged or be "conditionally loved." Wishing you the best. Do therapy for you regardless of whether he will try couples counseling. Take care.