[comicgeek007]

Maybe I'm just back in denial, but I've been doing really well for the past month and I'm wondering if maybe I had just been over-sensitive, melodramatic , or something like that and not bipolar. Pretty much as soon as I started back on my meds I stopped taking them again. I honestly don't notice a mood difference on vs off now. So it's like, why would I take in chemicals that don't appear to be doing anything? Bipolar's supposed to be hard to diagnose, right? Maybe I over exaggerated. Maybe the doctors were searching for something that wasn't there. Maybe I thought I wanted them to. Who even knows. All I know is I'm feeling pretty good.

[Speed3]

I know over the years I have doubted my diagnosis. It usually happens when I am stable or hypomanic. But I am much older then you.

I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my early 40's and I am 57 now.
I had a long depressive phase as a teen, but then was free of symptoms until my late 30's. It wasn't until I had a clear cut Manic episode that I received the diagnosis.

I think if you have had a manic episode than you most certainly have bipolar. But over the last couple of years I have read that bipolar is being over diagnosed. I have seen it as an inpatient, it seems everyone gets a bipolar diagnosis. I always wonder how these doctors can diagnosis it when they have only seen the person for 5 days.

I know when you are feeling good it seems weird taking these major psychotropic meds and all their side effects. But if you do have Bipolar sometimes stopping your meds can be disastrous.

On the other hand there are a lot of people on here that control their disorder without prescription meds.

[antimonos]

I too had a diagnosis of bipolar and have come to doubt it. I was diagnosed in 1999 and I think that was because of some depression and some hypomania. Since changing my GP, I have never once brought up the diagnosis and my GP thinks that its just low mood. I kind of agree with him.

I think bipolar is overdiagnosed in a lot of cases. I have a friend who was diagnosed as having bipolar and even spent time on admission only to find out that she had Grave's Disease.

Bipolar disorder is cyclical. I've gone several months at a time quite stable and then went back into an episode. Currently I have been stable since late April. You generally don't stay symptomatic 100% of the time.

[Skittles56]

I didn't start seriously questioning my diagnosis until I started following this forum. My doctor diagnosed me in one meeting. He did the DSM IV interview with me and told me there were some number of points that he needed for a diagnosis and that I had given him 3 more than were necessary. Then we discussed medication options.

That being said, the diagnosis clearly fits my behavior as a child and over the last ten years. The medication has also leveled me out.

[wildflowerchild25]

Well i clearly remember one hypomanic episode you had where you didn't sleep for 36 hours because you felt you didn't need it... that was back when i first started coming to the forums. so it's possible you do have it.

that being said, if you feel good without meds, then i wouldn't even worry about it right now. bipolar is just a label and that label does not define who you are. so if you feel good now, i would concentrate on that, and not worry about whether you fit the diagnosis or not. just watch for signs of hypomania such as not sleeping for long periods of time, because that could be dangerous. good luck to you! I hope school has started well for you.

(i also think bipolar is the new borderline and it is way overdiagnosed, but that's my own personal opinion).

[~Christina]

Comic .. dont rock the boat right now... your just now back in school if you still feel this way in 6 months try the med free approarch then , not now.

[Victoria'smom]

Right now I think you should stay on meds and continue with therapy. Talk to your T about what she sees in you that helped Pdoc dx you. I constantly have to talk to my T about meds and my Dx. Have you had a complete psych. evaluation? They take a good 4+ hours. If not please ask you therapist for a referral for evaluation.

[Confusedinomicon]

I agree with Christina. I doubt my diagnosis all the time to be honest. I've talked to my doctor and he finally told me its a mood disorder coupled with anxiety. You may not have bipolar but it doesn't mean you should stop seeing your doctor or discontinue medication. Its better to do what Christina says. Wait until midterms to see if you're experiencing a stress related disorder if anything. It can also help you know if its cyclical.

I've had these thoughts too. I read back over my journals of the bad times, and talk to my support network. They always remind me that I need to stay on my meds, even if I feel this way.

[A Red Panda]

I consistently doubt the bipolar. I NEVER doubt the depressions, but I doubt my hypomanias all the time as they're quite mild in the grand scheme of things.

But I still follow the same plan I set for myself during the times when I do fully believe it - which has traditionally been behaviour management.

But a month of baseline is nothing comicgeek It's something to enjoy, but you need to be aware and ready for when the sh** hits the fan in one direction or another.

And sure, maybe you AREN'T bipolar - prove it to yourself over the course of a few years. One month is definitely not long enough to really have cause for dismissing it.

[comicgeek007]

part of the problem with the meds is I've yet to find a schedule this semester that's conducive to consistently taking meds, and I'm really uncomfortable taking my meds in front of my roommate. That may seem like a small thing but on the first night we were both here, she made a big deal about taking otc vitamins and here I am with a drawer full of psychotropic meds. It's started to make me feel inferior for having to take them. That, and I'm doubting my diagnosis anyway, so.... I'm still keeping regular t appointments though.

[Phoenix_1]

I doubted my bipolar for 6 years. I quit taking lithium almost 2 years ago because I felt it didn't help and I hated the weight gain. Three different pdocs told me I had bp2 before I started to search inside myself for the memories and the family history that made me realize that the pdocs were right. Now I believe my bp2 started when I was 15 and I'm 59 now - that's a long time to wait to get help. It's a tough diagnosis to swallow. Just watch your moods and sleep patterns, see your pdoc, get a good therapist, and read some books about bp. You can get apps on your smart phone to track your moods and keep a diary. I use T2 Mood Tracker. Your roommate will just think you're playing a game or something on your phone, or texting a friend. You may want to put a fake book jacket on those books to hide them from your roommate - try physics or calculus book jackets - that's a good disguise. Is there a bathroom somewhere that you could go to in order to take your meds so you don't have to do it in front of your roommate? Is there some kind of box or something you could put your meds in to disguise that you're taking them to the washroom - a case with toothpaste and your toothbrush etc. in it? It's ok to be private about this if you don't feel like sharing with your roommate. I'm from Canada but my friend in Missouri tells me that they have a saying there - if something is none of your business then it's "nonya". This may be a nonya for your roommate.

[avlady]

Sometimes we are stable and think we don't need the meds BECAUSE we are stable and think we don't need the meds anymore, but we are stable and that is what's keeping us feeling ok.

[A Red Panda]

Comic: If you're worried about your roommate seeing them.. why not buy a few little containers that you can put a day's worth of pills in. Get 7. I'm not talking about the pillboxes since they're obvious. Just some little container for holding who knows what. Hell, get a change purse and put a plastic bagging inside as a liner. When she isn't in the room (what's her shower schedule like? Is it consistent? If so, do it then!) refill the container.

Then just keep that in your bag, and take them in the morning when you go to brush your teeth. I take mine in the morning because I am utter crap at remembering things later, and my morning routine is my most consistent.

[Otter63]

I have bipolar I and my episodes are such that I can't doubt my diagnosis.

I only take two meds, lithium and klonopin. I take both doses of lithium at night (per pdoc) You might check with your pdoc and see if you can take fewer meds. It's my opinion that the shrinks get carried away and want everyone taking too many different meds. Just my two cents.

[Victoria'smom]

I always took my meds in the bathroom stall and currently my son does too. Can you switch your med schedule to work around your class schedule.

[~Christina]

^^^ Yes this ,... MM advice solves this hiccup of a problem.

[comicgeek007]

okay, I'll do that

[Skittles56]

Originally Posted by avlady

Sometimes we are stable and think we don't need the meds BECAUSE we are stable and think we don't need the meds anymore, but we are stable and that is what's keeping us feeling ok.

That is AWESOME! It makes no sense at all, yet it describes the situation perfectly.

[deelooted]

I have also had a difficult time accepting my illnesses... so much that I have stopped taking my meds twice in the last three months. I wish I had not, I have only been on my current meds for about one month and feel so much better.

Bless everyone on this site, as they have given me (and you) some awesome advice. The trick is to remember that the stable and good feeling most likely comes from the meds .

[jamox01]

Originally Posted by comicgeek007

Maybe I'm just back in denial, but I've been doing really well for the past month and I'm wondering if maybe I had just been over-sensitive, melodramatic , or something like that and not bipolar. Pretty much as soon as I started back on my meds I stopped taking them again. I honestly don't notice a mood difference on vs off now. So it's like, why would I take in chemicals that don't appear to be doing anything? Bipolar's supposed to be hard to diagnose, right? Maybe I over exaggerated. Maybe the doctors were searching for something that wasn't there. Maybe I thought I wanted them to. Who even knows. All I know is I'm feeling pretty good.

I have vowed to stick with my treatment plan whatever it may be. I went off my meds before and ws feeling great. For a few months I was normal and there was no mood difference at all. However, a period of manic behavior hit me real quick and I was in that phase for over a year before crashing into a depressive phase. I hate taking the medications and I hate the side effects but I know I'm better off taking the stuff. I urge you to talk with your doctor and let him or her know how you feel. Good Luck!

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by avlady

Sometimes we are stable and think we don't need the meds BECAUSE we are stable and think we don't need the meds anymore, but we are stable and that is what's keeping us feeling ok.

Well, Princess Stupidhead here decided to cut her Geodon dose in half a few days ago because her pdoc said that when she got really stable she could try tapering down a bit.

Six weeks of stability + one overconfident bipolar - 40 mg Geodon = a dysphoric train wreck. 'Nuff said.

[A Red Panda]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

Well, Princess Stupidhead here decided to cut her Geodon dose in half a few days ago because her pdoc said that when she got really stable she could try tapering down a bit.

Six weeks of stability + one overconfident bipolar - 40 mg Geodon = a dysphoric train wreck. 'Nuff said.

oh Nurse I am sorry to hear that....

but can I just say that the way you worded it made me crack a smile? I needed it. I think it was the Princess Stupidhead... and the + one overconfident bipolar...

Have we met anyone who is bipolar and doesn't have those moments of overconfidence?? haha.