[medicalfox]

I try my best to be happy and to stay positive, but it's so hard when you lack so many things. Technically I am considered homeless since the landlord doesn't know I live here and because where I live is not suited for living in. I live in an unfinished basement with a decent bathroom. There are no windows where I live so the air quality is very bad and there is so much dust build up no matter how hard I clean. My significant other said the dust build up is from the exposed fiberglass above us. We don't have a real ceiling, it's just the floor of the upstairs and fiberglass between each board. The carpet is not maintained and had cat fecal mater on it and it's too disgusting to clean. There is no heat and cooling since it is an unfinished basement and in the winter it's colder than outside and when it's humid the pipes above us drip water. We live in a tiny room since another person takes up 80% of the basement and he's a hoarder with cats that he never cleans after. Our bedroom is small and it is our living room, our bedroom, and where we eat. We are only able to have a mini fridge and because of our room the food inside goes bad quickly and we can't have bread since it molds in a couple of days. The bathroom is the only sink we have and it's where we keep our dishes. We don't have a stove so we can't cook where we live, we can only use a microwave. We don't have a pantry, we have plastic bins that contain our food. We don't have a dresser so we keep our clothes under our bed, on top of our bed, and on his computer chair. Our bed has a broken frame which is something we will eventually fix, it's a futon bed since we can't have a nice bed down here.

I wish we could have fresh food daily and I could cook so we could have healthy meals. I wish we could have heat so we wouldn't freeze in the winter and we had normal temperatures. I wish we had a living room so I wouldn't have to sit on the floor while my significant other sleeps at night. I wish we had windows so we could have fresh air and it wouldn't be stuffy.

I can't live with my parents because they are abusive and hurt me. I can't live with them again, I don't want to be harmed ever again. The last place I lived was at another family members house, but I went manic several times and they had me leave. Some of my family members won't talk to me anymore because of it. My significant other took me in and let me live here so at least I would have a safe home. He has a wonderful home at his mother's, but he lives here with me so I have a home. I try to keep in mind how lucky I am to have a safe home, but I wish I had the basic stables in life. I feel so greedy for wanting these things, but I can only handle so much. I get severely manic about where I live and I try so hard to be grateful, it's just so damn hard. I can't apply for anything since I have a job, but I don't make enough for a home. I feel like I'm being irrational right now, but I just want what everyone else has. I want food, warmth, and security.

I don't expect an answer to my problems, I just needed to vent so I wouldn't freak out.

[redbandit]

Is there any way you think you could live with your SO at his mom's? You aren't being greedy, you are being perfectly rational. How long have you been living there?

You've made me realise how incredibly lucky I am. I wont offer any advice but I hope you can find a way out of your situation.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm so sorry your stuck.

[medicalfox]

Originally Posted by redbandit

Is there any way you think you could live with your SO at his mom's? You aren't being greedy, you are being perfectly rational. How long have you been living there?

His family doesn't know any of the disorders I have and if they knew or witness them, it could be devastating. I'm not sure how they would react and I don't want them to dislike me. I have been living here for over a year and it makes me manic every so often, generally in the winter when it's freezing here. Right now I'm fine, sad, but fine. I'm sad about not having anything to eat so I had to have cereal again. I have money for food, but I don't have anywhere to put it or anywhere to make it.

[Yoda]

That is awful. I once rented a roach infested $10/week sleeping room with no kitchen privileges. I had no refrigerator and had to heat up cans of tuna in my popcorn popper. But at least I had heat and a bathroom.

I do hope your living situation changes soon.

[medicalfox]

The thing I want/need the most is fresh food. I miss eating vegetables and good food so much, if I had a table of some sort I could at least prepare some things. I'm in college right now doing prereqs and I'm hoping I get into the medical program I'm interested in this year. Once I'm in that profession, I will make enough money to have a home with a nice big fridge with plenty of food in it

[BlueInanna]

Oh Hun that sucks . I hope you can find somewhere better to live. I used to be a squatter in a crazy Seattle apartment complex. Ex husband & I had to climb in through 2nd story window with our dogs! Then I found out I was pregnant. 20 yrs ago. I went days without eating, was horrible. And I thought I was a good girl, didn't know everyone in there was on heroin until DEA came knocking. Thank god they didn't break door down & I was able to sneak out. What a nightmare. Those were the days. I moved back south stayed with parents, worked. There's more much more. But hard times. You'll get thru, finish school and create a future with healthy organic foods, you can get there. So sorry for your hard times now. I wish you & SO the best of everything.

[lil_better_everyday]

I'm sorry your living situation sucks so bad!

I'm currently living with my parents. I am very conflicted about it. I feel very fortunate to have parents who will put up with my **** (well most of it, if I were to start drinking again I might be out on my *** (deservedly so)) while I look for adequate work. At the same time, I mostly feel like a total loser bum, and they shouldn't have to deal with their adult sons problems.

Anyway, I hope things get better for you! Hard and perseverance can work wonders. I'm working up the motivation for both.

Sent from my GT-P3113 using Tapatalk 4

[Phoenix_1]

I'm sorry you have to live in such an awful place.

Is there government housing where you live, or some kind of welfare program? When I left my abusive husband I had $12.18 to my name. I went to a women's shelter and they set me up with welfare and social housing. I realize that I was incredibly lucky to get in and have my needs taken care of.

Hugs to you medicalfox.

[skelaki]

I'm so sorry for your situation and glad you're in college so things will get better. But meantime, there must be help out there for you. Do you at least get food stamps?

And give your boyfriend's parents a chance to know you. They may be more understanding than you expect. After all, they raised him and he's turned out to be a pretty amazing person.

[BlackPup]

hope you can find somewhere better to live.

[medicalfox]

Originally Posted by skelaki

I'm so sorry for your situation and glad you're in college so things will get better. But meantime, there must be help out there for you. Do you at least get food stamps?

And give your boyfriend's parents a chance to know you. They may be more understanding than you expect. After all, they raised him and he's turned out to be a pretty amazing person.

Even if I got food stamps I would have no where to keep the food. I have money for food, but I don't have a normal size fridge and bread products mold really fast in our room. I really wish they knew more about me and that could be a possibility, my significant other is very hush hush about the situation since they wouldn't expect it at all. They didn't even expect my parents to be abusive/neglectful since I came out alright since I moved out at age 15.

[medicalfox]

The thing that bothers me the most is how it affects my significant other. I had a rough life so this is probably the best place I have lived so far. He came from a very nice home that had everything that a normal home has. He lives here so I don't go homeless, but it bothers him a lot. He gets upset how I can't make meals and how we can't have fresh food along with other things. He has a college degree, but the place that he works at is paying him under the normal wage for his profession. He's looking for a better job which will pay quiet nicely which could get us a better home. I feel bad because this is a trigger for my mania and he's the one that has to deal with it. If it didn't get so cold here in the winter I probably wouldn't go very manic in the winter. I feel bad since it's my fault, but this isn't a terrible home all the time. I'm thankful I at least have a home, I just want food though. We talked about getting a bigger fridge, but we have no room for one :/

[99 FAIRIES]

I lived in a basement like that before. I couldn't handle the insulation. So i went to the thrift store and bought some cheap sheets, then borrowed a stapple gun and made my own ceiling to protect myself from all that nasty dust. I feel your pain. Hope your situation changes soon.

[A Red Panda]

Is there any financial support at your college where you could be able to live on campus?

(I'm guessing no).

If you can't get a table - could you go to a dollar store and get either a tv tray, or a placemat? It wouldn't be as nice as a table, but it'd be something clean to put on the floor that you could cut things on and use as a table-like surface... if you could go and get fresh fruit and veg every other day or so anyway.

[medicalfox]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

Is there any financial support at your college where you could be able to live on campus?

(I'm guessing no).

If you can't get a table - could you go to a dollar store and get either a tv tray, or a placemat? It wouldn't be as nice as a table, but it'd be something clean to put on the floor that you could cut things on and use as a table-like surface... if you could go and get fresh fruit and veg every other day or so anyway.

There are scholarships and I'm applying to all of them this year. I'm pretty sure I can get a couple since I'm a better student now.

That's a great idea! I didn't even thing of that and I'm going to buy one now I generally buy fruit and veggies that don't need to be in the fridge since we can store them in the plastic bins. We can't have salads everyday though which is upsetting for my significant other. We rely on fresh veggies I picked up or canned ones. I'm really excited about that try idea though, we can actually prepare food now!

[Speed3]

That is awful. You say you go to college, is there any way you could get some student loans or some kind of assistance like that ? There must be someone at the college you could talk to about financial assistance.

[Speed3]

I just did an Internet search I put in

'Getting money for living expenses while in college'

A wealth of information came up. I read each state has a Higher Education Department, it says you can contact them. It also mentioned going to the Financial Aid office at your school. You can use government school loans for living expenses. You can pay them back after you are done school and have a good job. I also know from my friend who has 5 kids, 3 are in college. She is a single mom, they all got some kind of free assistance to help with college. There is a lot of money out there to help you while you are in college, you just have to know how to find it.

I think the financial aid office would be a good start. You don't have to live that way.

Let me know how it goes

Originally Posted by medicalfox

I try my best to be happy and to stay positive, but it's so hard when you lack so many things. Technically I am considered homeless since the landlord doesn't know I live here and because where I live is not suited for living in. I live in an unfinished basement with a decent bathroom. There are no windows where I live so the air quality is very bad and there is so much dust build up no matter how hard I clean.
I can't apply for anything since I have a job, but I don't make enough for a home... I just needed to vent so I wouldn't freak out.

Vent away!!! We are currently (like, I should be boxing stuff up right now ) in the process of moving out of a landlord-doesn't-know-not-legally-habitable-basement space situation (though not as rough as yours -- serious to you!!!). Into a little apartment that the landlord is nervous about how we will be able to swing it, but we're just so glad he's giving us the chance to try(!) (AND he cut us a major break on an issue that has stood like a fortress in our way from getting any place.) I SO VERY MUCH hear you on the caught between the cracks thing -- sometimes I swear I live there! You are right -- it is very frustrating!! (Understatement!)

Can't say I have much in the way of advice (though you aren't seeking it, still...), but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. (Because it can feel that way, and pretty isolating to boot, huh? Can't talk about so much for fear of getting people in trouble and losing what you have, right? ) Hoping for good things to you, in whatever form they come.

(And thanks, Speed. BF was just tonight despairing of ever being able to get back to school given our situation -- your post was encouraging and timely so. Thanks!)

[transientsoul]

Sorry to hear about your circumstances. Personally, I think your SO should speak to his mom/parents and then you should speak with them. Who cares if they know your condition? If they say no, they say no... but aren't you worth at least trying? Wouldn't it be better than where you're at now? And check into women's shelters please. Anything would be better than breathing in fiberglass dust - that could lead to serious problems later and then you'll be wishing you'd checked into other options. Know that you are worth more. You are.

[medicalfox]

Originally Posted by Speed3

That is awful. You say you go to college, is there any way you could get some student loans or some kind of assistance like that ? There must be someone at the college you could talk to about financial assistance.

I tried to do that, but since I'm under the age of 24 I'm considered a "dependent". Technically my parents are suppose to be helping me so I get very little assistance, mainly because my parents make 100K+ yearly. They are abusive and dislike me so they don't support me at all and aren't willing to help me. I have to wait several more years until I'm 24 so I can apply to them and make life easier. I'm hoping being diagnosed schizoaffective will make them have sympathy for me and help me a little bit money wise. I know that sounds so greedy, but winter is coming up and we need new blankets and space heaters for the up coming freezing season.

Thank you for your response though, I truly appreciate it

[Speed3]

Originally Posted by medicalfox

I tried to do that, but since I'm under the age of 24 I'm considered a "dependent". Technically my parents are suppose to be helping me so I get very little assistance, mainly because my parents make 100K+ yearly. They are abusive and dislike me so they don't support me at all and aren't willing to help me. I have to wait several more years until I'm 24 so I can apply to them and make life easier. I'm hoping being diagnosed schizoaffective will make them have sympathy for me and help me a little bit money wise. I know that sounds so greedy, but winter is coming up and we need new blankets and space heaters for the up coming freezing season.

Thank you for your response though, I truly appreciate it

Can you emancipate yourself from them ?? You can still get student loans while you are under your parents. My son did when he was 20 and my husband makes 6 figures.

[medicalfox]

Originally Posted by Speed3

Can you emancipate yourself from them ?? You can still get student loans while you are under your parents. My son did when he was 20 and my husband makes 6 figures.

No I'm older than 18, I've asked about it years ago
I have a student loan, but it doesn't help with living expenses. I'm applying to more scholarships this year in hopes that some can help with living expenses.

[medicalfox]

Originally Posted by transientsoul

Sorry to hear about your circumstances. Personally, I think your SO should speak to his mom/parents and then you should speak with them. Who cares if they know your condition? If they say no, they say no... but aren't you worth at least trying? Wouldn't it be better than where you're at now? And check into women's shelters please. Anything would be better than breathing in fiberglass dust - that could lead to serious problems later and then you'll be wishing you'd checked into other options. Know that you are worth more. You are.

My family members know my condition and many won't talk to me. My grandma ignores my calls now and she didn't send me a birthday card this year; I didn't even do anything wrong to her or anybody!

I can't risk his family not liking me since they are the only family I have. If I lose them I have no idea what I would do. I didn't think about fiberglass dust, if I made a makeshift ceiling would that help?