I fail :( ((Warning - Trigger! Self-destructive action))

I have seriously been feeling like crap lately. Today I burst into tears when I finally decided to sit down and try to shave my legs. And then when I was in the shower I yelled AT the shower because the water kept going from hot to cold. That is the riduculous sort of stupid mood I'm in.

Also had a headache. And discovered that I had in the past bought a bottle of Advil liqi-gels. Took 6 to get rid of the headache.

Took another 6 because it wasn't going away.

So I've got 12 of those in my system. Clued in that that was rather stupid, but I just want things to stop

So I am posting it here to shame myself into making sure I don't take anymore. Because I feel like a P.O.S failure right now... Blah.

None of those are things that the rest of us haven't done. No need to feel guilty or ashamed. It goes with the territory.

I'm pretty sure that 12 Advils are not going to hurt you, but you're right, you shouldn't take any more.

Hang in there.

I know that it won't hurt me... it's not the first time I've taken too many pills.

I'm just disappointed that I failed - I haven't taken too many in a really, really, long time.

Please don't beat yourself up. You made a mistake and I don't think that many advil will do more than give you a stomach ache, you could call poison control to ask, you don't have to tell you did it. And really, what' s so bad about yelling at the shower? It was frustrating. Just so you know I enjoy reading your posts. Be good to yourself, what would you say to a friend if they felt like this? Treat yourself as kindly. You deserve it.

No reason to beat yourself up L. Shyt happens, and we can't always handle said shyt with finess. Sometimes we stumble and fall, but that's ok, because we get back up again. I'm really sorry you've been feeling lousey, I hope you know you can PM of FB me anytime if you wanna talk one on one

You didn't fail

Your frustrated, not a failure

You haven't done anything that average person never done.

yelling at appliances? How else you gotta let em know you are not liking the way they act?

I`m always shouting at appliances,even cutlery, sponges, any thing that doesn`t behave itself, like things are always "jumping" onto the floor, I know it`s gravity but it`s so annoying, grrr

Mostly it's just that the depression I'm in keeps getting worse.... I'm not someone who typically yells at the water. I'm just overwhelmed with every single little thing right now. And can't seem to get it to get the hell away from me.

destroy some stuff that can be destroyed? excercise hard? yell?

I'm just one of those people who complains when I need to I guess, when I don't feel good, I tell...my husband, my pdoc and my therapist, hell the lady at the front desk and I tell them I will sit in the lobby all day so they can work me in the schedule...usually that gets me an appt within a day or so, mostly because I do it so seldom. Its serious when I do it. I just don't take feeling crap, I know I don't have to.

Getting so overwhelmed/frustrated that you yell at inanimate objects? Been there done that. It's normal.

I used to take way too many pills myself. I have gotten to the point where I don't need to take a lot anymore. Just don't take anymore and don't beat yourself up over it. You might want to start cutting back on the number of pain relievers you take initially. Just take one or two instead of six. It will suck at first because your pain won't go away at first. But eventually your tolerance will lower and you won't have to take high amounts for relief. Just a suggestion. It's how I cut down. Taking too many pills is not good for your liver.

Red Panda, cancel any appointments you can. Brew a cup of tea. Sit quietly reading something that always settles you.

B R E A T H E.

Tell the Crap feeling, you've had enough of it for a while and that you're quietly taking back the reins to your mood.

Listen/watch comedy. Laugh. Listen to the ridiculous stuff they get themselves into.

Watch some Moth stories. TED Talks.

Let everything so silent. Listen again for that clear voice that takes a stand for YOU.

Feel the strength in your legs to balance on your own feet.

BREATHE.

I'm going thru something similar . Wtf I hate this shyt too! Depression is coming on & like u said - feels like a stupid mood to me.

I'm also pms'ing, but I think when depression comes on I also feel it physically... Feel sick and I guess I am sick. Terrible headaches, low energy. Trying to take it easy but too much to do! Takes all I have to not be mean to my kids for no reason, forcing smiles cuz it's good for them & I love em.

Lately I'm controlling my yelling to more of a growl & profanities when I hope no one can hear. Improvement? Maybe but I still hate it. Growled profanities at the tv to shut up leave me alone & it wasn't even on. :/. Recently yelled at the shower too cuz there's mold in it, yelled at shampoo don't remember why. Better than taking it out on & scaring real people, right?

Then I'm in the mirror spewing mean thoughts at myself about whatever... Actually unclenched my teeth, loosened my jaw and changed my wording. Couldn't look myself in the eye in the mirror but changed the nasty thing - "u dumb fat B... ..B... Beautiful sensitive woman in pain...". This is where fake it til u make it is true & good. Someone's got to say nice things to me & change harmful thought patterns & mean mean mean self critiquing.

I took xtra anti anxiety / sleep meds last night over 5 hour span. Finally fell asleep finally around 3am. I wish I hadn't cuz now I may run out early.
Then there's the med hangover,,, ugh yea stupid mood.

What mg were the advils? I hope you are okay. Eat food and drink a lot of water. Please get to the ER if you start feeling faint or any symptoms. And please don't beat yourself up - You are sad and hurting and in pain.

Big gentle hugs

They were the 200mg advil liqui-gels. Took 18 of them but it was spread out a few hours. Little bit of a sore stomach but nothing major - I've definitely taken more over my lifetime. Am just mad that I did because like... it's the first time I've even HAD pills in the house and I go straight back to the stupid things.

I've mostly been watching Freaks and Geeks because I have no desire or ability to face anything. I did make myself put away the laundry, but that's been in. Sorry to hear that you're not feeling too good yourself

You're not a failure...not telling anyone, hiding it and continue to do it would be a failure.

Don't feel like a failure. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just know what not to do next time. What's done is done. Nothing left to do but move forward

I'm having the same kind of day. It started when my daughter picked up my granddaughter. I just started crying for no reason. I started watching TV and every show made me cry more. This used to happen to me a lot however its been quite some time since that I actually felt any emotions. I told my Dr and she started me on Wellbutrin a couple weeks ago. Maybe that's causing these emotions.

I really hope you feel better soon. :-)

At least they can't yell back! (give yourself a break, it is frustrating but no deal breaker---something else going on underneath?)
I used to keep old bottles to smash...

Advil isn't acetaminophen I hope. Because that will kill your liver and there is no cure.

That would be an awful death for anyone thinking about taking too much Tylenol or acetaminophen. Seriously, If you overdose on it you destroy your liver. But you don't die right away.

Please take care of yourself. This comes from someone who just took 10 mg of Ativan and 5 clonidine to escape my psych pain.

Advil is not acetaminophen, they are entirely different.

My shower goes from hot to cold all the time and every time it does I yell at it. I live in an apartment and my neighbour must wonder about me. But I'm sure his shower does it too, so he probably laughs when he hears me.
And I mutter bad words under my breath every time my laptop misbehaves.
Everyone does things like that from time to time. Don't beat yourself up. It's human to get frustrated. Yelling or swearing at inanimate objects is harmless.
Just don't take any more advil. If you haven't already, eat a meal, or at least some milk and bread to put something into your stomach beside the advil. Eat some soothing foods, like eggs or oatmeal. Did you phone poison control? If not, phone them to put your mind at rest.

Well this happened two weekends ago, so I am fine. I actually started to come out of the depression a week ago and got smacked with a bug so I've been most out of comission this week.

Advil's ibuprofen, not paracetemol. Over the years I've sorted OD'd on aspirin, tyelnol, and advil... never more than one of them though. So far I've eluded liver damage.

And here's hoping I don't resort to it again. Still feel stupid. I tell tell my T about it though - I emailed him and told him to print it off.

I understand...I know the feeling. I hope that knowing you are not alone in your feelings and actions helps....even if just a little. Take a nap, watch a show, eat a little something, breathe. You are worth it.

Hi. Why don't you get better pain meds so you don't have to take so many? I have a bad back and used to take heaps of codeine to cope with the pain. Now I'm on morphine and only have to take 2 a day.
I understand what you mean by shaming yourself on here to try to change your behaviour. I have a thing with confessing my bad behaviours to others because if it's said out loud to someone else, then it's real and has to be dealt with now. If that's what you need to do to get you to change then you should open up and talk on here more often. We won't judge you or think poorly of you. We can all relate and we all care and want you to feel better about yourself.
Anyway, good luck, take care and keep us posted about your progress and any developments. Thanks for sharing.