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#276
Oct 19, 2013, 03:24 PM
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Relieved. Stuff off walls was put back. Not sure what to call it. Probably a test (He's got BPD). Some kind of technique. With Pavlovian effectiveness, lol. Psych says he's got me trained. She's right, sad to say. (Nothing was ever said, btw. Which kind of confirms the above, eh?)
Doing alright. Really good last night (working on art). Going to do some more -- want to keep that feeling going!  (It's the one thing that I feel really confident in. Brilliant even. Even if it's a delusion, I'm ok with that!  )
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#277
Oct 19, 2013, 05:37 PM
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Not feeling too good today but hopefully this too will pass. I just wish my darn med wasnt so erratic, yesterday I was up most of the day, today I can hardly stay awake. Not only am I having friend trouble, my son's gf broke up with him today and he was going to ask her to marry him this wknd. Talk about crossed wires.
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#278
Oct 19, 2013, 05:46 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg  Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#279
Oct 19, 2013, 11:28 PM
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I'm doing good today, mood has been stable even under a lot of stress
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
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#280
Oct 20, 2013, 03:51 AM
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felt really bad all day yesterday, so didn't post too much.
stayed in bed mostly... and today, not much better- severely depressed and suicidal, but i'm sitting by my window feeling the air on my face... that's nice. i am having my roast dinner today which will be nice (not sure if it will be lamb or bief yet), and getting my requests played this morning like i do every sunday... so i guess that's a reason to get up. |
 Anonymous37807
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#281
Oct 20, 2013, 04:56 AM
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Pretty ordinary day - stable but not so positive as I have been. Back on that wagon tomorrow, today didnt start as planned and I was very flat all day after. I was out most of the day celebrating my friends birthday, so I played the game even though I didnt feel much like doing it. I have a great day organised for tomorrow, Im looking forward to it.
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 Blue_Bird, Moose72
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#282
Oct 20, 2013, 01:22 PM
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No bueno. It's Sunday and I have to work tomorrow, which means I'm very unhappy today. I'd love to call my boss and tell her that I quit (I daydream about that moment almost as much as "the other thing"). My husband isn't completely on board with me quitting just yet. *sigh*
__________________
[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"][FONT="Century Gothic"]Dx: Bipolar II w/mixed episodes, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia Rx: Lamictal 100mg, Zoloft 75mg, Klonopin 0.5mg x1 /0.25 PRN “Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it.” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation |
| Blue_Bird, Moose72
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#283
Oct 20, 2013, 03:15 PM
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Not so good. Slept most of yesterday and got up at 1 today. My boyfriend and I are emailing again. Sigh. Why can't I just say goodbye and let go.
Sent from my Note 2 using Tapatalk 4
__________________
Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD Seroquel 100 mg Risperdal 0.5 mg Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg Buspar 5 mg Lamictal 200 mg Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure Crestor for high cholesterol Asmanex Ventolin  |
| Blue_Bird
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#284
Oct 20, 2013, 09:42 PM
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Not so great today. Had a panic attack for no apparent reason and had to resort to my Klonopin I hope I am not heading further down.
__________________
Bi-polar 2 Lamictal 225 titrating up to 300 mg Celexa 40 mg Wellbutrin 300 mg Deplin 15 mg Klonopin .5 prn Benicar 20mg Synthroid .1 mcg |
| Anonymous200280, Moose72
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#285
Oct 20, 2013, 09:48 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#286
Oct 20, 2013, 10:06 PM
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Another day with zero enjoyment. Went to work and got caught in a bit of a negative thinking trap, eventually got out of that. I've kept pushing myself, and there is so much more to do today, but I can see this easily becoming another day where I would rather distract myself all day than face reality. If I get through a quarter of the things on my list I will feel like I have achieved something. Fridays anxiety really messed me up, I have so much to catch up on now.
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| Blue_Bird, Moose72
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#287
Oct 20, 2013, 10:16 PM
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My mood has lifted a lot from the other day, not doing too bad. I really just need to change the way I think. Maybe the CBT workbook I got will help with that. Starting to get sick though
 I think that comes with the change of season. I'm still going to push myself to not lay around too much though unless I feel worse than I do now. Tomorrow should be a good day, working out and learning self help techniques.
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| Anonymous200280, Anonymous37807, Moose72
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#288
Oct 21, 2013, 05:06 AM
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This weekend I was depressed and I slept and slept, and now it's 4 am and I'm wide awake.
__________________
Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD Seroquel 100 mg Risperdal 0.5 mg Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg Buspar 5 mg Lamictal 200 mg Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure Crestor for high cholesterol Asmanex Ventolin |
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#289
Oct 21, 2013, 06:36 AM
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Well I had a relaxing few days as I stayed at my friend's flat while she was out of town.
Came home last night and have been reminding myself constantly "it's only until Wednesday" Wake up this morning and have only barely been up... and houseguest wakes up. WTF?! So yet again.... I get zero semblance of privacy and my stress level feels just like it did last Thursday before I left to go to my friend's place!!
__________________
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
| Phoenix_1
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#290
Oct 21, 2013, 08:20 AM
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Feeling depressed today. Have a Skype appointment with my T at 9 a.m. Not sure what I'll do after that. I need to be working on a legal brief for work but have high anxiety about it since when I last worked on it (last Thursday) my mind was just swirling after two hours and I thought "How will I ever get this done in this frame of mind/mood?" The deadline looms.
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| Blue_Bird
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#291
Oct 21, 2013, 08:28 AM
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Skype with your T? I haven't tried Skype on my new tablet, but I know it kept hanging up on me on my ipod. Is your T far?
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#292
Oct 21, 2013, 08:31 AM
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Feeling depressed and trapped. All I can think about is quitting my job. If I don't quit soon, I'll probably end up fired. I'm behind in some work and if I don't get it done by 10/31, then I'll get written up. They've already made this clear and despite this fact...I don't care.
__________________
[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"][FONT="Century Gothic"]Dx: Bipolar II w/mixed episodes, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia Rx: Lamictal 100mg, Zoloft 75mg, Klonopin 0.5mg x1 /0.25 PRN “Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it.” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation |
| Anonymous37807, Blue_Bird
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#293
Oct 21, 2013, 08:35 AM
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Quote:
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#294
Oct 21, 2013, 09:14 AM
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It's 6am and I haven't slept, but there's something about not sleeping that's calming. Definitely a nice vacation from what I've been putting up with lately though. I'm not sure if I should sleep or not... Hmmm...
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#295
Oct 21, 2013, 11:14 AM
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It will catch up with you eventually, pride.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#296
Oct 21, 2013, 11:17 AM
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Today, I went and picked up my friend. His car is in the shop. So he's here at Starbucks with me. I have to get my kids at school later so he'll have to be here until I get back. The thing is, he is a large person. He barely fits in my car. When we go places we drive in his car. So driving in mine made me nervous because the seatbelt wouldn't fit him. Good thing it was a short drive. He held it on him just so we wouldn't get pulled over, thank goodness! But I'm glad for the company. That reminds me:I haven't charged this keyboard in days and its still working. I guess I should charge it soon.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#297
Oct 21, 2013, 12:05 PM
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the depressive state continues, just been going around going through the motions... not really anything exciting happening here at all- though tomorrow my aunt from sweden is coming down from sweeden for a week, and she hates me. that's gonna be a fun week... perfict to make my depression worse- well she's mainnly down to see the family, but i'm sure she'll bug me too at some stage.
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| Anonymous45023
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#298
Oct 21, 2013, 12:23 PM
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She hates you? Then why would she visit with you at all when she's there?
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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#299
Oct 21, 2013, 12:29 PM
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Quote:
because, my family are messed up she's mainly down to see the others before christmas... so we'll have to see |
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#300
Oct 21, 2013, 12:30 PM
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Quote:
the idea of talking to someone through my computer just freaks me out. always believed it crossed the boundries between computers and reality- but that's just me.. i'd never do such a thing |
| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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