Trying a new very strict budget to pay off the visa bills I ran up last manic episode. So far I am on budget. Of course it is only the fifth of the month, but so far so good. We'll have to see how the rest of the month goes.

[Jcon614]

I am plugging along today, but still can't get a shower or out of the house. I am still waiting on a second opinion if I am bipolar or not and don't have an appt until just before thanksgiving. This depression and anxiety is truly crippling.

This website helps me know I am not alone.

[Alokin]

Wooooooooooooow, someone is irritable today. Is it bipolar or just me? I don't know! I have been working on staying mindful and letting it passssssssssssssss. I even used the technique with a particularly trying coworker. He still has his head!

[Blue_Bird]

Doing okay mood wise. Other than that, kind of worried. I have no job, no friends, no life, at all. I wake up everyday looking forward to going to sleep every night, I literally sit there and count down each hour. The only events that happen in my life are T and Pdoc appointments. That's all I have to look forward to, I know that's pathetic. My day's are filled with nothing but time to think. I really need to work on this, I don't even know where to start.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Doing okay mood wise. Other than that, kind of worried. I have no job, no friends, no life, at all. I wake up everyday looking forward to going to sleep every night, I literally sit there and count down each hour. The only events that happen in my life are T and Pdoc appointments. That's all I have to look forward to, I know that's pathetic. My day's are filled with nothing but time to think. I really need to work on this, I don't even know where to start.

Can you do some stained-glass coloring books with markers or colored pencils? Those helped me concentrate on something and push away the bad thoughts. Or a hook and yarn rug project. Having nothing but time to think is no fun.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Can you do some stained-glass coloring books with markers or colored pencils? Those helped me concentrate on something and push away the bad thoughts. Or a hook and yarn rug project. Having nothing but time to think is no fun.

I actually recently thought about buying a coloring book, that might be a good way to focus on something else like you said, thanks for the suggestion!

[Phoenix_1]

I'm like you Blue_Bird. I saw my T today and see my pdoc Thursday. I also go to physiotherapy for my knee tomorrow. 3 appointments is a good week. I miss working but I'm just not capable now. And I'm having another knee surgery in Jan-Feb. I have an Easter coloring book that I bought for my grandkids. I'll have to get it out.

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[MoonOwl]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I actually recently thought about buying a coloring book, that might be a good way to focus on something else like you said, thanks for the suggestion!

Blue Bird, If you do a search for "coloring pages" or "adult coloring pages" on the net you will find a lot of free stuff to print out. Coloring with colored pencils got me through some bad times last year. Took my mind off stuff and I really enjoyed it.

[AnxietyGirl916]

Super anxious for no reason whatsoever. I wonder what that's all about.

spent yesterday curled up in a corner... it was firework night in the UK, and fire's a huge trigger for me.... ended up thinking a lot of bad thoughts- and also harming myself.

not really much better today- the disturbing thoughts continue

I enjoy colouring in too. I didnt realise until I was working in childcare and helped the kids colour in. Now I do it on my own time

Stable today, no anxiety, work was great, I didnt get on the horse but I did spend time with her brushing and talking.

[wiretwister]

was able to fix a running faucet this morning a real confidence booster, feeling better if only for a while....

[Phoenix_1]

I'm feeling a little better. My GP gave me an inhaler for my allergies on Monday. I'm just wondering if inhaled corticosteroids have the same effect on (hypo) )mania that other steroids like prednisone do. I read that prednisone can trigger mania. Does anyone know?

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[A Red Panda]

DISCLAIMER: TMI - female health issues!

Today I stayed home again. Monday I had a colposcopy and then a biopsy... and yesterday I went home at lunch because it still really hurt to move.

Today I stayed home more for mental health... because I'm stressing out about it. I've had biopsies in the past, but this time they were talking about the next steps ahead of time and I'm in a "moderate-severe" risk factor which I think is new for me.. and they took more samples than normal. And used no topical anesthetic.

But today, over 48 hours later... I also started bleeding bright red. It's not the normal discharge that I'm used to having after a biopsy (I've had 2 others during the past 10 years), and the fact that it's started 2 days later is creepy. And I'm actually crampy.

Gonna give it a day to see how that goes and then I just might call the doctor.

This really sucks. And it scares me and stresses me out - I've not really been scared of the past ones.

[RenjiCat]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

DISCLAIMER: TMI - female health issues!

Today I stayed home again. Monday I had a colposcopy and then a biopsy... and yesterday I went home at lunch because it still really hurt to move.

Today I stayed home more for mental health... because I'm stressing out about it. I've had biopsies in the past, but this time they were talking about the next steps ahead of time and I'm in a "moderate-severe" risk factor which I think is new for me.. and they took more samples than normal. And used no topical anesthetic.

But today, over 48 hours later... I also started bleeding bright red. It's not the normal discharge that I'm used to having after a biopsy (I've had 2 others during the past 10 years), and the fact that it's started 2 days later is creepy. And I'm actually crampy.

Gonna give it a day to see how that goes and then I just might call the doctor.

This really sucks. And it scares me and stresses me out - I've not really been scared of the past ones.

So sorry! I know the worry and stress you're going through. I've had two breat surgeries (fybrocystic breast disease). The last surgery they removed a cyst and a mass. They brought me into a room where a counselor explained all the ways they would fight the cancer if found. That was the longest 2 weeks of my life!

You may want to go ahead and call the doctor. If nothing else it will help eleiviate some stress/worry.

[RenjiCat]

Today is my birthday! I'm taking care of my Daddy today. He's still pretty bad from the surgery. Mama wants to wait on this next ( and hopefully last) surgery. I got to make him some oats with brown sugar but he didn't eat it. Mama just called to check on him and ended ranting to me how he's just laying there waiting to die. Happy birthday to me... Oh well gotta go check on him.

[Alokin]

First, Red Panda, I am really sorry you are going through all that!! Second, I looked up red pandas, how cute!!!!! Lastly, today is a good day. My time prioritization is paying off! I am having a lot of trouble remember words and things sound weird sometimes. I think the beautiful fall day has me in good spirits!

[Alokin]

Happy birthday RenjiCat!

[RenjiCat]

Originally Posted by Alokin

Happy birthday RenjiCat!

Thank you very much!!

[Moose72]

Went out with a friend for only an hour. We got coffee at a different place and did a bunch of errands. I have to get my kids from school soon.

Happy birthday to Renjicat.

I slept in today, had weird dreams about getting tattoos on my arms and hands and fingers and then miscarrying a rather large fetus- twice.

[Phoenix_1]

Happy birthday RenjiCat !

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Originally Posted by Phoenix_1

.. I'm just wondering if inhaled corticosteroids have the same effect on (hypo) )mania that other steroids like prednisone do. I read that prednisone can trigger mania. Does anyone know?

I do not know, but do know that when my BF was given prednisone it was.not.good. Not mania (he's not BP), but has mental health problems that got really weird.
Good luck. Were they aware of mental health issues before prescribing it? (BF tends to skip over telling that bit, not realizing how important it can be. Later our psych found out, and lamented, "Oh no! Not prednisone!")

Happy birthday, RenjiCat!

Doing alright today! Got some errands done. Emotionally pretty neutral. Yea.

[RenjiCat]

My birthday all summed up:

10am Made my Daddy oats of which he ate maybe three bites, but that's ok his stomach has shrunk so small that's probably all he could hold
12:30 Got a call from Mama checking on Daddy. Then she proceeded to rant for 10 minutes about how Daddy isn't doing what he needs to build his strength and he's basically laying there dying little by little
12:45 I try to get Daddy to drink a protein drink. He cussed me and took two drinks. I had him chase it with water to get the taste out.
12:50- I break down and start crying. It got so bad that I texted my big sister (who I don't get along with) and begged her to come home so I could leave.
3:00pm My big sister finally comes home and tries to calm me.
3:30pm I leave and go shopping. I buy and outfit and 2 pretzels w/cheese. Oh and Lindsey Stirling's Album
5:00pm Come home fully expecting to find a bouquet of flowers with a wonderful note (my bf is out of state working). Thinking that THIS will make up for everything. Instead I find...nothing..nada..zip
5:10pm break down again only this time I get in a cleaning frenzy and start throwing everything away. I even swept the ceiling. ? IDK why
6:30pm I finally text my bf and ask if he forgot. He said "no". I said "well you haven't wished me a happy bday or anything..." His response: "Oh crap! I didn't realize it was the 6th already! Happy Birthday Baby"
8:53pm Mama calls to apologize.
9:00pm I give up!

Sorry for the rant.. I had to get it out! Crap I forgot to take my Seroquil!

[AnxietyGirl916]

Originally Posted by RenjiCat

Today is my birthday! I'm taking care of my Daddy today. He's still pretty bad from the surgery. Mama wants to wait on this next ( and hopefully last) surgery. I got to make him some oats with brown sugar but he didn't eat it. Mama just called to check on him and ended ranting to me how he's just laying there waiting to die. Happy birthday to me... Oh well gotta go check on him.

Happy birthday!!!

[Blue_Bird]

Just saw your post not sure if I'm late or not but either way Happy Birthday RenjiCat!

Been doing okay, I find out about a volunteer job later today. It would be once a week, that would be an amazing step and improvement for me, I think it would give me at least a sense of purpose which I feel I'm lacking in my life right now, plus it will feel great to be helping other people.

Maybe this will slowly help me be ready to get a job at some point in the future, at least part time