Haha, we watched a Batman dvd last night, emomom! (The third one.)

Anyhow, it's been a good couple of days. Back on same page with BF (He's BPD. I'm not. It makes a crazy ride.). It's situational of course, but I'll take it, lol! When it's good it's very good, when it's bad… yeah, you know how it goes. I see it as having "him" back. Send all that enigmatic perceptional brain s*** a packin'! To quote (him), "I'm not going to let my stupid emotions rule me!".
(Can I get that in writing? Yeah, right after I have to sign off on…my challenges. Oh ,where to start…)

So, like a good hypo, I'm enjoying it while it lasts…

Speaking of which, off to it!

[Phoenix_1]

Last night I woke up at 4 am filled with anxiety. I went back to my online women's group yesterday and got 8 emails last night. Can you get social anxiety from too many emails? I went back to bed at 6 so I slept a total of 10 hours. I'm still sleeping too much. I increase the lamictal on Friday so I hope it kicks in soon.

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[gayleggg]

I'm finally beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel of depression for now. The Prozac seems to be working. I'm really glad to have some enjoyment in life again, especially, with Thanksgiving coming up next week and my daughter and son-in-law coming for lunch. Maybe I can enjoy the day.

Woke up at 4am and my mind was racing so fast I could barely keep up. Not sure if I was actually asleep or not cause the thoughts never stopped all the way till my alarm went off.

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Good news! The pool heater is fixed so next week I plan to go back to my water class. My son rescued a baby squirrel this morning, I got to pet it, he seemed sweet (well, the squirrel, I know my son is sweet )
Bad news, have had an upset tummy all day from antibiotic and realizing my ear still hurts a little so need to go back and get that looked at. Not looking forward to more days of antibiotics. The tummy upset has been ongoing just seemed worse today. So I napped here and there.
Moodwise, its been ok, a little anxious earlier but thats eased. So we'll see what tomorrow brings.

[Confusedinomicon]

A red panda, you should make a food journal and look up common food allergies. Start removing groups of food for 2 weeks at a time. Also look into acid reflux. I think those are the most common reasons for upset stomachs.

I've been good. Just sleep deprived.

Mood-wise, fine.
Emotion-wise, grumpy and a bit agitated.
Physical-wise, sick. Nauseated and head-achey. Really bothersome pressure (sinus?) pain at one eye. Ah, timing. Had just finished writing that and had to run to bathroom to barf. Ugh. Sorry, TMI.
BF is feeling the same way (w/o above new development). We were in bed before 8 (alas, merely to sleep -- what with feeling like crap). That is ridiculously early for us. I'd just gotten up to eat some soup, so checked in here at PC.
Apparently, no good time shall go unblighted. Hope whatever this is passes quickly, not only for obvious reasons, but because I can NOT miss any work. There has been so little lately that there are days off, and it's killing an already paltry paycheck.
Whining, yeah. Back to bed.

I'm getting over a flu and hypomanic. No sleep last night although I tried. I really did.

[Moreta]

My job sucks and I'm falling apart physically. My elbow really hurts and my foot is killing me. I have no idea what I've done to them. I just know my pain meds aren't working. My back is acting up again, so I went to the chiro last night, and I'm going again tomorrow. I keep having anxiety attacks at work, when there's nothing going on, so there should be no reason for it. I hate my life right now.

[anneo59]

rough, but not as rough as before. Emerging from breakdown and trying to put pieces together. Trying to appreciate the positive, laugh, take care of business, and help others, all of which help with coping. Blessings to all!

[Blue_Bird]

I honestly can't even tell how I'm doing, I'm not having sui thoughts right now so I guess everything's okay but I don't feel I have any purpose in life, I wish I could sleep all day everyday if it was possible. I haven't left my house in over 2 weeks, I have too much anxiety to even step out the door. I have an appointment with my T tomorrow, not sure if I should bring any of this up, it's kind of embarrassing that I can't even leave my own house unless it's for an appointment. I have no life, no friends, I don't even know where to start. I feel like I'm not meant to be alive, am wasting space and resources, really have no idea what to do.

Feeling bad that my husband and I argued this morning - - big theme was his difficulty in dealing with my "mental illness." Scared about our future together. Really wish a full-time job would come through.

Pretty good day today. Slept all night and woke up at 5:15am and no real BP2 symptoms to speak of. Wish every day could be like this.
Quite happy.

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Still not going well. My partner wants me to go to hospital. My dad suggested it the other day aswell. I dont know what they can do for me, just drug me up til Im too stupid to plan suicide again. The hormonal depression comes round again and again and there is nothing they can do. One thing they can try but not until next year, and I dont think I can keep going that long. Especially with christmas coming up.

[mmort]

I have to believe that tomorrow will be better.. Right now my anixty is high my SI
is kicking me hard. and I am just ready to give up.

[Moreta]

I did it!! I gave my 2 week notice to my part time job! Yay!! I can come home at 5 and do whatever I like finally. She kept asking if I could stay on until January. I wanted to be like, what don't you understand about a 2 week notice?

I am so happy.

[Blue_Bird]

Depression is here to stay for awhile, saw my therapist today. Seeing my pdoc on Tuesday, getting meds adjusted hopefully. Something's gotta change, everything seems pointless.

Woke in the middle of the night. Was really hypo and could not understand why. Not sure but I think I was sleeping although it didn't feel like it.

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[thickntired]

I just got back from doing my service work. I go to AA mtgs at the women's jail on Thursday. It helps me get out of myself. Tonight we talked about forgiveness and had a lot if tears. I'm grateful that I am sober and my seroquel seems to be ending this mixed episode.

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[Blue_Bird]

Hallucinations starting up today, my appt. with pdoc can't come soon enough, I can't wait to get some stability.

[AnxietyGirl916]

Still stable. Trying to keep myself busy. Worried about how long the stability will last. I feel like all I want to do anymore is sleep. Meds make me tired, plus I've gained weight (weight neutral my ***), so that's slowed down my metabolism. Ugh. I feel like I just can't win.

For some reason, I'm feeling a little more encouraged today. I think it's because I have a strong feeling a full-time job is around the corner. I'm so tired of having nothing to do, and no doubt that contributes to my depression. Improved relationship with my husband over the past couple of days is a bonus too. Nothing like a bad argument to get a couple to appreciate each other more, and to work harder on the relationship.

Round 2 of antibiotics for my ear, oh well, upset tummy for 10 more days, at least I'm losing weight! Effective but not recommended. Driving back home from dr office I realized its a nice day outside and I feel kind of good. First time in 3 weeks! I've done some housework these last couple of days and feel like I can handle buying my Thanksgiving dinner groceries today. So definitely things have improved. My pdoc increased my depakote and added latuda last Wed so its taken 10 days to get here. I've been mixed with mostly depression since Oct 29. Its a good day so far.

I feel heaps better today. Amazingly better. Turns out I was in the midst of the crazy hormones for the last week or so and now my period has started Im a zillion times better. I didnt get any anxiety, and the OCD was bareable this month so I didnt expect it to be hormones. Its the first time in 9 or 10 months that I havent gone batshit crazy the day before (but having a sneaky vape might have helped that).

Another few months of this until they can try anything. I dont understand why they insist on population growth here when it takes months and months to get medical treatment. Obviously too many people and not enough doctors!

Have so much to do today, I feel I can get a good part of it done, but it is still hard to get started on my own.

Way, way up this morning and down tonight. Had a good cry and am feeling a bit more controlled, but moods coming out of the blue and quickly returning to normal. Maybe I am hormonal a few days early this month, not that you all want to hear about it. It is hard to deal with going from impulsive and cutting my own hair to sobbing sitting in the bottom of my shower all within the same day.