[SingDanceRunLife]

Today started out like crap. I was running late this morning and barely made the bus, I forgot to get more creamer for my coffee so I had to use milk which to me makes coffee taste watered down, I really needed more coffee, but I couldn't drink more than 1 cup with milk, so I was tired and grumpy...but things have turned around quite a bit since then. In fact, right now, I'm in an extremely good mood and am just genuinely happy! Not like manic or hypo or anything, just genuinely feeling good! And what turned everything around was a conversation with a co-worker that started out with a "Hey what's up?" from me to her. It's true what they say...a new friend is just a conversation away Our conversation honestly made me feel so much better, and so much less alone.

[Phoenix_1]

I went for X rays of my other knee today. I see the surgeon on Monday to see if it needs replacing too. I hope not. I don't want to go through all this again. But if it's bad with arthritis I may as well get it fixed too and get it all over with. I am so bored I want to go back to work. But my last employer fired me because I needed so much time off for surgery. I guess I'll just sit the winter out. The earliest I can get my second knee done is February. It's going to be a long winter. Does this even make sense? I'm typing on my phone and I really can't tell.

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Laid down to sleep but had a crazy dream and woke with my heart racing and took forever to fall back to sleep. My dreams are so bizarre sometimes...not terrifying...just action packed and they get my adrenaline into overdrive and then it takes forever to get my heart rate back down.
Plus the chatter and music in my head, all battling for position....i really wish I could just flip a switch and shut my brain off for a while...this is exhausting!!!

BUT...it beats the hell out of the depression I used to endure....so bring it on!

i'm just glad it's finally friday.

another tough week coming to an end

welcome to the weekend

[Blue_Bird]

Woke up with a good attitude, going to have a nice day. Looking forward to the weekend

Horrible day. I need hugs please. Feeling like I'm coming unglued. Getting in an argument with my husband this morning as sent me into a tailspin. Logically, I know things between us will be fine eventually, but I'm in such a fragile state that I can't take his putdowns right now.

Hardly slept last night and am supposed to facilitate a DBSA meeting today. Don't know if I can do it. Just feeling lost and like a failure today. I have nothing else to do today and can't come up with anything I want to do. Too cold to walk the dogs. Already went to the grocery store and dusted our bedroom. OK, this is long, sorry. This depression SUCKS!

[AnxietyGirl916]

I'm just ok today. After a vacation day I have to go back to work and I don't want to! Today is payday though, so that's a plus.

getting really really frustrated that i still, can't, use, the, hug, or, thanks, command.

saying, it, really, slowly, because i am that annoyed by it- it's like my best features on the forums

ugg

[Zabine]

So far today I have slept in way too late. I want to go for a fun, lifts some weights and so a short yoga, then finish my project. But I am still in bed..... How long until Wellbutrin begins to work? I need some motivation.....

[Zabine]

Also does anyone every hear things in fast forward? It is creeping me out.....

[Phoenix_1]

It seems like my boyfriend and I are on track again. We're talking about moving to the US when my knee surgeries & physio are all done. This is where we were last June. So maybe I shouldn't worry about getting a job after surgery? Being on disability is so boring. I need to volunteer or something. Why does life have to be so hard?

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[naejannej]

saw my pdoc today...some med adjustments. feeling a little down. managed to come to work, just barely. somehow making it through. just drifiting along...

So might be making a big mistake here but not really sure what other option I have. Im running out of meds and cant afford more so I've cut the dosage of the antipsychotic (Zeldox) in half. So far I feel like I am buzzing, got some sleep last night, but Im wide awake this morning which is unusual for me at this time. I feel weak at the same time though, like I've just run a big race and I still have adrenaline pumping. Im really hoping the withdrawals arnt too bad, I have a bit planned this weekend and would like to do it all!

[roads]

Supanova, have you talked with your pdoc and pharmacy? Or contacted the manufacturer of Zeldox? Going off it as quickly as you are seems a very bad idea medically, from what I'm reading in WikiPedia.

The British National Formulary recommends a gradual withdrawal.... to avoid acute withdrawal syndrome or rapid relapse.[34] Due to changes at.... receptor sites in the central nervous system, withdrawal symptoms can occur during abrupt or over-rapid reduction in dosage.
Ziprasidone should be discontinued gradually, with careful consideration from the prescribing doctor, to avoid withdrawal symptoms or relapse. Withdrawal may become even more difficult after failed attempts.
Support groups such as The Icarus Project and other online forums provide resources and social support for those attempting to discontinue antipsychotics and other psychiatric medications.[35] Withdrawal symptoms reported to occur after discontinuation of antipsychotics include nausea, emesis, lightheadedness, diaphoresis, dyskinesia, orthostatic hypotension, tachycardia, nervousness, dizziness, headache, excessive non-stop crying, and anxiety.[36][37] Ziprasidone - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

WikiPedia isn't a rock-solid source, but the references used in the article seem reliable. I don't think you ought to try going off this so quickly. Pfizer works with patients in some countries to help them acquire their products. Patient & Prescription Assistance Programs | Pfizer: the world's largest research-based pharmaceutical company

Take care of yourself. My PCP has intervened directly with manufacturers like Pfizer for me in the past, when very expensive medication wasn't covered by my insurance. Ask around!

Roadie

[LostNAngry]

I feel unloved, lost, hurt, alone, and I would say angry but really what Im feeling is sadness. I use anger to cover up sadness so I am angry a lot. This med change, school, everything is too much. I found out some depressing news and it hurts my heart. My heart is full of sadness and I am down very low.

[Blue_Bird]

Realizing I have no purpose in life. I think I'm in a mixed episode. It's horrible. I can't sleep, have too much energy, so many things I want to do, yet at the same time I want nothing more than to end my life, have so much self hatred, am crying. It makes no sense at all. I'm too energized and too depressed at the same time, I can't stand it. I'm going to try to make it through this though.

[roads]

Blue_Bird, from previous posts I think you are knowledgable about bipolar disorder ... and I'm hoping you know this time as well that what you're feeling isn't attached to any reality in fact. this is not your world, your life, or yourself. .... You brain chemistry is out of whack, and your medical condition is out of control.

Nothing is going to sense right now because your brain isn't functioning as it ought to be. You need professional help. Do you have any sort of support group where you life?
Roadie

[roads]

Blue_Bird, from previous posts I think you are knowledgable about bipolar disorder ... and I'm hoping you know this time as well that what you're feeling isn't attached to any reality in fact. this is not your world, your life, or yourself. .... You brain chemistry is out of whack, and your medical condition is out of control.

Nothing is going to sense right now because your brain isn't functioning as it ought to be. You need professional help. Do you have any sort of support group where you life?
Roadie

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Roadie

Blue_Bird, from previous posts I think you are knowledgable about bipolar disorder ... and I'm hoping you know this time as well that what you're feeling isn't attached to any reality in fact. this is not your world, your life, or yourself. .... You brain chemistry is out of whack, and your medical condition is out of control.

Nothing is going to sense right now because your brain isn't functioning as it ought to be. You need professional help. Do you have any sort of support group where you life?
Roadie

Hi Roadie, there's no support groups that I know of here but I will be seeing the my therapist next week. Maybe I'll bring it up to her, I just feel bad because things were going so well.

i am finally caught up on all my dvds.

so todays the day i get to look online to see what i fancy next

oh and today is saturday so it's KFC day... can never fail me

[johnthorne1539]

Think I've jinxed myself. Been down the last two days... struggling to do the things I know I need to do. Very strong sense of loneliness. Trying to push through, but at the end of every task I just want to stop--not that I want to do anything else, but I want to do nothing. I want to bury my head.

[Moreta]

I feel better today. I'm going to go and get the Prazosin from the drug store today. See if that helps with the nightmares. I always get worse at night though, so we'll see.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Hi Roadie, there's no support groups that I know of here but I will be seeing the my therapist next week. Maybe I'll bring it up to her, I just feel bad because things were going so well.

This is the perfect time to blog how you are feeling. Leave a message for pdoc in the meantime before you can see her and if you can't do that, call psych ER and ask to talk to a nurse. And also- don't feel bad. That's how things go- one day you're perfectly fine, then next its all gone to hell. Its not your fault.

I'm feeling really good today. Not REEEEEAAALLLLLLYYYY GGGGGOOOOODDDD!!!!!! Just really good. I forget when I'm off meds how well they can work for control. I've been keeping a mood log I found on this site and it's helping to remind me how much better I am on then off my pills.

I'm sorry to hear you are not feeling well Blue_Bird. Keep fighting. It's a roller coaster.

[avlady]

Phoenix, i also had sleep problems, i started going to bed one hour later and it did work too. Mine is also affected by my meds too, and i took them and hour later too. It sure did the trick, but i think it worked too good!!!