I want to quit valproic acid

hey guys!

I was suffering from depression from february to late may, and I started to take paxil and xanax for it. (I regularly went to therapy too). The medication started to work, and it was fine for a few weeks, but then I started to develop hypomania, and eventually had an episode of mania, and I had to go to the hospital for treatment. They put me on Depakene (valproic acid), olanzapine and xanax. These meds helped me get out of the mania, and now it's been 2 months since I got out of the hospital.

Since then we gradually decreased all the dosages of meds, but now I'm slipping into horrible exhaustion, which leads to depression again. My psychiatrist said that it's normal to have depression after an episode of mania.

I weaned off olanzapine, and eventually quit 1 and a half week ago. Since then it's been horrible. Mainly exhaustion, which leads to anxiety and depression. I still take xanax 0,25 three times daily, which helps me with anxiety, but doesn't help me with fatigue at all.

I really don't want to slip into depression again, and this is where my other med, the depakene (valproic acid) comes into play. My psychiatrist insists that it's a "mood stabilizer", but I've read the patient leaflet and it says that it's used to treat the episode of mania.

Now I obviously don't have mania, and it was only triggered by the anti-depressant. I feel like I don't want to take anti-depressants again, and I'm convinced, that the only way out of this is to stop taking valproic acid. I really want to give it a go. She insists me to still take it, because she says if I stop it it might get me into a deeper depression.

I really don't understand why she is saying that this medication is needed for me. I don't have any symptoms of mania, I just have really really bad exhaustion and depression.

Can you guys help me? I desperately want to get out of this, and I feel like quitting this medication could help me.

thank you.

Im not a doctor, your doctors know the case best. But I can see why your pdoc wants you to stay on it. It can act as a mood stabilizer and keep your depression from getting too much worse. I can also understand wanting to get off it.

If you did come off it and the depression got worse, what would your options be? You dont want to take antidepressants and you dont want to take Depakene, would you take an antipsychotic instead? Would that be a better or worse option for you? Or do you feel you will be able to cope without medication? Just some things to think about.

thanks for your answer!
I just want to live a full life without any medications. I feel like since I started to take the anti-depressant I have no idea how I really feel. I'm taking 500mg depakene at night and I don't feel it stabilizes my mood at all. I want too feel that I have energy again. I feel I can definitely cope without medication, only xanax can be kept until I get my life back together. Whenever I start to do a daily task I get exhausted, and then my mind starts spinning, why is this happening, and I feel like I'm gonna go crazy if this keeps on continuing. But if I had energy to cope with daily tasks then I wouldn't have anxiety at all. I just can't imagine getting back to mania if I stop this med. Anti -depressants caused mania, and I stopped them, and not gonna take them again. I just don't want to be drugged, don't want to take any medication that can cause this exhaustion.

How severe has your depression been without medication? Is it to a point where you are a danger? If so meds would help. If its never been that bad then perhaps xanax will be enough. Pdocs prefer to over medicate than under medicate in my experience so if you feel the depakene is making you over medicated then you will have to put your foot down and tell your pdoc you no longer see it as an option and would like to try going it alone, something else or xanax. Keep in mind xanax is not an antidepressant and can be extremely addictive, so please be careful with it.