My turn

It feels like so many people blame everything on bipolar, "Oh Im sad, must be the bipolar" "I cant help it" there is a helplessness here which is starting to bring my enthusiasm down. I notice people react aggressively when someone points out an obvious flaw in their thinking or behaviour patterns. I feel like I am being judgemental when I see posters who do nothing to improve themselves and just give in to their emotional responses.

Yes, I think sometimes there is a kind of unspoken dichotomy present between pointing out that this may be situational and a personal reaction (judgmental) and pointing out that you're probably in x type of episode (not judgmental and well received). Which brings us back to the "not-my-fault-behavior" = bipolar, and "my-fault-behavior" = non-bipolar. Which circles back to the problem, as I see it, of shame, and why behavior we're ashamed of can more readily be placed in the bipolar bin. I think if the shame were tamped down a bit, there would be less helplessness and more flexibility in considering different possible causes of what is going on.

I'm so sorry. I know it must be very hard when a trusted friend seems to disappear on you. I've lost many friends in "real life" and I imagine it's just as painful. You find someone you can truly open up to..it takes a while to get to that place. And when that trusted friend goes, it hurts. I'm sure there have been changes to the forums as new people come in. That must be hard as well.

I can see what you're saying.

However, we newbies may be helpful. Perhaps we just don't know how to open up just yet. Perhaps we're still trying to test the waters, so to speak? I don't want to speak for all the newbies, but this is how I feel.

Please don't give up on us.. I'm sure we (I) could learn a lot from you.

Oh and I agree, Christina is pretty awesome!

Trippin, I hear you and I am sorry that you have been strugglig so much lately. I am also sorry that it has not felt like a safe place for you to get support you need. You know I hate to see you or any members here struggling.

As far as the forum in it's present state...I also feel less comfortable posting here as it stands. Generally I know that if I spoke in a more dirct mannor with my advice it would be very unwelcomed. And it is kind of sad because it is the exact advice I recieved here that has lead me to recovery. Humans while being unique are also similar in many ways. We all want a " what works for you will not work for me" or vice versa approach. Well sometimes that just isn't true either, and more a question of do you want it to work at all? You can see why that would be a problem for me to post.

This forum when we joined way back in 2010 was not very open then either and we did fight to make it more acceptable of many views, I know you remember. Venus without a doubt would also remember Christina and many more. I use to worry I would get branded the annoyingly opptomistic nut . It is something that will probably cycle again as the mental health community ( pdocs, therapists and patients) and the current medical model take time to evolve. It's what we are taught as patients to believe and that is hard to give up as it can offer some sort of comfort, some sort of answer even if it does nothing to give us an actual quality of life that we can be blissful with, not just a quality that is accepted as a bit better than. I know I have been put on ignore many times for promoting things like self responsability, I know that has become a dirty word in much of the mental health community. I am not even talking about meds here, but the messages we are told in general.

I can give empathy and compassion, love to...but it doesn't really solve a whole lot at the end of the day. If I give real advice it no doubt will be met with disdain because I firmly like you, believe in acountability and learning how to steer and direct your own life instead of being steered especially in the face of adversity.



Just remeber you own strength within and abilty to rise above the issues as you have before, and as you can do again. That ability and strength is not finate, it is always there waiting.

Remember our poetry thread...pretty sure I was an odd man out there haha but you know, that's ok...good even. Sometimes being the odd one posting positivity and and feeling a bit out numbered is ok, never know who might find that useful. If it was not for some people taking that risk I might not have ever learned what I did from them. They probably didn't even realize the impact their words had or know how much they changed my life for the best, and you are included in that group as many of you are. But that advice I got came with risk to the poster. I had a hard time as first as well.. I sometimes couldn't understand how to make this work for me and I was challanged to think about what my educated dr's had told me. I was challenged to take a good hard honest look at myself and I can say it was not easy and it was not pretty in many ways. But I have never suffered for doing so. However it takes time to get to that place too.

I can think of times I thought...man this person just doesn't understand...I don't have a choice! Wow was I ...well I was wrong and maybe that person did understand, maybe they understood better than I did, because as it turns out, they were correct.. and I did have a choice..thank god. Took me quite a while to realize that tho. I could not make use of their advice however untill I became open to hearing what they had to say.

Quite frankly I would say the medical health model we use for psychiatry could be likened to brainwashing..to put it nicely. I'll go further with that crazy thought and extend it to the current commonly used physical medical model as well.

It really sucks that you are feeling that way, Trippin... And honestly? That's one of the reasons I don't come here anymore.

The subforum is just packed with what could better be classified as blog entries & it makes it really hard to start a formal discussion about recovery or find something that could stoke serious introspection. I'm drowning in other people's discontent. And not to bash on other people, but those types of posts are really only helpful to the person posting -- maybe they should report to the check-in thread??

I've missed talking to you. And I've missed a lot of my old friends here... The psychosis really took over my focus more than the Bipolar swings did for a while. And my PDs have also been eating up so much of my energy. I just have been spread so thin. Trying to grasp at threads of making a life for myself & trying not to depend on support. But I really miss all of the insight I gained here! That was the only thing that kept me going for a long time.

I hope that maybe if you, me, Christina, & etc. can stick together; perhaps we can reform this area to a better picture of health? A place for un-biased discussion. And of course, support, but we also can't just focus every thought on what our Bipolar is doing to us. We're still people underneath that & need to reclaim it.

I suffer from chronic pain as well. I suffer from endometriosis (constantly) which caused a blood filled cyst on my ovary and I still went to the gym. I opted not to get my ovaries remove since being a young twenty year old going through menopause would be terrible. I don't have the money for sugery so I have to live with this condition and manage it. You can manage it to an extent with medication, but it causes me to go manic. I pick physical pain over mental illness since you can hide pain to a degree. It's too difficult to hide mania because sometimes you aren't aware of your state of mind.

**** having to hide your problems. They're YOURS & yours alone... Pain is excruciating & screws up your mind, as well. You have less energy to deal with the rest of the world.

It's not about choosing one problem over the other -- neither one definitively & concretely outweighs. And exercise is important but not everyone can do exercise. Yes, meds shouldn't be the " be all end all" of treatment & lifestyle changes should be encouraged more often by psychiatrists... But it's not going to automatically fix everything either. If it did, we'd just send everyone out for a jog & wipe mental illness of the planet!

Since when did this stop being about Trippin, again?

Thanks to all who've contributed to this thread thus far, it feels that over all you do understand what I'm talking about and it feels good to be heard.

I really appreciate the time and thought put into the responses as I know this is not a "popular" topic.

Thank you

Remember when one of us would make a thread with a signifigant problem, and the thread would end in ridiculous jokes by all including which ever one of us was the OP, plenty of liquids out the nose and onto our screens out of sheer laughter even in the seriousness of it all. We all seemed to understand that it was but we all worked together like a pack of baffoons to cheer that person on to victory.

We had our social threads which were about nothing at all except to act silly. That is how we all got know each other so darn good I think. That and active true listening to the poster. We talked about so much more than Bipolar. We shared our pain, our tears, our joys, dreams, accomplishments, and real lives with each other. We had arguements and settlements, we acted in unity as a family no matter what situation came to be we learned to work it out together and were always still welcome. We pulled all nighters to keep someone company. We checked in on each other to be sure they were ok, not just onto the next thread and fogotten. We made effort to include everyone new or old, just jump in. We always welcomed new comers with an intro and made them feel part of the group right from the start.

That is what I miss. I think Trippin that is what you mean. It was genuine and from the heart. I think that can happen again and us older members can help create that here as we did before with the help of the newer members just have to get a little creative. It was more than just a bipolar forum. It was a family in every sense of the word.

That is what made pc so much different than other forums. Or even other forums on pc.

We probably broke some rules in doing so but we made this forum into a magical place.

Yes I remember well and you're right, that is exactly what I miss, family, unity, laughter, hope.

The feeling of even if I learn I don't have BP I want to stay here and that's okay. The feeling that we're all sitting around drinking coffee together and I'm the 'serious one' is gone.
So now that we all realize it how do we get it back because laughing through tears was the best part of this board?

Trippin' Whenever I see this I smile because I remember that conversation while I was still newish and I still smile when I see SN: Christina how happy and proud we were/are that she changed PC name to something more suited to her. It still give me hope.

My husband use walk by asking how my friends are by SN. We even had a discussion on how I could consider you guys as much of my friends as my 'IRL' friends and the first time you guys made him cry (good thing) when he did realise how close we all were. Now, he'll ask about some but manly reassures me I probably wont get banned.
So how do we fix this?

Gosh MM I really wish I knew... I mean it evolved gradually until it flourished so beautifully. Maybe we should brains storm on how to achieve this...

I remember how ecstatic we all were with Chris' new name. MoreThingsWrong was just horrid and not at all a reflection on her as a person... Made her sound like a problem and I hated it to bits. Glad she finally gave in to peer pressure

I loved the old "you know you're manic when" threads... Talks about being immortal, riding bicycles nude in the rain, using shoes to make phone calls... very serious stuff that we managed to make light of and laugh off. Good times.

I think it was those type of threads that helped cultivate the comraderie and inevitable genuine relationships and fellowship among us...

Ps. I love you too MM

Aaaaahhhhhh I remember the not so gentle nudging for me to change a name that no longer fit me . LOL But you guys were right " MoreThingsWrong didnt fit me anymore I had changed so much! Thank you Ladies

My opinion is that this forum use to be about taking back your life in loads of different ways .. Taking that power back for the " Bipolar" .. This can be done in so many ways .
And its not even all about " Bipolar" its about any aspect in your life . I remember being in tears many good.... many sad ..But I didn't feel alone. People have sat up with me all nite when I was in danger and not safe ,... why ? because that's just what you did for your loved ones .. I have sat up many a night doing just the same .

Life and Bipolar is like a huge buffet ... You pick and choose what you want on your plate /life .. Someone here long ago told me " just pick a day and say nothing negative and don't allow yourself to "think" anything negative ... Talk about something powerful !!!!! Its hard to do , but then again nothing worth having in your life is easy.

Life can and will get better when I think the focus comes off " OMG I have Bipolar " and we all just decide " I want to enjoy my life and be content / happy and loved by myself and others how do I make that happen ??? Here is where I found the answers.

I think being accountable for your actions and self makes a huge difference in ones life across the board .

Oh the arguments and disagreements on the forum? Oh there were many . But as Anika said it was dealt with in a calm manner and it's okay to disagree about issues ... That just makes us Human . Some of the best advice I read was on a hot thread full of different opinions.

Bipolar may be what brought me here , but all the positive people that helped me see ways to enrich my life is why I stayed .

Thank you Trippin for bring these things back into the light. I honestly think this is going to change alot of things for the better.

I hope it does help bring some optimism back in here! I've been trying with different threads when I think of them, but they get dropped quickly!

I'll go drag a few more of them up

Also faerie-moon. I was very proud she changed her screen name!

I think that there was a flood of new members and they are coming from the medical model. Group of us all discovered how accountability for actions worked and how to apply new skills through trial.and error. New people haven't been exposed as much.

However, its only possible to learn as long as you aren't defensive and are willing to experience trials. If you don't want to learn its pointless.

I agree that this may be part of the issue yes.
Also loved Farie's name change I hope that the positive, interactive threads that have been posted are welcomed with a bit more of an open mind.

It made me smile to see what some members came up with and the responsiveness of others here

Know what? I am liking a lot of the new threads that are cropping up.

And if I may toot my own horn (oh goodness that looks MORE ridiculous to type than it is to say!!) I sorta like how thinking through this has been giving me my own ideas. hahahaha.

Awww, Trippin'

been missing seeing you around.

Sadly, I agree with what was said, that is partially the reason why I am not so much around as I used to be (and that I have having a really busy and hopefully productive period of my life).

It really seems it's 90% of whine and "twelve letter advice" (take your meds) lately. (I even seen posts consisting of nothing but "take your meds", or at best "take your meds" being part of two line response to long, hurt OP... that may or may not have included they want answers outside of takeyomeds. Honestly, who wants to take their meds already takes 'em. If somebody do not want, they do not want. What else can we do to advice and help ourselves?).

ANd I miss the old members too, I miss the atmosphere, when one could make joke without being jumped on (I made recently joke about Big Pharma and several people took it personally and lectured me on how I should be and behave). I miss the threads about lustin', music, poetry, food and stuff. I miss when we could discuss life without it being about bipolar and needing to up our meds if we feel not right at the moment.

I don't know what it is exactly, but I am glad I am not the only one who feels this forum is loosing some of the spark.

I was wondering if you were feeling like I do, because I noticed your regular post count decrease drastically too, and watched how your humour wasn't understood any longer because familiar faces have decreased sO much...

Don't cyber smack me but I must you! ((((((((((Venus))))))))))

*Said as I straighten myself*

"Ok, I'm done being touchy feely"

I hope we can recreate that atmosphere that we have somehow lost over here.

I only just saw this thread (((Lia))). I know you been going through a lot Sis
I feel same way but I was gone on my hypo for months just checking in here & there - random poems or let you know what cray thing i did the night before, but came back to rules & new people, my poetry gets moved to corner, I inappropriately got aggro & had a talking to from mods, embarrassing, oh well. I remember you said feelin like the new girl. And me too. The dynamic changed. We just have to get our bearings again and all get to know each other. It will never be the same but let's try to get comfortable again. You know I been going thru the ringer too, I'm reluctant to post personal thread here lately. Worried someone will say, this is a bpd issue not bp & some argument will start. I'm already fragile, don't give me arguments yanno? Anyway we made some magic happen here, time stopped and we were safe totally unaware we were actually on stage for entire internet.. maybe we'll learn lessons how to bend & adapt to ever changing groups who will be here. I hope we can make it back into a family, I miss that. You guys have been all I've got so many times.
I'm sorry I didn't see this thread sooner!! Love you sis, you're a smart inspiring lady

Awww, I love you too sis

I'm not easily adaptable to change , so I'm hoping I get the hang of it here

I am so glad this thread has popped back up !

I don't know all the answers or how things will change.... but I am going to just revert back to the way I was here in the past when this lil forum on the world wide web was a life saver and taught me so many things.. I will be kind and supportive but I can't and won't play the " take your meds" mentality .. If I see a thread that bothers me I will take responsibilty for myself and not read it or follow it. Simple solution !

If I feel I have something to say in a thread I will , again I will be supportive and not mean in anyway but I will give my opinion or advice .. If an OP gets upset I am sorry .. I want and need my safe place back !!

Anyone with me ?

I've been already taking initiative into doing this!! I'm trying to post on people's threads & be supportive... Be MYSELF. Might even start one should I keep up the motivation! And I just skim right over anything funky or that looks already concluded.

This place has gotten a lot more traffic than it used to, so it's hard to keep up. But I'm going to try to stick to it. I want all of us involved, & the other oldies who are somewhere out there, to feel a better sense of belonging. These forums aren't just a place for Q & A -- they're a place to identify with other people, diagnosis regardless!

yeah, let's take the board back to what it was. An open dialogue for ideas and things out of mainstream (and lusting for random celebs and various often morbid jokes).

I have mixed feelings about this thread.

As a member who's been here less than two years, I fear that some of the things said in here may put off some of the other newer people......as if we aren't pulling our weight around here, or if we're the ones doing all the "whining". Frankly, I feel a little put off, because I've been around long enough to miss some of the folks who have drifted away (Coco, Moremi, Hamster etc.) and I don't want to feel that anything I personally have said or done helped drive them off. No offense, I just feel that there is a cliquishness among some of the members and the rest of us are merely tolerated.

OTOH, I realize that this is Trippin's thread and she can say anything she wants to.....this isn't about anyone else's feelings, opinions etc. And I like the new, fun threads as well. 'Nuff said, by me anyway.

BPN, I'm sorry you feel a bit putt off, and I appreciate your input

I've heard members make that comment before, about the supposed cliquishness, and I see how that comes across to people. Truth is, there is no clique, but a few of us have regular contact with members outside of PC, and not as a group.

Take me for instance, I consider Chris, Anika, Roadie, Blue and Faerie family, yet I have contact via FB with Chris, Blue, Moremi and Red Panda.

So while I can see how some of us may be interpreted as a clique, its not really an accurate description.

It is nice to know that my pack has my back though Ahoooooo!

Thanks for your response