black

I only have one appointment left that insurance will pay for and that's taken by my pdoc right now. I do have a T, yes. But i won't see her until the beginning of the year.

Suppose I should take today for the little fun that it is. We're going to go out to eat so that will be fun. He mentioned the mexican place. Maybe I'll try something different. Maybe not.

That'll be cool, definitely enjoy your friend. Have you tried chile relleno? Thats my fav. Go have a good day (((big squeezy sqishy)))

This is one of my favorite recordings. Its relaxing. The soloist is a man. Yes, a man. Give a listen. Its soothing and amazing at the same time.

We're still at the coffee shop so I'm still posting. Dunno when we'll leave here. Maybe an hour?

http://bipolarhallucidations.blogspo...xiety-bad.html

Going out to eat now. YUMM..................

(((((((( Moose ))))))))

Thanks fuzzybear.

We ate dinner. Way too much bbq. Now at a coffee shop (again). That's all he likes to do- play on the computer at coffee shops. Its getting dark. It basically is dark, now. I had a beer at dinner. Having a coffee now. Decaf. I'm kinda close to home but my car isn't. We have to go back and get it.

I just can't get into facebook anymore. Its so annoying. Superficial. Stupid things. Photos that are supposed to be cute. People reminding me how much my life sux.

Deletedd

The anxiety is still here.............When we leave here, we get me back to my car, then i drive home and then its night again. Me and night and my room- again....... hate this! Maybe its just going to be there forever??? I feel like my life ammounts to nothing and never will. Day after day after day.....round and round and round. People are after me. After me. Coming to get me. From every direction. They are going to get me. I must hide. I must run. But where?How? They will be tapping at my window like the aliens did that day many years ago on the windows at the balcony. Tap... tap... tap... Maybe everybody is an alien and I just can't tell. Even my friend that took me out to dinner. He's the worst of all because I can't tell.

Moose, breathe gf, this is illness and anxiety. Where are you now?

I'M AT A COFFEE SHOP. I need to be shut off.

I want to go to bed but I can't stand the thought of being in my bedroom. There is nothing comforting about the night - about the dark. I hate it.

Wasnt sure if you were at your car. Whats yourfriend doing that might be scaring you?

Gotta cook brb

He's just sitting there on his laptop. I just said he might be an alien and I wouldn't know it. I'm not at my car. Its parked elsewhere. I have to be taken to it before I can go home. Blarg. Anybody could be an alien. They could be standing at the windows tapping slowly like they did years ago.

I feel tired but awake. Anxious, anxious, anxious, anxious, anxious..............

Pots and pans. Willow trees and opossums. Dinosaur butts. Anything to not sleep tonight. I can't go to my bed! No no no no no no! Are there all-night movies anymore? Starbucks? I should drink coffee all night.

I'm so sad.... and anxious.... and ramped up......

Maybe you've had too much coffee? What did your friend say about being an alien? Would you b comfortable staying at his place on the couch or something? Or do you have kids coming home?

I'm sorry you're starting to feel sad

No kids. He wouldnt let me stay over. I didnt tell him hes an alien of course!

Haha I thought you said you did. I hate the thought of you being by yourself. Anybody else you could call?