black

Moose, I definitely feel like you dont sound safe, why dont you go on and pack a bag and go to the hospital. Dont even bother with the er. That will give you a chance to shut off from life at home for a while,give you a chance to go away to a safe place. You need to be in a safe place right now.

I dont think it works that way. They have an order f things. Hospitals to go to. When. Im sorry my brain is baf.

Oh didnt see the part where you didnt want to go. So can you just chat for a while then? What are the golden girls getting up to?

Oh. I just showed up to my hospital, they did intake and off I went to the floor. I called first to see if they had a bed though.

The golden girls are over. Now ER show.

I hate these kind of threads, I am so worried right now! Stay safe Moose!! I haven't been here long, but I enjoy your posts and your blog.....

I guess i could call psych er but if they want me to come in...

Thank you. You know i just want to be numb. Sigh

My friend is texting asking how i am.

Why dont you see if your friend will stay over til the morning and see how you are then?

He wont. Its complicated.

I honestly understand, last week I was having obsessive intrusive thoughts that I couldnt stop and even though I didnt want ME to be gone I wanted the thoughts to be gone. I wanted to flip the off switch. I was having trouble figuring out how to do that and finally figured the hospital could at least get me out of the environment and maybe give me something to make the thoughts stop. Thankfully they have lessened on their own, how I am not totally sure. Maybe all that sleep? But I am a lightweight kl knocks me out. Thats why I suggest the hospital.

Darn that sucks

He wants me to come over. My kids arent in bed. Nt just leave. Its not the weekend.

Wasnt necessarily meaning cuddles in bed (wink) though that would probably feel best about now. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It will get better. Thats how this illness works, it pulls us round and round. Up and down and back again and gives us little bits of good times to catch our breaths. We just have to hang on til the bipolarcoaster comes back into the station.

Your mom is at the house cant she stay with them one night?

Emomom i should remember that. The station.

I fixed my youngests bed and now feel anxious.

Have you already tried taking one of your ativans? Could you make some tea or cocoa and listen to some music or something to try and relax? Or do you need to wait til the other kids are in bed?

I havent taken anything yet. Kids are in their rooms but its an hour until bedtime.

You could tell them early bedtime tonight, mom doesnt feel good, so you could try and go to bed too.

What if i took ativan and benedryl but no alcohol?

Oh my mother would tell me how much i didnt not feel well and the kids would refuse. Im just watching tv until 930....

I guess im grumpy tonight

go back to the hospital if you need to moose. nights can be long. have smoeone lock up the ativan and the benadryl.