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#1
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If you have had the opportunity to or if you were to have an opportunity to, would you read your doctor's notes on your sessions?
I did this about a year ago. Very triggering. Very interesting to see how an outsider interprets what I said. It also angered me because she accused me of lying about a few things that I know I had not lied about. It was also cool to see where I started and how I have progressed. If I could go back in time I would NOT read them again though.
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The universe is a symphony of strings, and the mind of God that Einstein eloquently wrote about for thirty years would be cosmic music resonating through eleven-dimensional hyper space. Michio Kaku Truth is treason in the empire of lies. -Dr. Ron Paul |
#2
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Hmm that's an interesting question. My initial impulse would be to read them since I am a curious person.
However, I don't think I would actually go through with it since I believe that information should stay private ( I sort of think of it as the doctor's diary). Honestly, if the doctor and I had a good relationship and I was making progress, I wouldn't give a rip what he wrote about me. Everyone analyzes people in different ways. If the psychiatrist ways good, I would have no desire to read his notes. If the doctor rubbed me in the wrong way, then I would read his notes simply as an effort to validate my negative feelings of him.
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We are not our minds. Living is victory. |
#3
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The notes were in my possession because I was separating. Otherwise I probably would not have had access to them. They sat there on my kitchen table staring at me! . My curiosity got the best of me. I did like that doc. A lot. But reading about the inane things I did were not good!
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The universe is a symphony of strings, and the mind of God that Einstein eloquently wrote about for thirty years would be cosmic music resonating through eleven-dimensional hyper space. Michio Kaku Truth is treason in the empire of lies. -Dr. Ron Paul |
![]() steelfang
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#4
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I plan to get all my p doc records when I move. I don't plan to get my therapy records. I feel I have to find out what meds I have been on and my reactions. I also want to have them in hand at intake. I may not read current p doc records but I will have them. Another option would be switching notes where I read my husband's and he reads mine.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
#5
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Right now I just have a counselor, he doesn't take many notes but somehow remembers all of our conversations and my situation. Still though, what notes he has taken?... I don't think I would. Like you said, it would most likely be very triggering to me. I've worked through so much with him, re evaluating old issues would probably really hurt me.
So...you're braver than I am, lol.
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"An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind."
Mahatma Gandhi |
#6
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I disliked my therapist so I probably would have read them to reenforce my dislike of her when I quit going. She tried to add my on linkedin and I laughed since we did not part of the best of terms. I am an incredibly curious person and I doubt I could help myself if I had the opportunity.
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Perhaps the phoenix cried while it burned. - Charles Williams ---Token 451--- |
#7
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My therapist doesn't take notes which I always found as odd during our sessions. I've read my record from hospitalizations and they weren't pretty. My pdoc would probably show me mine if I asked since he's very open, but I rather not read it. My records are terrible and it makes me sad how all information will always remain there.
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"Unable are the Loved to die For Love is Immortality" -Emily Dickinson |
#8
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i've not read them, no.
would i? hm.... if it meant clarification of what was actually being written down, and what was important, maybe- but also maybe not because i'm so used to being hurt by peole, and i wouldn't want them to say something i never said to begin with, or not being taken as serious as it should be |
#9
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I would probably read mine. I'm nosey. I used to work in a mental health office and when patients asked for records we were not allowed to provide personal notes by the therapist. The state may have changed the laws by now but then you didn't get the full file.
Mine doesn't take notes either, so I doubt there would be anything to read, but I would if there were any.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha ![]() |
#10
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no, I would have no interest in reading t or pdoc notes
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#11
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I happened to see the notes from my last two psych er visits. Very interesting. Talked abiut my thinking people were aliens.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
#12
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Quote:
Wow. Having just left my pdoc for a new one, it would be interesting to read the former one's notes. But, I probably would also be upset by her "views" on things I said. How were u able to do that? Did u request your records? |
#13
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Do not believe I would... get irritated way too easily
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#14
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I got my old PDoc records from before I met my current PDoc and T. (So my T could look at my lengthy history) It was horrid! Diagnosis's that I never knew of and their views on whatever crisis I was enduring at the time, tore me up. I talked to my current T about it and she said she wished I had waited and gone through them with her so that she could have kept me from becoming so upset. Now, I'm ok with what I read, but honestly, I'll never do something like that alone again.
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*********************************************************** I wish I was a better elephant. |
#15
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I really would like to read my pdoc's notes to find out what he really thinks about me. He acts really kind to me when I see him, but sometimes I wonder if he actually really hates me. It would be nice to know.
I don't care about my former therapy notes, though; most of the therapists I had were quacks who didn't know what they were doing, so their notes wouldn't mean anything anyway.
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I dwell in possibility-Emily Dickinson Check out my blog on equality for those with mental health issues (updated 12/4/15) http://phoenixesrisingtogether.blogspot.com ![]() |
#16
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The only oppertunity I ever got to do something like this was when my T wrote a letter for disabilty reasons. I read the letter. I'm just to curious not to. However, it made me see myself in a different light. I guess I never realized how messed up I was at that point. It made me take therapy more seriously. But that's just me. I don't ever see my T take notes during sessions but I'm pretty sure she does it after I leave. If I had the chance I know I would read them. I'm just to nosey not too... lol
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#17
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Yep sure if I wanted too .. My T and Pdoc are fine with it if I wanted too.
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
#18
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I personally wouldn't want to as I think it would trigger me and set me back. I have access to my records at my support service and from Drama Therapy but I don't want to know. Maybe when I leave their services
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#19
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My pdoc takes copious notes during sessions and sometimes I want to know what he's writing about me. But it's probably just as well that I don't know because I may not want to see myself through his eyes.
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DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
#20
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Yes I have read my complete file !!! When I went through my horrible divorce my ex tried to use my bipolar against me, So my atty, had my records release to the court, It was kinda FUNNY what he did not know, is my ex was horrible person for a long long long time and I talked about him a lot!!!!!!!! with my psych. My psych reference all the horrible things he done over the past years, which he felt caused most of my depression and moods etc. I wish I could of been there, seeing his atty, or him reading that file, my atty loved it.
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#21
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I did request my hospital file about a couple of years after an admission. It helped me recall that part of my life as I was hospitalised for about 5 months when I was 21.
I do always make sure I have a copy of my latest discharge summary in my first aid box for my carer and I make sure my GP has it just in case I have any immediate problems post discharge. I think it's my health record so I should have it if I need it. My pdoc enters into a computer while I'm there. They are my professional support team and I need to be informed. I also know mistakes and assumptions are easily made by doctors nurses and psychologists so I have to be aware and protect myself. |
#22
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When I filled for ssdi I got copies of all my records. For the most part they were kinda boring lol. And I balked at how much money I was paying my pdoc who rarely had a varying note in my 6 year file. The disability assessment notes were more interesting. My inpatient release notes were depressing bc I was given a bad prognosis for returning to a household with my husband's drinking. So, I guess curiosity can be a bad thing. I don't want the reading to become a self fullfiling prophecy.
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#23
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I did once. When I moved, the old files were sent, and I asked my new psych if I could read them. Sure. I wasn't with the old one very long, so there wasn't much to read, but I do remember laughing at one point. Can't remember why.
Current notes would be MUCH more interesting (and voluminous!), as she's really seen me though some turbulent years. I'm sure she'd let me read them if I asked. Would I want to? Hmm, yeah, I think I would. It'd be good to be in the right frame of mind for it though. Now you've got me thinking… ![]() |
#24
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I did
![]() I found her recording details of my appearance off putting at first, but realized it was directly tied to my mental state, mood, episode, so it was relevant afterall, and ceased to bug me. I'm going back in January, and will definitly be checking my T notes at each appointment. For me, yes it started out as curiousity, but I also want to make sure that they are getting an accurate image of me, and thus recording accurate accounts of my appointments....
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