How to learn to forgive yourself?

Stumbled upon this quote tdy:
“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

I am having a difficult time forgiving myself for all the pain that I put my family through. I cant forgive myself for all the debts that I have chalked up, for being unemployed, for cooping myself up at home and refusing to get help, for ignoring all my friends' msgs and calls.

I honestly hate the person I have become. I see the old photographs of the old happy me and I feel like she is mocking me. I know I need to forgive myself to move on, but I am really struggling.

Can someone please help me.

The only thing that I can suggest is look back and think about what exactly had changed. Is it something that you can change back? Is it something you have to a accept? I know that the serenity prayer helps some with this. I'm not particularly a religious person so I prefer my mantra which is "I'm a human I make mistakes. It's my choice if I learn from those and grow. But no matter what I must accept that I can't go back and change those mistakes." We as humans make mistakes all the time. It's part of what makes us humans. Now that being said being the person you are (be it bipolar or not) you need to accept you first and foremost. You cannot change a zebras stripes nor a leopards spots. Having an illness or disease is part of what makes you you. You can learn to change your thinking (another aspect of humanity) so that your "mistakes"don't interfere wroth your life.
I know not everyone will agree but mistakes can be good or bad. It's all in how you look at them. I hope this helps you.

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Thanks tigersassy.
I think my attitude to life changed when the depression started. I lost the motivation to live; I think I just ran from my life and all my problems.
I'm guessing once I've forgiven myself of all the mistakes I've made, I will be able to find inner peace and the confidence to face my problems head-on and mitigate the damage from my mistakes. Maybe then I will be closer to who I used to be.

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Maybe. It's worth the shot right?

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Mostly yes, but i find myself changing my mind all the time. Somedays I struggle to even get out of my bed. It's like enough damage is done and there's no way back. I wish I can be more courageous.

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I know the feeling. I've been right where you are. To help me I used to write self affirmations on all of the mirrors in my home. They were put there in dry erase makers for me that was important because if I wanted to erase it I could. I had to have the courage to believe that it being there wasn't a bad thing. That it being there was a way to help me. When I get in depressions now I still do that. It helps to renew that tiny flicker of hope that keeps my head above the crashing waters that try to down me. It might help you to do something similar. But inside I know you have the courage you just have to figure out how to get in touch with it.
As far as the getting out of bed. I had to have someone hold me accountable. They started our with small things like taking a shower or eating a healthy meal. Then it got harder going out to do something with her (not really around people we went hiking) or exercising for a few mins then increasing the time. You have to find something/someone to drive you to get up and get the good thoughts cooking.
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We are all human so we make mistakes. Cut yourself some slack and be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to be sick (it is an illness) and time to recover.
I believe that ultimately it's God that needs to forgive, not us or anybody else and he has already done that. So take heart in that.
My life changed forever when I stopped beating myself up over every "mistake". It took a lot of therapy to get to that point but I think that had as much of an effect on my mood as all the meds I take.

In terms of facing your problems, getting out of bed in the morning is just that, facing your problems. When I am depressed I expect myself to behave as if I am not but cutting myself some slack and understanding that I am doing the best I can today helps.

I think that working on your healing as you are doing is working on forgiving yourself. My thoughts feel all over the place so hang in there with me if you can... You say that you need to forgive yourself in order to face your problems but I think that you can face your problems first and that can be a step toward forgiving yourself. Perhaps as you get better you will give yourself some sympathy and understanding in terms of how you did do your best then even if it involved hurting others. Basically like others have said you would be able to give yourself a break for doing the things you did before by knowing it was the best you could do at that level of your healing.

I too feel/have felt really bad about who I have been. Now that I am more on the road toward healing I can look back some and think "wow those years before were so hard for me. I messed up. I let folks down. I can't change that I can only hope to use the time I do have to be healthy and make better choices for myself and those I love" As I accept my illness more I can accept that I didn't do all that stuff because I am some terrible person, it's because I needed help, doctors and healing. Hope that made sense and was helpful

manymiles, I think you were right in saying that facing my problems can help me in forgiving myself.

My family has been trying to get me to go to the doctor but I have been procrastinating for the past 7 weeks, which added to my anxiety and shame towards them. Today I managed to step outta my house for the first time in 7 weeks - went to see the doctor at the polyclinic to get a referral letter for a psychiatric consultation at the hospital and to get hydroxyzine for my insomnia.

I felt crappy for the entire time; avoided eye contact with everybody. I don't know why I don't feel particularly elated at the progress, but I am just glad that I have something to answer to my family. At least I am moving forward bit by bit.

OMG that is huge! Congrats on doing all of that. Wow. I really mean that and am not blowing sunshine (talking mess). That is HUGE.

I know that sometimes it is difficult to see how much we have done when we are depressed because we are expecting ourselves to behave as if we are not. Feeling the way you do, struggling with what you are struggling with you did all of that. Even if you were not struggling with depression, you did A LOT today.

I am happy for you and really amazed that anyone can do so much in one day. Leaving the house after 7 weeks and then to a doctor too. You did all that feeling like crap as well. Really that was huge. I hope you take the time to celebrate your accomplishments.