[mal_123]

It seems like everything is so complicated right now and I cannot seem to figure out how to fix it due to multiple tried and failed attempts. I am 14, alright. I have food, a home, and people who love me. But there is sadness lying beneath the soil of the diverse garden that is me. These things interrupt my daily life. To start out I would like to say that my parents and I have ongoing conflict about the fact in which I am possibly Bipolar. I have all of the symptoms and it's quite evident that I am... It is not only due to hormones and they simply magnify my possible disorder. My parents refuse to take me to the doctor for any help and ignore my pleas. They exclaim that it is simply hormones and that all teenagers become MANIC and DEPRESSED. I have been Manic twice that I know of and I had a mad period of depression this summer mixed with mania. It was crazy and got me into trouble... they believe that I am doing this all for attention and that I need to "stop over-analyzing and dramatizing the situation" because they have dealt with problems all of their lives. I need help and no one will help me... in fact, I believe that I am falling into depression once more, perhaps a more mild case and I was hypomanic most all week. ; additional info, I smacked a girl in school yesterday because she said one thing to me and I tried to punch a girl the past two days at school. it felt out of my control and i just started laughing randomly afterwards)
Do you believe it is "just hormones" or something more.
By the way, my biological father whom I do not know is bipolar and so is my cousin on my mother's side of the family. She even said that I probably have it and my parents still refuse me help and tell me to "just control myself." and, "that's a load of crap, you can control it!"... I seem like and ungrateful brat, yeah. I also seem like I am trying too hard to have correct grammatical etiquette! Just ignore it. I do not speak in this way in real life. And I am not "high-class" due to my speech as one would assume.
Do you have an advice and/or opinions on my matter? On behalf of this subject would you please be willing to provide some sort of information on my behalf? Thank you.

[IndieVisible]

Parents don't want to admit their children may have problems, that is all too common. I've had problems for as long as I can remember, and I worry my kids may inherit some of that. Already I see my son is hyperactive and other signs of ADHD. I've talked about it with his mom, she insists it's a normal boy behavior for his age. My daughter is the opposite, very reserved, creative, artistic, and smart! But some times she seems to zone out or gets depressed. The problem is it really is harder to diagnose children.

As for bipolar, you say you have all the symptoms. That's fine, but how many of those symptoms can also fit being a teenager. See the problem? This is another reason why pdocs hold off a diagnoses for teens. As long as you are not suicidal don't over worry. What you might want to do is find a good excuse to see your family doctor. Upset stomach, some thing. And once you see your doc tell him your concerns. At the very least he will be aware of what to watch for. Hang in there! Every thing will work out!

[Samanthagreene]

I too had trouble with parents refusing to accept my struggles. I even told my mom I was suicidal and she told me to stop self-diagnosing. I hated that everyone doubted what I knew without any doubt was true. We can't diagnose you here, but the only thing that really matters is that you are worried. Even if you do not have a diagnosable illness, if it's bothering you, it's important.
In general, I would say feeling suicidal for any longish length of time is not normal and needs treatment, as does self-injury. On the other side, any delusions or hallucinations are not normal. Hang in there.

[BNLsMOM]

I agree that next time you go to your doctor that you should talk about your concerns. Also is there a school counselor or teacher you trust that you could talk to?

[mal_123]

Originally Posted by BNLsMOM

I agree that next time you go to your doctor that you should talk about your concerns. Also is there a school counselor or teacher you trust that you could talk to?

I talked to the school counselor, she suggested that I ask my parents to go to the family doctor and so I did.... I got into huge trouble and ended up where I am now. My mother and father refuse to say that there is anything wrong with me at all... they said once more that I am just a teenager trying to find her place and that all of these symptoms are totally normal... yeah. No.

[mal_123]

Here are all of my symptoms; an excerpt from a website I once asked this Q on:

I am a 14 1/2 year old girl. Yes- you'll say its just my hormones raging. But I am not sure. Anyways, over the summer some things really began kicking in. I started randomly talking to this 17 year old Guy online from FRANCE and without anyone's consent was going to get a job at MCDONALD'S to go to France and meet this Guy who could be a pedophile for all I know. This went on for about two months and then I quit the idea. Also, I was majorly depressed on and off. I was having suicidal thoughts although I knew I'd never actually perform the acts! I could hardly get our of bed and I didn't leave my room half of the time. It was bad. I also rage- and its bad. I have triggers, like someone saying ONE little thing wrong or annoying me- I BLOW up and I black out, begin hitting my victim or anything near it and then, once I come back to reality I feel extremely guilty and I apologize about a million times. I get VERY VERY angry but I NEVER hold onto it. I am not a violent person by nature whatsoever and am very forgiving. But this is something I cannot control. Also, whenever I am speaking on a subject that matters to me or I feel like I have to be right in, I begin bashing everyone who disagrees and go into anxiety like attacks. The other day in class I had to ask to leave because I was uncontrollably calling everyone stupid and naive and I began rocking back and forth in my chair, holding my head and shaking very much. I was also crying. And then afterwards, I feel completely guilty. This is all out of my control or I wouldn't do it and it happens a lot. Right now I am slightly depressed. And I dread school everyday to the point of worrying about it the night before and on the weekends. I also have very rapid thoughts which cause me to yell and fight back and forth with myself. I developed a habit of pinching, hitting or smacking myself everytime I do something immoral. Also, last night although being quite sad, I was extremely hyper and tired at my cousins band concert and alternated between lying down in the chairs to bouncing up and down. I was laughing at every little thing and I absolutley could not sit still. Also, I am very tired all of the time. I can't focus on anything for long and although I am a pretty good student, never do my school work in or out of school. I'm very impatient and irritable also. I have trouble figuring out whether a thought is mine of just another crazy idea I have in my head. I get very over-involved and ambitious about my ideas and then suddenly lose interest in them. There's quite a bit more and sorry that was all over the place. I told my mom I need to go to the doctor but she says I can just control it. But I cannot. Also, my biological father whom I've met twice because of being abusive to my mom while pregnant with me is bipolar and so is my cousin (mild). This is stressful.
Oh yes, I also get extremely hyper and extremely fatigued/depressed at the same time. I have experienced this last night and all day today.

Forgot to mention- I went through these times when I was acting the complete opposite of my true self and my mom stated that she "didn't even know me anymore" it was very rapid. I was dressing sexually, trying to do crazy things, becoming interested in intense partying and to me- things that are immoral and evil. I would pretend to be high all the time and now I'm just all of a sudden back to my 'normal' self. It was so horrible and oh my goodness I hate even going back to those memories. I am horrid. I also sometimes have sexually intrusive thoughts and I'm not like that at all.... it goes against what I believe in.

More information:
I have bursts of positive energy frequently and especially when I am introduced with a new and enticing opportunity or a new idea is sparked within my mind. I take advantage of it all and go severely too far with anything I can get a hold of. I do have temporary states of depression- like I said. I fall in and out of it. I also become extremely hyper and extremely fatigued at times. I have been experiencing that for the last two days. I am fatigued excessively yet I still have boat-loads of energy. And then I just sit down and nearly fall asleep. I have taken several screening tests online indicating that I may have mild-severe Bipolar. And like I said, my biological father has it. And so does my cousin. Its on both sides of the family.

This is just extremely overwhelming. What do I do. I cannot show up to school tomorrow another day. No one understands I nor my symptoms and everyone plays it off as either hormones, exaggeration, or falsehood. I am so DONE.


UPDATE:

Symptoms that have been found in me:
-obsessive thoughts
-obsessions with researching certain topics/interest in things; then lose interest after a bit
-In and out of depression (bad episode over the summer)
-Sudden hyper-active moods
-extreme rage
-extreme violent actions (cannot control either of these; extreme guilt afterwards)
-Irritability
-Anxiety attacks
-Inflated ego when speaking on behalf of things (always think I am right?)
-Become overly involved with new ideas and jump at new opportunities but become obsessed and overly active in the event, cannot focus on anything but this idea/opportunity
-Frequent anything goes attitude
-Extremely slow to answer questions
-memory loss
-fatigue
-constant eating
-over the summer I was extremely interested in sex now I am disinterested for the most part
-I feel as if ghosts are around me and have to look all around me when in the dark to make sure I do not see anything
-over the summer while depressed I had extremely low self-esteem and now I am confident
-compulsive lying over silly things
-grades have dropped
-feeling of bugs crawling all over me and sometimes I see white things floating in the air when I stare for a minute
-sometimes inspired, optimistic, creative
-other times negative, pessimistic, stubborn

I have also experienced two episodes in my lifetime, looking back now that could be considered manic.

I also believe that I am either falling into mania and/or depression once more right now.

[mal_123]

Also, I get obsessed with things and ideas and try to carry insane, over the top plans out.

Such as last week, I became OBSESSED with trying to become Amish. No one or nothing was going to stop me. I was going online and searching everything I could about it 24/7 and was going to GO an hour away to Amish Country and join them. I was so confident and then I suddenly lost interest. This has happened before and these are things that can get me into HUGE trouble and lead to disappointment because I become to intent and determined to carry out my idea that appeared.

[Samanthagreene]

These things are clearly disturbing you, which means they should probably be treated. Can you talk to a school counselor without telling your parents? Or maybe just a really good friend? Or even here, if it helps. Remember, we can't diagnose you; we can just offer support. Also keep in mind that cases of bipolar in teens are very hard to diagnose anyway, so even if you get your parents on your side, you might not get a diagnoses right off.
Also, would your parents be willing to let you do therapy? Many teens with or without mental illnesses see therapists. I'm not sure if that would work, but if you remove what right now is self diagnoses, they might be more willing to help.