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#1
Jan 04, 2014, 03:02 PM
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....God damned live wire.
I just got off the phone with my brother. He had a fabulous vacation and all I could do was say "cool" and "great". My brother is so damn calm. It's like he's always on downers of something. He's smart. He's funny. Everyone likes him. I'm a damned exposed nerve. I'm at the same time in a funk and ready to fight at a moments notice. I have few friends, and those are all women..... Who I'm not sleeping with. I am constantly misunderstood and am always pissing people off. Ugh. I love my brother, I just wish I was more like him. Please don't think that I in anyway disparaging my brother. I just wish I was more like him. :-/
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“If you are a dreamer come in If you are a dreamer a wisher a liar A hoper a pray-er a magic-bean-buyer If youre a pretender com sit by my fire For we have some flax golden tales to spin Come in! Come in!” Shel Silverstein |
 BipolaRNurse, couldntkelpit, Victoria'smom
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#2
Jan 04, 2014, 03:39 PM
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I was having similar thoughts 2 days ago, except its my bf who's got this cool calm and collected demeanor. I always admire his poker face. Wish I could be more like him instead of Zeus's lightning bolts personified!
 I get it
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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#3
Jan 04, 2014, 03:59 PM
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My husband is one of those guys who never loses his cool, and believe me I've tried pushing all the buttons. It's tough, cause like you, I'd love to have that easy going lovable personality. Maybe one day I will be, but he says he likes the fiery me because I can say things he would love to, but won't. Maybe there's trade offs for everything.
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#4
Jan 04, 2014, 05:56 PM
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My brother is so calm cool collected ..he has 3 boys all 1 year apart , teenagers now
 But he just rolls with the punches doesn't get up or down works loads of overtime but finds time for family.We both grew up in the same home same parents same rules same everything .. I am the Bp'er that can cry as the drop of a hat or go manic and internalize everything and self harm .. Hard to imagine such polar opposites . I hear ya 
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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#5
Jan 04, 2014, 07:27 PM
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My sister is like that---calm, cool, and collected, a lady, somewhat melancholy more or less all the time but bears it patiently. Me, I'm loud, profane, and sloppy---a firecracker with wild mood swings and a lot of passion for whatever I'm into at a given time. Who could believe that we grew up in the same house with the same parents?
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DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
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#6
Jan 04, 2014, 07:56 PM
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Quote:
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#7
Jan 04, 2014, 07:58 PM
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No way my brother wishes he were me. I'm not more interesting. Not by a long shot
__________________
“If you are a dreamer come in If you are a dreamer a wisher a liar A hoper a pray-er a magic-bean-buyer If youre a pretender com sit by my fire For we have some flax golden tales to spin Come in! Come in!” Shel Silverstein |
| couldntkelpit
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#8
Jan 05, 2014, 08:33 AM
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Quote:
so you started this by saying you feel like? ..and ... I skipped the middle bit... (you wish you were more like your brother) you feel massively insecure I admit to you.. ..can you admit to me the exact same thing? ...can you follow me down this path of reality? ...I realise you have an extensive album of terrible! and you expressed this and now it's time to shake it! you have abilities...you have your own reality...! it's time to remove the realities of others and replace them with your own brother! your heart is too big for this life.... why take others pain...and blame yourself ?... you have a living gift inside you brother.... nothing is your fault... so I will complete your introduction... "I feel like I know exactly what I am doing now....it's me...I am me I am mine life is me and life is mine" |
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