[Victoria'smom]

So I told pdoc and T that I would take my meds until I got home from all the family crap. I did I want off everything ASAP. I already removed baclophen . I didn't set up an appointment for pdoc before I left. I came home and set up an appointment. I asked for afternoon to be told they can't do afternoon because my file says "first appointment possible". So now I go Wednesday at 8 am. There is no way I am going to be able to interact that early. I'm sleeping a good 14+ hours. So 8 am is unrealistic. I want off medication but it doesn't sound like he'll be for that. Plus he's moving .

Any ideas how to convince him to start a decrease schedule? I want out of the mental health system. Which also means weaning off therapy slowly. Hopefully without anyone noticing.

I'm so done with trying to get help when nothing ever changes anyway. I'm not bipolar I'm just. ****** up. I'm really doubting medication is needed. How do I bring this up again?

Can they put me in crisis care just for wanting out of the mental health system?

[Marshellette]

Well you could place a pot of coffee next to your bed and have that be the first thing that you reach for in the morning. I know from personal experience how much my meds can make me oversleep. I do not hear people moving furniture in my house if I'm asleep. So reach for the coffee to get yourself going on the day of your appt.

[kaliope]

well you admit you are messed up so obviously something is wrong, but it sounds like your current course of therapy and meds isn't treating it correctly. obviously your treatment providers aren't listening to your needs. things are likely to get worse if you get out of they system. you need to find someone who is going to take the time to listen to you and treat your symptoms, not try to medicate you to death. check around and see if you can find someone who will really address your needs. take care.

[pink&grey]

Why don't you want meds?

[wildflowerchild25]

I mean, you ARE an adult. No one can force you into care unless you are a risk to yourself or others or psychotic. So no, they can't force you to participate in treatment. But I would take a step back and think if it really is the best move. I understand ghat you are frustrated because nothing ever changes so why bother? But I know you have a son. A son who has his own issues. And I'll just be honest. My mother was/sti is mentally ill - at least depression, maybe bipolar or borderline, but I'll never know because she never got treatment. My mom neglected us as children emotionally because she was too depressed or angry to get out of bed. It took me many years to forgive her and I still get upset with her erratic mood shifts.

I have a son too and I could never forgive myself if I didn't do everything I could to build a better life for him. For me that means taking a med that I really don't want to take and seeing a doctor even though I hate them. Because even if I'm still screwed up at the end of the day, at least when he's an adult I can look him in the eyes and say I did the absolute very best I could.

That being said, it is always your choice to continue treatment. If you feel it is the best thing for you, then take a break and see how things go. It will be there if you ever decide to go back. Maybe not your current team, but someone will.

I hope you find peace with whatever you choose.

[Victoria'smom]

Marshellette- I will put soda near my bed that morning. ty

kaliope-My treatment team listens, and are the most caring set of Doctors I have ever met. I'm not over medicated I take 2 pills a night, 3 if I take my PRN. It's me I'm sick of drs., appointments, and everything that goes along with that.

P&G- Meds are hard for me to swallow I gag more than ones trying to force them down every night. Just thinking about taking pills makes me nauseous.

wildflowerchild25- Is there a way they can argue that I would be a danger without medication? I so don't understand why I should bother if nothing changes. At the same time I'm a hypocrite for my son taking 4 different mental health drugs. I'm pretty positive I neglect him emotionally but one day he will forgive me. If he can not he'll build a little family of his own and allow his dad to be part of his life. He's already scared of me anyways.
Why does building a better life for my son mean that I have to be part of the mental health care system?

[A Red Panda]

Because you want to be part of his life, and you want him to have the best life possible. I know that you don't want him to be scared of you - and if he's scared of you while you are on meds, then yes, those meds aren't working for you and you need a change in them. But going back to nothing, where you'll be even more sporadic, isn't going to help anyone. And it's kind of your job as a parent to provide your son with the best life you can - and going med-free isn't a good choice for that. It's your responsibility to take care of him, and that involves taking care of you.

I get not wanting to take meds or deal with the bulls***. But shouldn't you wait to make that decision until you've been stable for a long-time running? I know that recently you were having trouble following you and your H's procedures, and if you're struggling with that then think about how much more you are going to struggle without anything at all?

Your team needs to find meds that work, since these ones aren't helping you nearly enough. That's certain.

[Victoria'smom]

He never forgave me for my 3 month mixed episode in the late summer early fall. Which is up to him to resolve there's nothing I can do to help that. I should have gone IP then. shouldn't you wait to make that decision until you've been stable for a long-time running? when's that? I told pdoc and T i'd wait until i was home and i did. I don't feel that will ever happen and I dealt better with depression with no meds. I'm willing to accept that I maybe depressed for the last 6 months. I'm regretting even going for help. I didn't want meds in the first place.

The good news pdoc canceled until next month.