[Jcon614]

Wondering if anyone here could admit to a problem with alcohol. And how they feel it is impacting on them.

I went to rehab a year ago (before I was diagnosed with soft signs of bipolar).

I am drinking again, worse than before. My depression is so severe... I don't shower for days at a time. I am looking for answers in possibly a new pdoc, but I think I know that may be pointless. That being said, I do need a new pdoc, and this is very scary for me, but I have an appt next week.

Just wondering if anyone can relate. My life is awful. I only sleep 3 hours a night. Could this be the alcohol?

[BipolaRNurse]

I'm an alcoholic who had almost 22 years of sobriety in before I had a slip in late September. (It wasn't booze this time, it was pills, but the motive and the results were the same.)

I realize now that I was masking symptoms of both depression and mania with the alcohol. The trouble was, my problems were always there to greet me the next day.....drinking didn't make them go away.

I feel for you, I really do.

[Alokin]

My problem with alcohol, especially liquor, is that I cannot act right. Welcome to irrationality land.

[Jcon614]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

I'm an alcoholic who had almost 22 years of sobriety in before I had a slip in late September. (It wasn't booze this time, it was pills, but the motive and the results were the same.)

I realize now that I was masking symptoms of both depression and mania with the alcohol. The trouble was, my problems were always there to greet me the next day.....drinking didn't make them go away.

I feel for you, I really do.

My entire post was lost. That being said, I have never felt hypo or manic but deeply depressed. It is the same thing, I presume, just masking symptoms, which as u say are there to greet u the next morning. It is always there.

I used to have a problem with alcohol, and as much as I hate to say it - finding the right meds turned the drinking part of me off. I havent really wanted to drink since being on zeldox, and I hope I am never a heavy drinker again. In the midst of it all I never thought it was affecting me, but looking back it was - especially depression. My sleeping schedule was way out of whack so that severely impacted on my moods.

Its all too easy to say "stop drinking its doing you harm", I know it can be much harder than that.

[Jcon614]

Originally Posted by Supanova

I used to have a problem with alcohol, and as much as I hate to say it - finding the right meds turned the drinking part of me off. I havent really wanted to drink since being on zeldox, and I hope I am never a heavy drinker again. In the midst of it all I never thought it was affecting me, but looking back it was - especially depression. My sleeping schedule was way out of whack so that severely impacted on my moods.

Its all too easy to say "stop drinking its doing you harm", I know it can be much harder than that.

Yes, sleeping schedule is definitely out of whack. I only sleep 3 hours a night. I want more sleep. I do not feel rested.

[Confusedinomicon]

Maybe look into therapy that looks at childhood trauma and its effect on your current behaviors. Sometimes the drinking is done to cope with things/feelings when you aren't sure how you're supposed to deal with it. Its hard to apply healthy coping strategies when you haven't dealt with underlying stuff.

[Jcon614]

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

Maybe look into therapy that looks at childhood trauma and its effect on your current behaviors. Sometimes the drinking is done to cope with things/feelings when you aren't sure how you're supposed to deal with it. Its hard to apply healthy coping strategies when you haven't dealt with underlying stuff.

Honestly, I really think I have dealt with the childhood traumas. I think it is more the here and now that I am having trouble with, or purely I am just an alcoholic, which sounds more right.

[Confusedinomicon]

Then you dust yourself off and start looking for supportive networks that will get you engaged in your community.(or something since Im guessing you'd feel lonely) I think its hard to stay in recovery when you have no support outside of any intensive therapy/rehab you initially had.

If its a reflection of what's happening in your present life, then don't be afraid to advocate for yourself. I know its hard because of the depression but you can keep a topic up that discusses what you've done to get help and have the community give you feedback and support. We had a member with over 70+ pages on a topic about her divorce. Its not MI related per-say but does not mean we shouldn't support them.

[live2ski66]

I've struggled with alcohol. I go through phases where I drink and won't stop, to phases where I abuse alcohol, to periods where I go dry on my own for months. Lately I've noticed I'm not interested in drinking. But if I am slightly happy, I can easily finish the bottle of wine. It used to be I could drink like a fish. Not any more. I wake up miserable, body achy and not in tune with my brain.

[SickOfSadness]

I had a problem with alcohol, I was working at a bar. Drinking made me 'loosen up' and have a good time and make the job a bit easier. I have realized that it ended up making me more depressed in the long run & is a trigger for me to want to do drugs, which also makes the depression even worse.

Hang in there & see a therapist or pdoc..

I hope you feel better! :-)

Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk

[Curiosity77]

I have struggled with addictions as well as bipolar, and I think substance abuse is quite common in people with bipolar. I think the substance abuse was self medicating, because my bipolar went undiagnosed for many years. My teenage years were spent with mood cycling and doing every kind of drug. Then I quit drugs and really didn't drink much until I was 34 and went through a divorce. I went into a depression that turned into a mixed state, and I abused alcohol for a couple of months.. It was a very dark time. I went to hospital, and when I came out I stopped drinking and started the process of getting on medications. I'm still working on trying to get the meds right. Now I think alcohol would destabilze my mood, and also I think if my mood destabilizes I'm more likely to drink. I don't drink at all currently.

[Noodles_320]

You are not alone. I think alcohol and drugs go hand in hand with BP (for most). I think our use or non-use are affected by our mood state of BP. In my late teens I had the occasional drink, used weed and on occasions coke.

Got married at 21 and made the decision that in order to be a good and functioning husband I needed to eliminate the drugs from my life. I did not eliminate alcohol, I was an occasional drinker, beer or two before dinner, maybe a glass of wine. But I did not drink after dinner, just went about my regular routine. Often went periods of 6-8 months of not drinking. (I did that to prove to myself I did not need it)

I swore to myself I would never touch another drug in my life. Went drug free for 13 years. Started having problems with work and my marriage (looking back the problems were not with my work or my marriage), the problems were with me. I went 9 years being stable, mild mania and mild depression at times, but for the most part "normal."

I started that dreadful slide downhill to the place we have all been and turned to Coke because I thought it could bring me back and elevate me back to the place I was and had enjoyed for the past 9 years. I was doing so much coke I made Al Pacino in Scareface look like an amateur. Needless to say I bottomed out.

Been drug free for about four years, but my alcohol use has increased over the past four years from 1-2 drinks a night, to 4-5 drinks a night, to a few shots in the morning, a few shot at lunch and a few bottles of wine or a bottle of Bourbon at night. The past year has been a crazy ride...I can go 3-4 days without a drink, but when I decided to have a drink with dinner or friends it basically turns into a 2-3 day full on bender.

I think the hardest part is very similar to the the hardest part of BP and that is acceptance. I think you guys can all relate to this, the hardest part of my BP was accepting and admitting to myself that I am Bipolar. I fought it ever step of the way. Once I finally accepted and admitted to myself then began the road to dealing with my condition.

My latest bender lasted 3 days. I woke up the next morning and looked in the mirror and finally said to myself "Dude, you are an alcoholic." Oddly enough, it was a sigh of relief. Have not had a drink in 7 days and have really not had the desire.

Sorry for the long post but thought the background would help. In short alcohol and drugs can and are a huge problem for folks with BP. The most important first step is admitting this fact to ourselves.

This info is dated but provided me with some interesting spastics.

Bipolar Disorder and Alcoholism