[prettybear]

*this was also posted in the BPD forum

Hey, I've just joined this website (initially to use the mood tracker), and thought this forum could be of use.

Two weeks ago I was assessed by a psychiatrist after telling my GP that I suffer from depressions and anger/irritation. My GP put me on Wellbutrin until I could see the psychiatrist. My appointment with the psychiatrist was an hour long and by the end he told me that he thinks I have Bipolar II with borderline characteristics. He put me on a list for a BD therapy group but otherwise has offered no other counsel. He even said that my meds are probably not right for me (Wellbutrin can increase irritability) but we'll meet again in 2 months to discuss them. I asked if I should be seeing a psychologist and he said that if he called a doctor to refer me, saying he had a patient with BD with BPD characteristics, they'd "just laugh" (not even sure what this means).

I've realized since my assessment that I lied/omitted a lot of information that would support the BPD diagnosis. I didn't want to be judged, I guess. I told him I was impulsive sexually, but I didn't tell him that my life falls apart afterwards when the person I slept with doesn't "want me" past that experience. I also told him that the sex is always protected, which it isn't (I do get tested regularly, though). He seemed to think that because I'm not abusing drugs or alcohol that my impulsivity isn't that bad. I told him that I control how different people perceive me because I want to "cater" to what they want and expect, but he didn't seem to think that was significant. My mood swings on a daily basis and usually in reaction to something, like feeling rejected or ignored. I told him about a girl who used to be my friend but said some mean things about me and to me, so now I avoid her because I fear that when I see her I'll slap her (and the thought of doing so brings me great pleasure haha). Again he didn't seem to think this was that significant.

I don't know, I guess I just feel like he got like 60% of the picture. He also has offered no strategies for what to do. Actually, that's wrong, he said I should Google Bipolar II and learn about the condition (I've obviously done tons of this already). He said that if I feel like I'm getting worse or "something new" is happening I need to go back. I've been super, super depressed the last 24 hours and I've been fighting the urge to self-harm for these 24 hours. I've been in bed and trying to distract myself from these thoughts. This is in response to feeling like my friends are unreliable and dismissive (my friend told me Friday night that he can no longer move into my house on July 1st). I guess that's worse. I know I need to see him or another doctor and be fully honest, but maybe I'm actually fine? Does this sound like Bipolar II or do I have more that just "borderline characteristics"? I know this forum isn't for diagnosis, I just want some opinions, I guess,

Thanks!

[bluewave7]

I think it is odd that your Pdoc said you probably had bipolar and weren't on the right meds for that. Then he doesn't give you the right meds. And you don't see him for two months with possible bipolar? I would go to another pdoc and be totally hones so he/she can give you the help you need. So a proper diagnosis is given and you are put on the right meds. I'm not a dr and can't diagnose but I would get a 2nd opinion. I went to ten different pdocs and they all said I had bipolar but I didn't want to accept it. Now I'm on meds, go to therapy, and try to help others with BP. I had to accept it and it was hard for me. Good luck.

[intergalactictraveler]

prettybear,

Don't know where you are or if you have insurance but muster up the energy and hit the phone until you find another pdoc. Your current doctor sounds like a clown and I've gone through a slew of bozo pdocs in my many years. The last thing you need is a doctor who doesn't know spit from a hole in the ground. Some doctors are just lazy. They don't want to do the hard work with a challenging patient. Or, they're just plain incompetent. And when you get a new doctor, file a complaint against your previous one with your state's medical licensing board. That should tighten his sphincter.

[ultramar]

He seems to think you have both BPD and BP II but prescribed nothing for the BP and did not refer you to therapy for the BPD (and his comment on the referral is just incomprehensible).

I'd strongly suggest you find another pdoc, and this time be fully honest about what you're experiencing. What is precipitating the moods and behavior is going to play a big role in the diagnosis and treatment (which you shared here, but maybe didn't fully with the pdoc, though I can understand if you didn't feel comfortable being entirely forthcoming with this guy).

The important thing is that you get the right treatment and sharing all of this will be essential in receiving the treatment you need. I can understand that you're afraid of being judged, but pdocs are used to this and if you get a good one they shouldn't be judgmental at all. I'm sorry you got such a dud and hope you can find a good one soon. Good luck!

[prettybear]

Hey guys, thanks for your responses.

I'm located in Toronto. There's a research centre and hospital here called the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, and this is where I was assessed. This is supposed to be the best place for this type of thing and they have specific clinics for mood disorders, for example.

This doctor works specifically in the mood disorders clinic. CAMH is a network and he could have easily referred me a psychologist. Instead he just told me what he thought and said he'd see me in two months. From my understanding he was to send his notes to my GP, who is supposed to call me for a follow-up. That hasn't happened either. Basically I feel as though no one has taken me seriously and I'm on my own to figure out how to help myself. I've bought books and what not (I'm a pretty proactive person), but I can only do so much. Also I'm a bit miffed that the psychiatrist said I'm basically on the wrong meds but didn't prescribe anything different. I feel like these meds are doing nothing.

I guess my plan now is to call my GP and speak with him about seeing another doctor, as well as perhaps seeing the first psychiatrist again to be fully up front with him. I don't have insurance and psychiatrists and psychologists are pretty expensive (as I'm sure you all know!). Going through CAMH eliminates those expenses, which is why I feel like I should stick with him.

Thanks again for your input and understanding.

[EBD8]

Both are considered Mood Disorders. And the current trend is to treat them alike in a lot of ways. I would say for me personally since I'm bi-polar2 and maybe speak for other BP2's is that one big noticeable difference is the Sleep factor. That's what I would consider an important marker. Now I'm not psych doc so don't go on what I say. But if really want to get better, it's best to tell the truth and all of the truth. I didn't and it certainly cost me more than I could have ever imagined. And please don't live in denial about any of your behavior's. The best book I have ever read is Bi Polar 2 by Ronald Fieve. It sounded like he wrote that book specifically about my life. Here's wishing you all the best.

[bluemountains]

Wow, prettybear, it sounds like you have a jerk for a pdoc! Any dx should come with a plan to get better, even if it has to be tweaked several times. After my initial diagnosis, as well has other times that I have had episodes, my pdoc has seen me every couple of weeks until the meds become effective. Also, she likes for me to call between appointments to check it. My pdoc also considers therapy part of my treatment.
Since the place you are going has a great reputation, maybe there is another doctor you can see. Your gp might be able to arrange it for you.
Good luck!
Bluemountains

[krisakira]

Time for a different pdoc!

[swheaton]

Wellbutrin does increase irritability...you need another pdoc, and you really need to be open with what is happening to you! I'm bp2 as well. Keep coming here for guidance.

Hi there! What I've learned, after over four years of mixed experiences with the field of mental health, is that honesty always helps. Perhaps my diagnosis with bipolar disorder would have come more quickly if I had not been afraid to report things like racing thoughts, a psychotic episode, delusions, suicidal ideation, hypersexuality, etc. It would have saved me a lot of suffering, even though opening up to a psychologist and/or psychiatrist like that can be terrifying -- especially because not all mental health professionals are created "equal".

Wellbutrin triggered intense hypomania, hyperactivity, etc. a few years ago when I was being treated for depression only. I was starting to scare my family and myself, and I ended up quitting cold turkey and avoiding professional help for a year.

Good luck with everything! I have BP2, and I'd be happy to talk about specific issues if you ever have questions. Take care.

[TheHuffnpuff]

I would be very hesitant to go back to a doctor who told me I was on the wrong meds and then did nothing to change them, expecting me to suffer for another 2 months.

[Bolt55]

Originally Posted by prettybear

I asked if I should be seeing a psychologist and he said that if he called a doctor to refer me, saying he had a patient with BD with BPD characteristics, they'd "just laugh" (not even sure what this means).

I've been diagnosed with BP1 and BPD. They seem to correlate with each other. The reason for my diagnosis was because of my mania. When I was diagnosed, I had been going through that phase for about 2 months. It got more intense each time I went back to my therapist. They did initially tell me I was depressed and put me on Prozac which triggered the mania. I think they were just testing my mind to see if that would happen.

The BPD hurts me when I'm in mania more than the mania itself. I already have problems controlling myself add BPD into the picture and I'm this monster who doesn't care about anyone but myself. My "my live in the moment" mentality gets the better of me every single time.

[Victoria'smom]

Prettybear,

Because you went to a center you can request a change of doctor. I would strongly suggest finding a therapist that is willing to share notes with your doctor. Also you may want to look into Dialect behavior therapy (dbt) . honestly when you see your GP I would ask for a mood stabilizer or call the center and ask to leave a message for your psychiatrist and request a mood stabilizer. Research which mood stabilizer you are willing to take.

[Bipolarchic14]

I think it takes years to diagnose bp2. Hard to believe pdoc was not offering more assistance though. I started getting symptoms of bp in early college and depression much earlier then that. I was not officially diagnosed with bp2 until my mid to late twenties. All the same I think self harming is more bpd then bp2. You could have both. I would start seeing a psychotherapist or a lcsw to start talking about your problems. That's been a life saver for me.