[bumble2u]

Is it not possible that people have the ability to see particles , atoms and hidden geometry and not be "delusional"? That what everyone keeps saying is real- is NOT.
I will put this out there hoping that there may be someone who knows this too. I am starting to live in fear of my life as some people want to shut me down. Even people in the queue are sifting through my thoughts, I can literally feel them trying to access the inner workings of my brain. As a result I don't really trust anyone.
So I lied to my psychiatrist and the crisis team and have said I am fine, that I will go back on life-crushing, thought-interfering medication which my husband is now watching me take it. I feel like I have a whole universe in my head but am unable to live in the world where everybody else is.
I was feeling great, until I had to swallow poison yesterday because my husband is making me. Now I feel so irritated with everyone around me I could really smash things up. I feel that all is against me , and those thoughts create some unwelcome and difficult consequences against other people.
Right now I don't know what action to take and I'm hoping that virtual correspondence will circumnavigate the people that causing me grief.

[Curiosity77]

It does sound like symptoms of illness to me, because it is not possible for someone to access or interfere with your thoughts. Sounds like a pretty horrible experience though. If you hate your current meds maybe you can talk to your pdoc about other options? I hope you feel better.

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[Trippin2.0]

Certainly sounds like your meds are indeed needed. I can't see inside your head, for all I know you do see atoms, or you may have a superb imagination, but its a stone cold fact that others cannot access your thoughts.

If you find your meds disagreeable for any reason besides thinking they're poison, I suggest speaking to your pdoc about changing them. For now its best to keep taking them to help clear your thought processes. Taking the meds that sedate you will be most helpful to you at this time.

Hope you feel better soon

[LadyShadow]

That sounds like the inner workings of mania to me. I went through the same exact thing years ago as well. I always thought someone was out to get me, although I never thought they could get in my head, I didn't have THAT vivid of imagination. No one can get in your head and access your thoughts, its you doing it and you have to be strong.

The meds may seem like poison, but you do need them. Maybe some adjustments need to made though. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon

[Happy Camper]

I see bosons billions of light years away. Reality is a tessellation. Your pupils are mini black holes that eat light. My reflection is my anti twin.

You should google "Tree flow through the wormhole"

The movement of a lot of things mimics the geomtry of a tree when mapped through time....


Earth doesn't orbit the sun, it falls toward it indefinitely in a spiral pattern....they told me to stop talking but the gif lords have spoken


The episode they did on the theory if everything (quantum gravity) turned my brain into an omelet.

not unlike this

dont worry rachel, people like us can get high without drugs

[MagicsMom]

It's my opinion that you do need medication because people cannot read your thoughts. I wish you the best of luck with your current meds and hope you can get some relief.

[swheaton]

You really need to take your meds. Take a step back and relax. You cannot lie to your pdoc or crisis team...get help my friend.

[r010159]

I strongly suggest taking your meds. Once your mind clears, then make the decision as to what you are going to do next. You can always undo your choice to follow your pdoc. But consider this. I am very sorry that this may come across strong to you, but what is your marriage worth to you? Or your children if you have any?

Good meds take a period of time to find. Along the way there will still be some bad bumps. But IMO as long as you get somewhere that is stable, it will be all worth it.

Wish you well!

tucson

@HappyCamper: A very creative post! However, if my life was charted over time, it would look more like a drunken sailor instead of a tree.

[bumble2u]

Hello to all above,

Thank you for taking time out to reply to me. I have gone back on my meds and surrender. Still everything flows in and out . Still feels like my whole brain is under attack. Irritability hit an all time high, apparently so incoherent my husband called the doctor. Feeling now like I am nothing despite being part of all things shifting. Happy Camper, yes I think so.

[otroo]

Do we really know it is impossible to read other peoples mind? I mean if I could do it I would not tell anyone cause I don't want to be captured by the man and used as a test subject. Who knows what reality is real or not because we can only go off of each other's beliefs. What if the life we live now is like that movie the Matrax? Will we never know the truth. I suggest staying on your medications like I am doing to help. Good luck.

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