Why keep going?

I am a worthless piece of ****!

with the right meds and t things do get better, I swear.....

A week ago I was right there to the point I was not safe to be alone. With a med change things are looking up. No matter why you think your a worthless piece of **** its depression talking.

No you are not! I'm sorry you feel that way! What can I do to help? Do you need to talk to someone? I'm here if you do. We all feel this way sometimes. Things will get better. Just hold on! PM me if you want to.

No you're not! It's the illness talking. Everyone has worth even if you don't always feel that way. I felt that way for a year while in a terrible depression and when I came out I realized it's my f******* up brain talking and it's not true.

When in depression, your brain tells you lies. They are ghost stories….not rooted in reality. We all feel that way sometimes. It's just not true.

You typed out a sentence. If you have computer skills you have a lot.

Well I have been treated in the past for depression. I'm being treated for bp currently. If it's depression talking, then I guess I have been depressed for 20+ years. Yeah, some days are better than others, but my overall average outlook is gloom and doom mixed with fear and paranoia.

If I'm refused disability this year, I won't make it. My blood pressure is 182/99 and can't afford care to get in with doctor to get meds for it. I can tell it's affecting me. Disability is my last hope for survival!

I'm growing tired waiting for my hearing date. This bipolar started somewhere around 3 years ago when I got fired from a job for my 3rd outburst on coworkers. I hung in and worked some odd end jobs until Oct. 2013 when finally went to a clinic and got got diagnosed with bipolar and started a med.

I need some kind of a life besides sitting in a room constantly staring at a pc screen , tv, or 4 walls. Without a job and money, it's all I can do.

So, when life really sux so bad, why do we have to keep going? People like me who are ready to go cannot, and god bless the folks on that jet living the good life get taken, and they probably were no where near ready to go.

Why do I have to continue to suffer day in and day out? At least with a terminal illness you can look forward to each day because you know you only have so many left. Now I do understand that not even my next breath is guaranteed, but if it's God's plan for me to live until I'm older like in my 60's or 70's, I just can't continuing suffering mentally for another 20-30+ years.

Like the Rolling Stones sang, I just can't seem to get no satisfaction, out of anything in life.

I think I should have a choice as to whether I want to live in hell or not.

I still don't understand why its not optional but please go to your clinic and get your blood pressure taken care of. Can you get a pet?

I ask myself the same thing all the time and I always end up with the same answer. Because I have things left to accomplish.

You so aptly expressed how I feel right now with staring at the walls and wondering if this is what I must resign to feeling for the next 20-30 years. I feel that same way, and the fear and hopelessness is so crushing. I try to do little things to remind myself that I was once strong and vital and alive.

This can't be all there is. There is light even though we don't really believe that. Even typing it, I am like, yeah right this sucks, but it has been better. Depression is soul-sucking. But you keep fighting.

Thanks for posting your true feelings. I am right there with you today, but I read the posts from other folks here today and I realized that my feelings of last night [total hopelessness] are temporary. I'm rapid cycling and sometimes the fatigue just takes over me and I want to sleep forever.

PM me if you want to talk. Support really helps. I'm lonely. Hugs to you.

Some days can be very trying, and circumstances can affect how I feel about myself too. In the end, though, I always realize that no one is worthless. You are human, and just by being human, you a person deserving dignity and respect. I hope the rest of your day goes better.