describe "mania" for me?

As you can read in my other post in here, I've been treated for recurrent major depression since 1998, but for the last 4-6 weeks have been scoring off the charts on the bipolar quiz (actually, I've taken 2 or 3 different ones, and scored off the charts on all of them).

I just would like to know how to differentiate "mania" from, say, the agitated anxiety that comes with a panic attack. I have never felt this way before that I can recall, and so I don't know what to make of it. I can't sit still to save my life -- if it weren't for Tivo, I wouldn't be watching TV at all, because I can't sit still through even my favorite half-hour program. I'm agitated as all get-out, feel like I want to jump out of my skin all the time. I talk fast normally, but have had to make a conscious effort to slow it down lately because several people have commented that they can't understand me. Those are the ones that come straight to mind, but I know there's more.

I'm new to this area and can't see the new pdoc I've chosen till Jan. 3, and I'm not sure I'm going to last that long. This is easily the most uncomfortable I've ever been, even when I was suicidally depressed. I guess I don't understand how this can happen after all these years of being dx'd just plain depressed, but I could really use some real-world experiences and some reassurance!

thanks

Candy

Candy, when I'm maniac, I feel literally on top of the world. Those days I feel I can do whatever I put my mind into, I feel great, I talk to everybody, I feel "extremely" happy, I drive faster and change lanes more than usual, I can't fall asleep and I usually need to take something to help me thru the night.
But also, I'm prone to exaggerate "necessities", for example I don't like to shop, but during my maniac episodes, I'd buy stuff I don't really need everyday and also I get my work done faster and better.
I have what is called "mixed states" I can be feeling this, but at some point, everything gets messed up, I'd be great in the morning and I can crashed with a really bad depression in the afternoon.
If that is not enough, I have rapid cycling, so, some days it feels like my life turned into a rollercoaster ride that never ends.
I hope this helps, I’m more aware of my triggers now, and I can prevent better but still, I have to deal with some of these things daily.
Keep me updated~
~tons of hugs~

I think you might be in a "mixed" episode where you are extremely agitated & high energy. I had that & that's when I was originally diagnosed with bp--my internal med doc saw me in this state--I was depressed yet agitated & talking fast--she dxed me & I've been in treatment for bp & have found relief on the new meds available today. Do you have bp in your family? That is a good indicator that you might have it. It is very genetically based. Talk to your doc & describe all your symptoms--I had the shopping, reckless behavior when driving (actually started honking at a slow moving funeral procession), calling people I hadn't been in touch with in years & all sorts of just reckless behavior.--Suzy

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Suzy5654 said:
reckless behavior when driving (actually started honking at a slow moving funeral procession)

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I'm sorry, but i coudln't help myself, LOLOL, "that's a maniac episode suzzie!!!!"

oh lordy, if road rage is a symptom of BP, I've had it for years without knowing it! Honking at a funeral procession absolutely is something I would do. I'm usually able to restrain myself to just dropping a few F-bombs, though!

I got paid yesterday and am down to less than $100 today, but I paid a bill and got gas and went grocery shopping. Well, and then I spent the rest on Christmas shopping, but it was for other people, does that count?

It is sounding more and more like I have this crap -- all I know is, I'm really, really uncomfortable like this!! I have depression in my family, but not BP that I'm aware of.

Thanks for the responses.

Candy

{{{{{{{{{{{{{[Candy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I also went thru the "uncomfortable" Phase that you are going right now.
Everything started with a simple question from my hubby; he said "I'm sorry Hon, but I don't get you, one day you are the best hostess there is and the next you want to crawl into a cave, what's going on??"
That really throwed me thru a loop and started researching, I made tons of quizzes, (like you did) after a month I went to my T, he sent me to a Pdoc, and here I am now.
The first month it was a mix of "Ohhhh so that is why!! (relief)" and "Ohhhh Holy s***" The next month was easier as I was paying more attention to my own feelings and thoughts, and after that, well, what can I said... this is me! lol
Hang in there Hon, you are not alone~

LOL - buying for other people does count! When I'm manic, most of the crazy stuff I buy is for other people (a dozen emergency blankets that everyone needs, one year it was cell phone boosters that everyone "had to have"). It all just seems like a really good idea at the time - how can these people live without this stuff?

But mania is more than just buying sprees for me. The world seems full of potential and everything is possible. Everything is terribly interesting to me and I have loads of "brilliant" ideas that must be acted on immediately - until the next brilliant idea comes up a few minutes later. I start project after project and volunteer for everything under the sun. I can always tell when I'm getting manic because I start cleaning and organizing my house like crazy. Everything must be put in order, immediately. I'm normally a very introverted person, but when I'm manic I talk to people - a lot. I call everyone I know.

Before the mania gets out of control, it's great. I can focus really well and all my senses are heightened. Everything seems to make sense and I feel like I understand things immediately. I do some of my best work right before things get bad.

I have unlimited energy and I don't sleep more than an hour or two a night - but I'm never tired and have no interest in sleeping. Sleeping pills have virtually no effect. Interestingly, I also have insomnia when I'm depressed, but it's infuriating then because I'm so tired and want desparately to sleep.

When I'm having a mixed episode (which I only recently learned to identify), I'm just as wired but it takes the form more of restlessness. I get bored, but instead of moving from great idea to great idea, I don't know what to do with myself. I get extremely irritable. The world seems to be filled with stupid people whose only purpose is to get in my way.

I say and do stupid things that make me really embarrassed after the fact. I've said before on these forums, that there should be a bipolar med that renders you mute as soon as you get manic. One that disconnects your phone and email and keeps you from sticking your foot in your mouth. I snap at everyone. I feel miserable, but with enough restlessness to be really aware of it and do stupid things to try and get it to go away. I usually end up self-medicating with alcohol or anything else that happens to be around.

Didn't mean to ramble on for so long, but that's my take on how mania and mixed episodes feel for me. It's different for everyone, of course. I think the real indicator for each individual is anything that steps outside of what "normal" feelings and behaviors are for you personally.

Getting a proper dx can take a long time. Finding something to keep you regulated can take even longer, but in the end, it's worth it. It helps to have good docs who can help you track things and figure out what's going on. Of course, if you're irritable, they will probably all seem like flakes anyway. Good luck....

Hi Candybear

I have BP 2 - hypomania with mixed states, was diagnosed in May this year after 10 years of depression. Suddenly everything fell into place. Sure I had euphoria, racing thoughts even when depressed (hence mixed states) for the 10 years but acually having the hypomanic episode put the tin lid on the diagnosis.

I have no family history of BP but do have a lot of depression in the family history. For me hypomania was extreme euphoria, excitability, talking fast, racing thoughts, delusional, highly sexual, spending spree (but not huge big time). Enough to be going on with anyway! Doc said it was a "waking diagnosis" so therefore means that I may never get another hypomanic episode in my life or I may do, but now I am on meds I think its highly unlikely to happen again. Taking the meds every day is highly important with BP.

As Suzy said anxiety can go hand in hand with the mixed states so I would go see your doc asap and sort this out. I am wishing you all the best and keep posting! ((((hugs))))

I just had to tell some of my shopping while manic or hypo manic--an $800.00 vacuum cleaner; gold-plated tweezers for my daughter & myself; $1,000.00 getting Botox, collagen injections in my lips, microdermabrasion; stacks of books , & about everything I read about on-line. The N.Y. Times had an article about some fancy paper from Europe--I had to have it. Oprah's favorite things are necessities for me! Sometimes I can't keep track of all the stuff I've ordered.

Also, I do contact people out-of-the-blue which is very embarrassing later. I haven't spoken to this person in 15 years & I'll call to chat...sometimes they don't even remember who I am. I now carry a card in my wallet that says: when manic, do not phone, send e-mails, write letters, or send smoke signals.--Suzy

Having any mood disorder in the family does make you more likely to have one than people without the family history. Both my children have had depression, but not bp, yet. Hope it doesn't go that way for them.--Suzy

Thanks, everyone. From the descriptions in here, this is clearly a "mixed state" episode. Can I just say ... it stinks!
Hopefully this is the first and last, but it would be nice to be medicated soon. I see my primary care guy before I see my pdoc -- do you think it would be worth asking him for something, or should I just hang out and wait for the pdoc?

Candy

Before I saw my pdoc my internal medicine doc (who dxed me--I was in a mixed state) put me on Depakote. It helped with the agitation & restlessness, but did nothing for the depression, but at least it gave me a little relief before I saw the pdoc & started experimenting with meds to see what would work for me.--Suzy

It may be conforting to think a mood disorder is not biologically inherited, but statistics suggest it is at least as easy to inherit as any other tendency. I got high triglicerides from my Mom's family and depression from my Dad's. I got my cheerful disposition from my mother's father and intellect from Dad's family. Mom had Asthma and so do I. Why shoulc depression be different? I got treatment for my asthma decades earlier with better chemicals, so I won't die from it like mom. I gotthe mchemicalsbecause Iwas alert tothe tendency and reorted minor symptoms to my doctors.

People who are sped up often think everyone else is slowed down.

lA lot of the postings Is read here suggest that you look for objective criteria, and that sounds right to me. Ifthe spedomoter says sI'm going 90 and I feel comfortable with it, I may be out of rhythm with the world. If I usually am a sweet guy and i find myself getting angry it may be I'm irritable, notthat others havebecome irritating.

I notice it when I stop being thrifty. The worst is when I notice I'm starting to go shoppingjust to go shopping, but I don't care whether I'm spending wisely or not.

PaulS -
I think you're dead on when you mentioned going 90 mph seems right to you but maybe you're out of sync with the rest of the world. That's a major battle for me. It feels so normal to me to zoom along, most of the time I don't even notice until I start to get really irritable with everyone and it seems like I'm surrounded by people whose whole purpose in the universe is to get in my lane and slow me down. Irritability is my biggest clue that a mixed state is upon me.

Physically driving 100+ mph has never bothered me. I've always felt in complete control. Though, I have never done it in a vehicle that is not capable of doing so. Somehow, I have only acquired 3 speeding tickets in 11 years of driving. I spend more time looking for cops than anything else.

But the posts in this thread make a good point. It really could be that it's just me and I am out of sync. I too get frustrated at work, because at times my production is like 8 times that of anyone else, and when I have to wait on something, I get angry if it's not done in like 5 minutes. Very interesting indeed...