[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by rchagoya

I find myself surrounded by a lot of depressed friends right now. I am feeling surprisingly well and upbeat about my life, but it's hard to deal when all of them are reaching out to me for help. I know that I should know how to deal with it better than any of them, but I also know that when I'm depressed all the small sympathies people offers seem so worthless. I am doing all I can to help them, though just by letting them know I am here for them when they need me.

That's great that you want to be there for your friends even though you are feeling well right now,I'm sure you know to maintain wellness you have to do a lot of self care. Been there, done that.

[swheaton]

Despite the anxiety, I'm feeling really good today. I had a great session with my therapist.

Originally Posted by Curiosity77

I am so anxious right now I feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm on a drug monitoring program for work, and I accidentally missed a screen. Total accident. So they suspended me indefinitely, and sent me for a test today, which they will review and decide what happens next. I'm freaking out because I also accidentally ate a salad with poppy seed encrusted feta on Monday evening, and it didn't occur to me until after I ate it. Poppy seeds can test false positive for opiates. I didn't report it because it was a small amount, so I didn't think it was worth mentioning, but under the circumstances I am freaking out because they won't believe me that it was just poppy seeds.

Feel like throwing up, and crying. I really don't want to be forced off work again. I've only just got my career back on track, and now this. I'm such an idiot.

Will the LSD show up on your drug screen? I can see how that can be so anxiety provoking. I personally dont think they should do drug screening unless you have turned up to work off your face, which most people are smart enough not to do.

A little anxiety today, procrastinating, just need to get moving - off the computer! And I desperately need a horseride!! Just finding it so hard to get out there, it takes SO much energy. Got another appointment with my pdoc/t today. I almost need a break from therapy, its been so intensive lately.

Going away this weekend which will be good, but it will be with a couple of people who are heavy into drugs and alcohol and I have a horse thing on the next day. I hope they dont pressure me, as I have given into their peer pressure before.

[Curiosity77]

Originally Posted by Supanova

Will the LSD show up on your drug screen? I can see how that can be so anxiety provoking. I personally dont think they should do drug screening unless you have turned up to work off your face, which most people are smart enough not to do.

A little anxiety today, procrastinating, just need to get moving - off the computer! And I desperately need a horseride!! Just finding it so hard to get out there, it takes SO much energy. Got another appointment with my pdoc/t today. I almost need a break from therapy, its been so intensive lately.

Going away this weekend which will be good, but it will be with a couple of people who are heavy into drugs and alcohol and I have a horse thing on the next day. I hope they dont pressure me, as I have given into their peer pressure before.

The LSD doesn't show up as far as I know, so I'm only a little worried about that. And just to be clear, LSD is not a habit for me. I have done it 3 times over the past 15 years. It was stupid to do it now, and I totally regret it, but I didn't know I would miss a screen and be in this situation.

I am more worried about the poppy seeds, because those can test false positive for opiates, and they check for that.It was totally stupid. I ate the food without thinking, and it was only later that night that I realized I had eaten poppy seeds. I didn't report it because I didn't want to create more problems for myself, and now there's this.

I feel like my life is totally crashing down around me, and I'm watching it happen, but there's nothing i can do. Depression and anxiety hit me like a truck today, and I can't stop crying or focus on anything at all. I don't think I can handle going through this if it goes badly. When this happened initially, I was hospitalized for being so unwell. I don't want to get back to that point. I really hate my life right now, and I really want to just give up. But I don't even know how to do that.

I'm such an idiot

[Standup2me]

Hanging by a thread

[x_BabyG_x]

I am in SO much emotional pain.

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[Curiosity77]

Sorry to hijack this thread - but an update for anyone who read my 2 earlier posts from today. The test results are posted on the patient ehealth website, and i tested negative! So poppy seed crisis averted! I'm still suspended and i don't know what will happen, but i can breathe a little easier. Lesson learned for the future. I'll post the outcome of all of this once i know it

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[blacklist]

Originally Posted by tigersassy

Not doing to well. Had an ok week. Then yesterday depression hit full force again. Cried myself to sleep last night. Don't want to be at work today. I just want to crawl back into bed and cry some more.

Tig

Well its been week I started my treatment.. I realized that my emotion r bound to sadness permanetly I barely smile.. I huv same feeling as u huv I dnt wana go outside just wana sleep in my bed I abandoned my classes worst part of my lyf

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Originally Posted by Curiosity77

Sorry to hijack this thread - but an update for anyone who read my 2 earlier posts from today. The test results are posted on the patient ehealth website, and i tested negative! So poppy seed crisis averted! I'm still suspended and i don't know what will happen, but i can breathe a little easier. Lesson learned for the future. I'll post the outcome of all of this once i know it

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So relieved for you!

My pdoc app went really well, getting back to the nitty gritty of my teenage years, I didnt realise how much I had glossed over and how much she didnt know about my past. I guess I forgot which therapist I had talked to about that stuff. I think things are starting to click in her head about me which of course in turn helps me. I told her my plans to study psychology myself and she was pleased. Now I just have to work out how to get started!

Slept until noon yesterday. Laid in bed and watched videos until 4. Has anyone seen that new Michael Jackson song/video, "Slave To The Rhythm"? I love it! Then went and got a pizza. After which I went to church. Afterwards had someone who's personal life I don't much about break down and tell me a lot of deep stuff. I am attributing it to the fact I am studying psychology (people tend to do this to me because of that). Overall it was actually a pretty blah day.

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[Standup2me]

Second visit to the therapist yesterday
Not going back
She has no concept of BP

[tigersassy]

Feeling like crap. Memories are bubbling to the surface. I feel like a failure. Depression is definitely ruling today. Thoughts are snowballing. Can I curl up and die now? Taking a bath to cool off then curling up in bed. I'm isolating I know, but I just want to cry and that's safer in my own bed. With no one around.

Tig

Severe depression lingers. At least I got out of the house and had lunch with a friend today. Other than that, same old, same old (computer and t.v., endlessly with a hard-to-understand inability/lack of desire to change anything).

[Notnrml85]

So I've been mixed it seems like forever and have been suicidal for a day and a half now my husband has been is been with me since yesterday morning. I don't want to go in on a 51/50 I just want some kind of outpatient crisis care. Well, apparently in San Diego all of the outpatient clinics are run by the county and now that I have my covered California insurance my insurance apparently is too good and I'm not allowed to go to any of the outpatient clinics run by the county. So I either have to go to the emergency room and be put on a 5150 or I just have to stick it out and deal with this until this goes away and I don't know if I can do that.

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[usehername]

Very depressed. Typing is almost too much. I keep thinking I'm Ok for a minute and them I start crying or my body finds a way to scream, "something's wrong here!". I feel like the outside world is spinning around me so I'm hiding. I'm not good to anybody right now anyway. :'(

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Super Wonderful day today! Worked in the garden and went for a long hike. I put my music on and imagined I was invisible to counteract my social anxiety. I'm feeling fine.

[blacklist]

My day started quite depressed I tried to concentrate n study but all in vain. Than a friend of mine kicked in n asked for help to organise an event so I agreed n did some management stuff n now back home feeling gud

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[Talanic]

I was alright for the most part. The day was a little rocky. Went to the store with a friend a few hours ago... But after being there for a few minutes I suddenly got hugely depressed and had a really hard time being around the friends that where over. So I just said I was tired and they left... Truth is I'm tired (Got 5 hours of sleep last night, 4 hours the night before and so on...), but I mostly just wanted everyone to leave... Was also my last day on taking 20mg of Latuda, now I start taking 40mg daily. Scared it's not going to help...

[blacklist]

Does sleep has to do something as em also huving 4 to 5 hrs sleep while I am taking olepra and chhlorazepam at night

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[blacklist]

Originally Posted by Talanic

I was alright for the most part. The day was a little rocky. Went to the store with a friend a few hours ago... But after being there for a few minutes I suddenly got hugly depressed and had a really hard time being around the friends that where over. So I just said I was tired and they left... Truth is I'm tired (Got 5 hours of sleep last night, 4 hours the night before and so on...), but I mostly just wanted everyone to leave... Was also my last day on taking 20mg of Latuda, now I start taking 40mg daily. Scared it's not going to help...

Does sleep has to do something as em also huving 4 to 5 hrs sleep while I am taking olepra and chhlorazepam at night

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Feeling very depressed and lonely right now. I feel like laying in bed all day, I simply don't have the energy to do anything today.

[Skitz13]

I'm done!!!

[pawn78]

I am still really irritable. sensitive to any stress at all... ugh.

I feel like getting drunk or stoned, just to dull my brain. Why is everything so annoying all the time to me?

[Talanic]

Originally Posted by pawn78

I am still really irritable. sensitive to any stress at all... ugh.

I feel like getting drunk or stoned, just to dull my brain. Why is everything so annoying all the time to me?

I totally understand how you feel. I really want a drink and a joint right now as well... If I could drink I'd most likely drink and pass out...

I hope you feel better soon.

[Roblovescats]

I need more friends ... Chat with me ...

Sent from the dark side of the moon