[Standup2me]

Today I feel connected to the earth
I am a part of it

[BlackSheep79]

Went on cogentin last week because the latuda is causing akathisia. I'm itchy and my tongue swelled up from the cogentin, so I had to come off of the cogentin and wait for further treatment until the itching, etc. stops. I'm afraid that what ever they put me on this will happen again. I've been allergic to six meds now. I'm on med leave right now and I'm scared I'm not going to be ready and well if this happens again. I'm miserable with the akathisia, it gets bad in the evening and I panic which just makes it worse, ahhh!!!

[Skitz13]

Was totally disrespected today. Whatever self-respect I had, went right out the window.

[tigersassy]

Originally Posted by Plzsti

Was totally disrespected today. Whatever self-respect I had, went right out the window.

I so totally relate to this I'm going through this same thing at work.

[Sad&Bipolar]

Today, I had a decent day. It is the first one like this in months.

3rd night inpatient, starting to get into the swing of it. Had a really relaxing day but gave in and had a cigarette this afternoon. I regret it and I stink but it was OH so good. I have accepted I need to be here and trying to get all the help I can.

[sarahblue]

Originally Posted by Supanova

3rd night inpatient, starting to get into the swing of it. Had a really relaxing day but gave in and had a cigarette this afternoon. I regret it and I stink but it was OH so good. I have accepted I need to be here and trying to get all the help I can.

So glad to hear that you are safe and getting help.

Don't let your father's BS get to you.

[sarahblue]

Me...I need to get motivated. I'm spending a lot of time on the computer (obviously), but not getting stuff done in real life. I need to work on my thesis. I've committed this month to doing that. I need to exercise. I need to take a shower.

Also, my sister is here and coming off lithium, so that makes life interesting.

I had a nice day yesterday with some family visiting me, but now, reality is settling back in.

[Standup2me]

Today is a good day

The stress at work is really high right now, but I take little short breaks in the bathroom
Breath
and calm myself down

[Blue_Bird]

I'm so depressed I don't even have the energy to hurt myself

[Moreta]

Tried to get admitted to the psych ward. Apparently I didn't meet the qualifications b/c I don't have a plan. Should've went to the private hospital in town. They know me there.

I start a PHP tomorrow. Which is going to be useless. I hate group therapy.

[tigersassy]

Back up to 40mg off viibryd. Thank you PCP. I got samples and a coupon. I'm unsure off what it's going on and that scares me. I would almost say I'm mixed per descriptions, but this may not even be me. I feel I fit, but that could be because of PTSD and depression. All I know is something is wrong inside my brain. I'm trying to make routine, but whatever I'm going through makes difficult because my thoughts consume me and I can't focus. I'm supposed to be heading to bed. The next few nights will be fun with 4th of July celebrations.

Im doing ok. A bit agitated with the nurses. If I dont eat with my Zeldox Im stuck with a day of tummy problems, I told them 3 times in an hour I needed my meds before someone finally gave them to me. Looking forward to group for something to do!! Group was helpful to me yesterday but I feel I need to take a step back today and let someone else work on their issues. Im hoping they split the group 11 people in a group is just too big. This afternoon I'll hopefully do some craft. I dont have any visitors today. Really want to go home for a bit on the weekend.

[Losingcontrol89]

My fiancé and me got into an argument because I felt like since today was one of my bad days, he didn't accept me. There was a lot to that argument. By the end of it, I needed to go out and buy a new door handle for the front door and after I fixed it, I downed the rest of my vodka. To me, it's not enough. I still want to drink more. He eventually came to me and hugged me tight and kissed me but I'm mad and hurt enough that I didn't want to accept it as anything meaningful. I just want to drink more. I want to forget that I am who i am

[Curiosity77]

I went shopping for costumes for burning man today and got some pretty rad stuff. I wish i could go right now!

[tigersassy]

Circumstances are making this mood thing so much worse. Got a flat tire on the way too work. Now the place I go for tires is closed. I don't have the money too get a new tire. I don't even have the money to get a used tire. I made it to work, but I may not be able to make it home. I can't get a hold of anyone this morning. I'm flipping out. I won't be able to afford a new tire until next week and I've got work all next week. SI thoughts are high right now, to ease the pursue in my head. Fml.

[Standup2me]

Doing well today
Had a great sleep last night
8.5 hours solid

So glad you are doing well Standup2me, lovely to hear

I have day leave to go and see my horse. I discussed with my doctor that the horse needs to be part of my treatment plan. I am feeling pretty good today, some slight agitation but that is normal when my meds are due. The badness isnt due for a little while yet so I am enjoying the good while it lasts.

Wanting to do something really cool in craft group this week - does anyone have any ideas?

[Standup2me]

Supa, I love making jewelry. I bought my supplies on eBay for a good price

I make them all year and then give them to the Christmas cheer collection at Christmas (they collect gifts to give away at Christmas)

[lilypup]

Doing okay today. Got up and made brownies for my husband's poker game tonight. Only other thing I want to do is take a shower later today. Am hoping to go to church and to meet a fellow BP tomorrow for lunch. It would be good to make it.

[Curiosity77]

Last night i went to a party. It was OK, but i didn't stay very long, mostly because of anxiety. I don't drink or take drugs because i get random drug tested for work, and the test includes alcohol. So it's a little hard to be the sober person at the party, especially because i'm not sober by choice. I know i was abusing substances when i got put on this monitoring program, but my mood was really unstable at the time and i think it was part of that. I hate sobriety. Drugs and alcohol cause problems for me, but i still prefer my life when i could party than to now. I can't wait until Burning Man when i'll be away from monitoring long enough to have a few drinks. I'll keep it low key, it will just be a bit of a break. My monitoring is so oppressive - no drinking, no drugs, and forced medications. They have taken my fire and chaos away, and i am very resentful. I may be more stable now, but at what cost? All because i got hospitalized... It's so unfair. I like the Of Montreal lyric "at least i author my own disaster." I want control over my life and decisions again. I hate having my wings clipped, and 40 months is such a long time. I have 10 months left, so i hope this is a fast year

[swheaton]

Feeling blah. I'm going to a concert tonight and I am already trying to talk myself out of going.

[r010159]

Why is it that I feel more depressed when I know vacation is in a week? My cat swiped a bottle of my daughter's nail polish and it broke on the floor. The nail polish went all over the floor. My daughter slept over at a freind's. I want to go somewhere. I feel restless. But I cannot since I am taking care of my mother.

[BlackSheep79]

I'm so sick from the latuda. I went cold turkey and today is the first from not being on it. I'm thinking about going back on the seroquel. My muscles in my legs aren't tightening up, but I have the anxiety but no panic attacks thank God yet. I was on the latuda for four weeks, I hope I don't go thru withdrawals. I'm really scared about it, but I'm so glad I'm not having panic attacks.