Bi polar forever, getting worse, and have lost all support

My last manic episode was almost 6 months long, with the last 30 days in psychosis which landed me, once again, back in the hospital. I have relocated with my boyfriend of 9 years. Since my hospitalization, I have fallen in to deep depression with more anxiety than I have ever had to deal with. My family is done with me, aside from my mom. My children want me at a distance, but I guess I can't blame them, as every episode seems to affect them more and more. Even worse, my boyfriend really doesn't know what to do about my symptoms and even told me that had I not been stabilized, he was going to just bail. He wants me better, he just doesn't know what to do. I am under a doctor's care and have been a medication guinea pig since last Xmas. I am tired of fighting this illness and becoming withdrawn and have lost interest in everything and I just don't feel like climbing this hill anymore

Just keep coming here for support. You are able to talk about it and that's a step in the right direction. You still have people you love that love you back. You are not totally alone. This is a battle for us all, everyday of our lives and it's never going to go away. But it doesn't have to be a burden. Believe it or not, this thing that often feels like a monster chewing on our brain can be tamed and sometimes turned into something positive.
Please PM me. Talk, rant, rave-it's okay. I promise to listen and I have probably been there myself. You are not alone. I hear you and understand your pain as only another BP could. Please come visit-I look forward to being your friend.

I'm sorry that you're going through all this. Bipolar is a very exhausting illness. I've burned many bridges behind me because of my episodes--both the manic and the depressive. It can be very lonely sometimes.

Coming on here has been very helpful for me. I also suggest to keep logging onto PC.

Casey, I'm so sorry to hear about your current bipolar depression. I'm in a bipolar depression too and have been since last August. I guess we can take solace in knowing this is cyclical and the depression will end at some point. I hope you can get stabilized so you can reach a more "normal" state.

After decades of living with BP1, I've learned that most people distance themselves from you because they don't understand your illness or its symptoms. Try and encourage those who are your closest friends and relatives to get on the internet to have their questions answers - or you can inform others. The cause of prejudice is ignorance.

And after you've tried everything you can to educate others, if they still want to "bail," let them. They're not worth your time, energy, or emotional wellbeing to cling to.