I don't know

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know. I was just trying to think of something that would offer temporary relief til you could talk to your pdoc. I totally understand if you don't want to go that route.

Its ok. You didn't know. I'm afraid for the first time in a long time, i'm afraid of myself. My desperation scares me.

Tig

My stomach is messing with me on top of everything else. I guess a call to pdoc's office is in order if I still feel like this tomorrow. I'm worried. I just don't want to be locked up which could happen my thoughts are mimicking the thoughts that have gotten me placed inpatient before. I need to stick to my plan, but I don't want to. Fear and anxiety is ruling my decisions.

Tig

(((biggest Tig))) we're here for you!

I'm right there with you. I will tell someone something and they swear I never said anything about whatever it was. I get to the point of tears because I am certain I told them. or I will answer a question and they insist I did not answer. I did. I know I did!

I'm worried the help I get might be too late to be help. I hope tonight calms my mind and these feelings and thoughts will be a distant memory by morning. I'm trying to remember this will pass just like every other time, but I can't. I'm weak. I'm drowning in my feelings with no where left to turn. No thoughts of life savers.

Tig

Hold on Tig, its going to be ok. Make a decision that you are going to call the dr first thing as soon as the office opens and hold on to that. If you decide to go inpatient then realize thats ok too. We do what we have to, to be safe and ok.

I don't think my wife understands how bad things are in my head. I told her i'm scared of whats in my head and she says no matter what we'll face it together and continued playing her video game. I can't afford to go to the dr if they want to see me. I'm broke till friday. I can't go inpatient. I'm the only one working. Its an hour and a half past my bedtime and i'm not tired. My anxiety is through the roof and i'm crying. Escape is what I need.

Tig

Do you have any paid vacation time or sick leave? If you do you may want to go to a crisis/stabilization center that is usually three days. You can say you had the flu or something.

Please tell me about this crisis/stabilization center. How would I find one in my area?

In wv its called a crisis center, in fl its acute care center. Usually its part of a larger public or private mental health clinic. In WV your pdoc or therapist has to refer you unless you are part of the clinic before crisis. Its mainly to have people available while doing med changes and reevaluating your treatment plan.

You have to go voluntary, and not be a threat to patients and staff but have trouble with basic needs. You can be there as long or short as you need. My husbands old pdoc urged us to go for a couple of hours for a med change if we didn't get out of bed for 2 days.

The center I'm at you see your regular out patent therapist daily and do groups most of the day. Your regular pdoc is in charge of your med changes and you see him/ herat least twice ( upon entering and exiting) if you stay the full time. As well as an appointment with pdoc within 2 wks and your therapist within the week. If they feel you need more help after the three days they refer you to partial hospitalization.

Yeah I have a few vacation days left. My wife wound up giving me a tylenol pm after she realized how dark my thoughts actually were last night. Now i'm getting ready for work. Which I don't really want to do. But i'm me and I have to.

Tig

I'd really take the vacation days to get meds sorted out because you can plan so you have your regular days off too.

I've also got fmla so I can take off as needed without pay, but I don't like using it unless I have to.

Tig

Taking off work tomorrow because of how I've been today. My wife and I are going to go hiking no matter the weather because thats apparently what I need. Talked to nurse. Wasn't completely honest about how i'm feeling. Was told to call pdoc. Nurse thinks this is because of med adjustment. I want it to go away.

Tig

Called pdoc office yesterday got permission to up my viibryd to 20 mg but after talking to my nurse last night I called back this morning because i'm in crisis and need something to help me now. The viibryd will take 3-4 weeks. I was supposed to set up an appt to see him again before he leaves and I get a new pdoc, but he doesn't have anything available for when he wanted to see me. This whole situation is not making things easy on me. In fact its making it worse.

Tig

Isn't it irritating when they say see me in 'x' time then that time isn't available? I'm sorry things are being so hard. Hang in there with us Tig, we're here for you. (((big)))

He made room in his schedule. I see pdoc again on may 19. I just want to sleep. I called my nurse it went straight to voicemail which sucks cause I should really reach out. I'm laying in bed wishing I could just stop being. I'm crying. Why can't this be over? I promised my nurse I wouldn't c%t, but that was a few days ago and something has got to give. I hate being like this.

Tig

Dude -- this happens to be me all the time, but I have given up letting it get to me...I learned not to trust my memory at all...I mean, I am recently diagnosed and I forgot the entire conversation I had with my doctor and for some reason thought he had said I had anxiety disorder....luckily I have a wife with a good memory and she corrected me, cuz I called her the moment I got outta the docs office...

Plus, like other's have said, don't sweat the small stuff man, it ain't worth your sanity.

(((BIGGEST HUGS))) Tig!!! I'm so sorry, just know you are in my thoughts! I've been there, it will get better ok? Just hang in there.