[Marshellette]

I am and I've been fired from or quit six different jobs or so. The only way I get by is to work at temporary employment agencies, hiding in the masses...My biggest reason why I can't work is the lack of sleep that comes hand in hand with bipolar disorder. I was so exhausted last year on the job scrubbing tiles that my heart beat out of my chest and I fainted from lack of sleep. "You just go on home you here," said the hard looking blue collar supervisor woman. **** you, I thought. Yet I managed to show up just enough to hide in the system for a year. But then I moved to a rural part of the state where everyone seems cruel here and hickish because they ain't got nothing else to do but "boo" people. They laugh you off the job if you show up fifteen minutes late. Being bipolar and knowing my history, I'm terrified.

[Alt77]

I work long shifts and go without sleep for days but I just try to carry on. I just drink coffee in the day and try to sleep when I can in breaks. You shouldn't be late for work tho, it forms impressions so easily.

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[BipolaRNurse]

I've had problems with jobs all my life, especially during my nursing career. The longest I ever held on to one job was a little under three years. Sometimes I worked two part-time jobs so I could fly under the radar, other times I was an administrator type and worked 50-60 hour weeks before burning out and having a meltdown.

I have held 17 jobs in 19 years, including the one I just started. But I keep at it, not just because I need the money but I also need structure. I've learned that I have to protect my sleep so that I can stay more even-keeled, and in turn so I can focus and play well with others.

[MissyB0201]

I think it's possible to work. I think you need to get to a place where you are ok first. Focus on yourself. I find I beat myself up a lot when I am working. I worry what people think of me, meeting deadlines, sales goals etc. I am taking a break. Focusing on me. I think it will take some time before I can return.

[A Red Panda]

First off:

I'm bipolar 2, I'm used to my depressions, and my hypomanias, as they are hypomanias, don't cause any decrease in my functioning. I learned to work through and hide the depressions at a really early age, so I'm used to them.

I work full time, and beside getting antsy feet and wanting to run away, I'm absolutely fine with my workload. It can be stressful and really takes a toll on me when I'm depressed, but I can truck through it and manage to get by.

I cant work much at all, part time at most. I've had the same job for nearly 10 years on and off, but they are extremely understanding and cater for the disabled.

Other jobs over the years have never lasted longer than about 6 months, usually ending with me having a stress related episode.

I find volunteer jobs the best for me, I can do as much or as little as I can handle. Its rewarding and I enjoy it much more than paid work. Its hard being broke, but I'd rather be enjoying my life and working for something I am passionate about.

[gayleggg]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

First off:

I'm bipolar 2, I'm used to my depressions, and my hypomanias, as they are hypomanias, don't cause any decrease in my functioning. I learned to work through and hide the depressions at a really early age, so I'm used to them.

I work full time, and beside getting antsy feet and wanting to run away, I'm absolutely fine with my workload. It can be stressful and really takes a toll on me when I'm depressed, but I can truck through it and manage to get by.

Red Panda said it for me, too. I do work but have to work hard on the depressed days to keep going. Fortunately, I work at a low stress job.

[lawrenman]

I guess it depends.

When I was younger before I got diagnosed I cycled through a lot of jobs mostly quitting.

Now since I graduated college I have been at the same employer for 7 years. 3 years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar. Thankfully, my employer was understanding and I have been able to recoup to where I am now.

Since my last manic episode, I have been mainly up. I get down here or there but nothing lasting more than a few hours. So for me I don't think my bipolar has a general effect on me except when I have acute episodes. I think with my Zyprexa I have been able to stave off future manic episodes.

So for me I'm able to work as long as I keep my medication on-hand to keep mania at bay.

[thickntired]

I was let go from or quit a succession of jobs. Stress makes me manic and I can't function let alone go to an office. I filed for ssdi because my illnesses have progressed to a point where it affects my employment.

I do believe it is very important to keep a schedule - volunteer, exercise, read, get out of the house when you can etc. Isolating and closing in on yourself is not healthy.

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[wildflowerchild25]

I believe my job may have triggered a worsening of cycles and episodes for me. However I have been able to keep my teaching job so far. I am halfway through my second year. I am a master at pretending everything is ok, though. It was pretty much a requirement for me as a child. Even during my last manic episode when I was experiencing psychosis I managed to go to a concert with my sister In Law and her friends and they didn't suspect anything. But this was over the summer - I'm not sure how far I would have gotten if I was teaching. As it stands the depression got so severe over the summer that I lost my summer job - I just couldn't face going. I explained my situation but my boss didn't care and didn't invite me back to camp for this summer. Just as well.

I have missed a total of eight work days due to hospitalizations. I've never come out at work beyond admitting some depression and anxiety issues. When I am becoming depressed I usually adjust my lesson plans to include more individual work instead of high energy lessons. When I'm manic I keep a copy Of my plans in front of me so I can complete them, otherwise I get off task because I'm thinking too fast.

I think I get away wih more because I work in a private special ed school though...I'm worried that if I worked in a public school someone would catch on and fire me.

[IndieVisible]

It's gonna be different for everyone. I've had crappy attendance one year and even got an award for perfect attendance another year. But I will confess, I am NOT a day person at all. I know I would not do that well on days. I prefer working 2nd shift our even better over nite like I am now. I've been able to work full time with OT for the past 15 years uninterrupted except with a short 2 month hospital stay 14 yrs ago. I've even had leadership roles too lol. OMG if they only knew

[Weltering]

Tdoc told me it was "abnormal" that I, with BP (unDXed and untreated at the time) was able to hold jobs as well as I had. I worked for one company for over six years with no extraordinary absences (and to this day am eligible for rehire) and worked another job for over a year, six months of which pulling sixty hours or more a week.

I worked up until the day I was hospitalized, three hours that morning. When I was released six days later, I was relieved to find that I had been replaced. I needed TWO YEARS to focus on myself, accepting my DX and recovering, as well as trying to figure out which way was even up.

I tried recently to accept a weekly housekeeping position, but the responsibility created so much stress and anxiety I had to resign. I took it because I am desperate for money so I can get back in treatment and on meds, however, the mental anguish coupled with new onset physical pain with extreme emotional reactions put me in bed for two days following both tries.

I have applied for disability and was denied, in appeal now. My hearing is at least six months away?

I was a very proud, very hard worker. I am ashamed that I can't work now. It's a reality I have had to accept. Perhaps one day I will have this disorder under better control, but it isn't now. As someone else said, volunteer work is the best I can do- when I want, as much I want with no strings attached.

I really, really admire those of you that can work. I miss the pride, accomplishment and respect. My accomplishments these days are getting out of bed or taking a shower or not harming myself or those around me, and it has to be good enough until I am better

[Mandysue]

after I had my 1st manic episode I worked about 6 months later at a easy job that didnt have a lot of stress. This past summer I lost my job because I had a manic episode that put me in the hospital 7 weeks, my dr. does not think I am ready to go back to work and take on the stress of work, I was approved for disability because of my bi polar. I plan to volunteer to occupy my time

[Rzay4]

I've not worked three months but am planning on returning to work next month. I stopped by my work and everything went fine. I held the infants, engage with them and put couple of them to sleep. My coworkers and bosses were so happy to see me. It was like I returned from a long vacation I can't wait to go back.

[thickntired]

For me the bipolar I has been progressive. In 2000 I was a corporate analyst working 8 hrs a day and going to graduate school 5 hrs a night for 2 years. My pdoc said he has never heard of a person with adhd & bipolar I having s MBA. Flash forward to now when I've been diagnosed, medicated, sober and in T and the illnesses are worse.

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[Standup2me]

Been told that I am high functioning

But....I have a job that is below my qualifications, but I can handle it.

Last time I had a job at my qualification level, I hid the in the bathroom and cried

[Supersonic]

Going without sleep does it for me. Had gone just over three nights/four days without sleeping. Ended up falling asleep at the wheel and driving through a phone poll. Nobody other than myself were injured luckily. I had just left a pt's house and needless to say people didn't like that . Was accused of being on drugs. Clean tests in ER proved otherwise. I kept my job, but two years later had another bout of going without sleep and passed out in a facilities lobby while doing paperwork. That was the end of that job. No good.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by Alt77

I work long shifts and go without sleep for days but I just try to carry on. I just drink coffee in the day and try to sleep when I can in breaks. You shouldn't be late for work tho, it forms impressions so easily.

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Wow-how super-hero-ish of you.

By the way, I don't think she was promoting or condoning being late--she was making a point.

[shortandcute]

I think it depends. I am really scared myself, because I have been fighting with social security for 2 1/2 years now. I did get a lawyer, he appealed for me; we had the hearing in august of 2013, then another denial from the judge in november. My lawyer appealed that right away, but we have not gotten a response for that yet. We've been getting survivors benefits for my daughter because her dad was disabled and he passed away several years ago. But she is turning 18 in less than a week. They will give us money for one more month, then that is it. So I am forced to go back to work. I'm gonna try to go to school, too, so I can get a good job, but I don't know how I'm gonna be able to handle all that--working and going to school at the same time. I've never been able to handle either one separatly so I don't know how I can handle both. Especially now that I'm older, I'm in a lot more pain and I move a lot slower. But I don't feel that I have any choice at this point.

[r010159]

Originally Posted by Weltering

Tdoc told me it was "abnormal" that I, with BP (unDXed and untreated at the time) was able to hold jobs as well as I had. I worked for one company for over six years with no extraordinary absences (and to this day am eligible for rehire) and worked another job for over a year, six months of which pulling sixty hours or more a week.

I worked up until the day I was hospitalized, three hours that morning. When I was released six days later, I was relieved to find that I had been replaced. I needed TWO YEARS to focus on myself, accepting my DX and recovering, as well as trying to figure out which way was even up.

I tried recently to accept a weekly housekeeping position, but the responsibility created so much stress and anxiety I had to resign. I took it because I am desperate for money so I can get back in treatment and on meds, however, the mental anguish coupled with new onset physical pain with extreme emotional reactions put me in bed for two days following both tries.

I have applied for disability and was denied, in appeal now. My hearing is at least six months away?

I was a very proud, very hard worker. I am ashamed that I can't work now. It's a reality I have had to accept. Perhaps one day I will have this disorder under better control, but it isn't now. As someone else said, volunteer work is the best I can do- when I want, as much I want with no strings attached.

I really, really admire those of you that can work. I miss the pride, accomplishment and respect. My accomplishments these days are getting out of bed or taking a shower or not harming myself or those around me, and it has to be good enough until I am better

I would go through a manic phase on some of the earlier jobs that I have had. I accomplished allot during these times. Then I would crash, and crash bad. I lost both jobs when this happened. I was able to remain stable for a few years with some absences for depression. I was fired from my last two jobs because both times I crashed into significant depression. I ended up hospitalized, diagnose as BP, and then on SSDI.

Most of the time now I go through a type of mixed mood when I am elevated at all. The rest of the times I am depressed, but still functional. I am rarely euphoric. So I am now going to look for work to see if I can handle the stress of a job. The benefit to me is it will provide more structure to my life.

The biggest problem I have now are my mood swings during the day. I think this is related to stress. Recently I went from happy and talking a mile-a-minute to depressed where one time recently I had to lay down for a couple hours. My daughter did not understand it. I hope this does not happen to me on my job.

PS: I am really scared of a new job after 15 years on SSDI. What if I fail?

[Victoria'smom]

My dad had the good sense to get me ssi when I turned 18. I did really good holding a summer job as a kid but that was the only situation I was able to handle at the time. I was surviving of drugs and alcohol at the time that I was holding the job down. Everyone seems to be almost scared of me trying to hold down a job.

My husband has only been able to hold down a job for less then 9 months sporadically. This was before he was stable on meds. Sines he has released a book and writes regularly. Do I think he'll ever hold down a job nope. However my sons therapist has BP and has held down the same job for 20+ years. So it is possible.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by Supersonic

Going without sleep does it for me. Had gone just over three nights/four days without sleeping. Ended up falling asleep at the wheel and driving through a phone poll. Nobody other than myself were injured luckily. I had just left a pt's house and needless to say people didn't like that . Was accused of being on drugs. Clean tests in ER proved otherwise. I kept my job, but two years later had another bout of going without sleep and passed out in a facilities lobby while doing paperwork. That was the end of that job. No good.

I've fallen asleep at jobs before too. Once I was working for one of my older sisters in a day care. She didn't have much patience for me to begin with. I was struggling a lot, and she could see that and it bothered her, so she would heap extra work on me to "teach me a lesson." Plus she knew she could get away with that with me. The other workers picked up on that and would dump stuff on me that was supposed to be their job. I got screamed at (literally) for stuff I didn't even do, and she would do this in front of everyone. I worked in the kitchen too-I had to make breakfast for the kids, clean up the kitchen, make snacks for later, and then be in the classroom by nine to help the teacher. Well, after breakfast, the teachers were supposed to take their kids back to their classrooms and let me clean. Well, they didn't feel like doing that, so I would have to watch 30-40 kids BY MYSELF and try to clean the kitchen. I don't drive, and there's no bus in my city so I had to walk to work. Normally I don't mind that except, that was a three mile walk from my house and I had to be there at seven in the morning! Often, I was expected to stay until 6 in the evening, because no one else would do it. then I had to walk another three miles home. After a while, all that started to catch up with me, and I got sick but I still had to come in to work. One time during class, I just sat down and fell asleep.

[Flummixed]

The thing that keeps me going is my family. I have sooooo many responsibilities that it keeps me somewhat in check. The meds I am on have made it so I don't miss any work anymore but my sleep is an issue. Luckily I work an alternative 12 hour schedule so every couple days I get a few days off. That allows me to regroup and get ready for the next wave though. It takes its toll. I'm usually in bed before 7PM everyday and then it's sleep for 10-20 minutes up for 30-40 and that repeats until the alarm clock goes off. I'm thinking of asking my doctor for meds that are more sedating so I can start getting at least a somewhat restful sleep.

My depression is too severe for me to work right now. I have worked as an attorney, but any kind of work is just too much for me right now. Hopefully sometime I can return, if even only part time at a low stress job.

[swheaton]

I work, but I've had many jobs. I've only been let go once and I was kindly laid off. For me it's learning to accept that I'm not perfect and co workers can be jerks. I like the job I have now, and I am learning to deal with the paranoia I have. At least I know why I quit jobs after a short time.