New here and not yet diagnosed...

Hi all

I found this site by accident and have had a good read of your posts - I'm completely at a loss at the moment.

I've had depressive episodes for about 20 years now (I'm now 40) and it's only recently that my doc has referred me to a psych consultant, as he is concerned I'm bp.

I've spent most of Christmas analysing my life and doing the tests and all - and it does seem to fit with my behaviour.

I feel very mixed emotions. Relief that finally somebody may be able to help me with what's been a pretty hellish existence for the last 20 years. But also regret that what I think is 'me' (my highs - my intense interests and learning and creativity especially) may be the result of what is classed an 'illness'.

I've started keeping mood charts, and my partner is doing the same for me. But I just feel very well, 'lost' at the moment.

Sorry, rambling on. Really I just wanted to say hello!

Heather

lots and lots of creative people, throughout generations, have suffered from mental illnesses......i know a lot of songwriters who have tremendous depression at different times. i'm a photographer and my depression certainly affects my work.

welcome to the forums and let me assure you that you will find many very supportive people here who have had the same experiences and will share with you about their/our lives.

one of the best things that you can do for yourself is to reach out to others for help. it helps us to know that others may be suffering as much, or more, at certain times and gives us a good connection so that we don't feel so alone.

i'm glad that you have a supportive partner. that makes a world of difference.

the more you post, the more support you'll get. xoxoxo pat

Hi Heather and welcome to PC.......esp. this board. There are alot of people here that can give you the support you are looking for.

I was diagnosed with bp2 a few years ago and I have finally gotten the right meds and things are going along okay. I hope the same happens for you and your life is improved.

Take care.

Hello. I'm new as well and have yet to receive an official BP diagnosis. I finally get to see a pdoc in 5 days. I've been seeing a psychologist for several weeks, and he thinks that it is likely I have some sort of BP.

I've written down everything, because my memory is terrible, and there is just too much stuff to try and remember anyway. I plan to take all these documents I've written to the pdoc to aid her in the Dx. Also, my PCP put me on depakote and that has seemed to help, so...I dunno, I seem to fit the BP bill pretty well.

Oh, and creatively, I'm a guitarist/composer and software architect/engineer. I know all about feeling lost. Finding a forum like this has helped me tremendously.

Good luck!

Welcome to PC Heather. I think it is great that you and your partner are charting your moods. BTW I am so happy for you that your partner is so supportive as it can be very helpful. All the information you can give the pdoc will be beneficial.

Please give yourself some time to adjust to the dx. Remember you have not changed, maybe someone associated a dx to something you have always had. I know the stigma is a bit hard to overcome but as the others have stated there are a preponderance of creative people that are associated with bipolar disorder. I am sure you will come to terms in your own way.

Let us know how your consult goes. Take care.

Hi, I welcome you as well. I am newly DXed and on one hand I now know why I have done the things I have done over the years, on the other hand knowing I have an illness that has contributed to those things has been tough. There is a solution that I can see on the horizon, and from what I have read here sometimes that solution can take a long time. So, be patient and tell me to be patient when I am flipping out! As others have said, ask for help. That is hard for me to do. Again, welcome.

Thanks all for your welcome.

It is so reassuring to know that you're not alone and to be able to share thoughs/feelings/info etc.

As for creativity - I'm a writer although I haven't been able to work for the past few months as I couldn't cope with the structure of a 'job' . But I've been plugging away at home.

I also sing with various choirs and I find that's a really good way for me to let off some energy without harming others/myself!

I'm going to do a bit more exploring of the board today and learn more about the board abbreviations - please bear with me.

I'm also having a pretty high day, so am jumping from one task to another and getting in a pickle.

SLOW down Heather! LOL!

Dear Heather, Welcome to the Board. I am fairly new here, as well and have bp. I have been diagnosed for 15 years and have been medicated properly for about 10 years and doing very well and working. You will get to the bottom of this with a psychiatrist, for sure. And it is great that you are keeping track of your moods. Make sure you don't drink any alcohol as it is a depressant and will affect your mood and throw it off. Congratulations for taking care of yourself!

Hello and welcome to PC. I hope things get better for you soon. I sincerely feel that if you get diagnised you will feel better with your mood swings, also I would suggest a physical to rule out and physical reasons for your depression ( I have hormonal depression). and therapy so that you have well rounded treatment. I take medication for depression and I function at a very high level, and I feel that if you get the treatment you need you will hopefully feel more in control and more functionable. I am very glad that you have found this site it is very informative and supportive. Take care sincerly Soidhonia