[wachiki92]

I've always felt depressed for at least a few weeks and considered seeking therapy but a few days or weeks later I felt fine and wondered why I ever considered therapy in the first place. like I was never depressed in the first place. I became inspired to work harder in school and to clean around the house and go to more parties and to be more social even with people I didn't know. even in the last year I've had times where I become more social as well as sexual. I'm completely in love with my bf of 2 years and want to marry him but there have been times where I've doubted want to be with him and think I have missed out on sleeping around and being adventurous. Before I bought a car I've even rented a car and driven 5 hours to sleep with a guy and a few of his friends. What a waste of money. just like the time I had sex with a guy on the greyhound bus who I was completely attracted to just because I could and I was feeling sexual. the worst feeling of all is the one I have now- feeling depressed like I want to break down and cry and yet I have felt extremely agitated and have thrown punches or kicked without a single thought. not my normal lay in bed and sleep of watch tv depression. this happens every few months. I just had an appt with my psychiatrist own what to do. maybe I should just gIve unto a. mood stabilizer. just felt like venting.

[Talanic]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way If you can find a good mood stabilizer it can honestly help A LOT. Just don't give up.

Don't give up on the idea of therapy. Sometimes I feel the same way. But I think it's important to have that as a constant in your life no matter what stage you're in. Even if you walk in with nothing to talk about it's still good to be seeing someone. It's important to have all the support you can get.

I'll tell you though, I've definitely had moments where the level of how sexual I am has gone way up. I think it's kind of common.

[littlemiss44]

The sexual adventures are signs of bp2 and bpd. In my opinion you really need to seek out t and see a.pdoc. mood stabilizers do wonders for me. Being sexually active sounds like it's reckless behavior. I'm not putting you down by any means. I've done EXACTLY what you've done. Have you felt the urge to have sex with men other than yr bf? How long have you had these symptoms. If we're unmedicated the symptoms can switch from hypo mania to depression from a week to several weeks. Have you seen a pdoc? Please take care of yr self. Get some help asap. Let us know how things are going. Hugs

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[wachiki92]

Im currently seeing a pdoc and am taking the antidepressants I was prescribed when I was 15. I have repeatedly stopped taking them on my own and then started retaking them (about 3 times) when I began to feel out of control again. They give me some short term relief from the depression but it never lasts too long and Ive always had to get frequent increases in dosage. A past pdoc wanted to put me on abilify or a mood stabilizer but I didnt want to because Id heard of the possible side effects and blood tests, but based off other peoples experiences theyre not all like this. cost is an issue too as I am not on health insurance at the moment. I was always a moody child and would throw horrible temper tantrums. I broke my moms car windshield once in a rage. everyone said they thought I had the bipolar gene that runs in my family even back then. I had my first major depressive episode when I was 12. When I was 15 my parents sent me to pdoc and I was diagnosed with major depression. 6 months ago I was diagnosed with bp2. I actually regret to say I have had sex with other guys while being with him. At the times I didnt want to know if I wanted to be with him and not thinking clearly I was focusing on other guys I was attracted to and gave in without the blink of an eye. Im just having a really hard time right now and am tired of the mood cycles.

[catsrhelm]

Originally Posted by wachiki92

Im currently seeing a pdoc and am taking the antidepressants I was prescribed when I was 15. I have repeatedly stopped taking them on my own and then started retaking them (about 3 times) when I began to feel out of control again. They give me some short term relief from the depression but it never lasts too long and Ive always had to get frequent increases in dosage. A past pdoc wanted to put me on abilify or a mood stabilizer but I didnt want to because Id heard of the possible side effects and blood tests, but based off other peoples experiences theyre not all like this. cost is an issue too as I am not on health insurance at the moment. I was always a moody child and would throw horrible temper tantrums. I broke my moms car windshield once in a rage. everyone said they thought I had the bipolar gene that runs in my family even back then. I had my first major depressive episode when I was 12. When I was 15 my parents sent me to pdoc and I was diagnosed with major depression. 6 months ago I was diagnosed with bp2. I actually regret to say I have had sex with other guys while being with him. At the times I didnt want to know if I wanted to be with him and not thinking clearly I was focusing on other guys I was attracted to and gave in without the blink of an eye. Im just having a really hard time right now and am tired of the mood cycles.

You may have to be put on a mood stabilizer and Abilify. Even though I have to have my blood work done once every six months, the combination of the medications works well for me.
You will get over your guilt. If you don't keep a journal, try that.

[wachiki92]

I've tried keeping a journal but I just get out of the habit of it. I've even tried setting an alarm for it. Sometimes I'm just so depressed that I dont even feel like I want to write. Which is bad because one of my favorite hobbies is writing poetry. Part of the reason I dont like medication. I feel like I'm more creative and my emotions flow so much easier that I write so much better. Like theres noting holding me back.