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#1
May 04, 2014, 07:15 PM
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*******trigger warning ****** I forgot to add te icon.
my husband just told me he has a painkiller problem. Took 40 Vicodin in three days. On top of his fentanyl patch. He got hurt about a year ago and has been on painkillers ever since. And of course I'm a freaking nut job so that is awesome. Oh no it isn't, that's right. I'm so ****ed. I don't have any idea what to do. I'm running around like a lunatic scrubbing floors and **** while he apparently decided to stay stoned all day. Yesterday I knew something was wrong but he told me it was just the muscle relaxer...which are also addictive. **** me, right? I don't know what to do. He said it's only been in the last month when I happened to be swirling around the edges of psychosis until I got sucked down. From stress,'I might add. This sounds like I'm being a selfish ***** right now but I don't know what the **** to do. My meds aren't doing ****, how can I be strong for him! How do I help him? I mean I'm calling his doctor tomorrow. He said he will but I'm not sure. I'm also goig to call all the friends he get **** from. I knew this whole thing was fishy....the disappearing of the pills...how many times can thy get stolen? Really? Someone spilled coffee on them? And I allowed him to buy from the street. What horrible person does that and doesn't think why? He swore he was telling the truth and he never lies to me. Until now. And I missed it all because I thought he was tryig to control me with meds so I shut him out. What kind of an asshole am I? But this is NOT ABOUT ME WHY CANT I GET THAT THROUGH MY THICK HEAD? I galivanted around all ****ing summer, all school year long, hospital therapy meds no meds psychosis. If I had taken Better care of myself instead of pretending I would have seen this. One ER trip a month? Because magically, pills disappeared and what else were we gonna do? **** THIS. Someone tell me how to help him. Last week stress kicked off psychosis real ****ing fast. Now I'm on geodon. Will it keep working? Or will my son be down two parents? ****. I only posted here because I know many of you. If it has to be moved to another forum I'm ok. What do I do what do I do what do I do
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
 Angry1541, Anonymous45023, MagicsMom
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#2
May 04, 2014, 08:06 PM
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Wild, you are being too hard on yourself.
You trusted someone you love and they let you down That is not your fault. You are not to blame You can't help me, only he can help himself What you can do to help you with this is call Al-Anon They've been there and know what it is like Call right away |
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#3
May 04, 2014, 08:19 PM
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I'm with SUTM! It's not your fault. You're doing the best you can. Give yourself a break
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Diagnosed with Bipolar II, anxiety/panic with agoraphobia Meds: 400 mg Lamictal 300 mg Seroquel 200 Topamax 6 mg Klonopin |
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#4
May 04, 2014, 08:32 PM
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He says it's only gotten bad In the last two months. I believe him. He has never lied to me before and he said when he thought he had a problem he would tell me. He's been so supportive of me. Now I need to be supportive. Somehow when my head is spinning off in outer space.
This might kick me back to depression. Or I could be fine. Who knows.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
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#5
May 04, 2014, 09:18 PM
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I am no therapist, but I have an idea.
First, take it one day at a time. Next, once you and your husband decide on an clear, defined goals, then put together a plan to accomplish those goals. Doing this can only enhance communication ands make the other aware of how they can help the situation. And also this can communicate what each person can realistically do. Then follow through with the plan a day at a time. There will be upsets from either of you. However, just making the commitment can help allot. I would seek professional help if the two of you cannot do this on your own. This can turn out to be a major hurdle for both of you. There may be free help in the community in the form of the counseling for addicts. There are allot of them out there you know. Just being able to work on your problems together in any way I think would be a big accomplishment. Its like a person once told me: breathe in, breathe out, out with the bad air and in with the good air. I hope this helps! We are here for you! 
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Bipolar II and GAD Venlafaxine, Lamotragine, Buspirone, Risperidone |
 wildflowerchild25
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#6
May 04, 2014, 09:35 PM
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 he's going to need detox. Do you have anyone that can watch the kids for a little. That way you both can get back on your feet. Its not your responsibility to be strong for his mental health. Right now you both need as much outside support as possible. If you don't have someone to care for the kids have the Dr write a script saying your children need day care until 6 pm and go after daycare assistance. Get them into sports if possible. This is not your fault or his it's just a ****** situation.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| wildflowerchild25
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#7
May 05, 2014, 12:16 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Bipolar II and GAD Venlafaxine, Lamotragine, Buspirone, Risperidone |
| wildflowerchild25
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#8
May 05, 2014, 06:46 AM
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Thanks so much for your replies. I've never had to deal with this before. My husband is the best person in the world for me and I love him dearly and I was very scared. But he wants to get help, truly. We have contacted the clinic where I was last week just to have a starting point. There's another clinic in the area that does addiction also. So we are working on that. Maybe a few days inpatient so he can detox safely then outpatient.
I actually feel eerily calm...I think my brain is in shock from the stress. Better than being a psychotic mess.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
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#9
May 05, 2014, 06:52 AM
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Thinking of you
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
"Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body?" "Those who feel the breath of sadness, sit down next to me. Those feel they're touched my madness, sit down next to me. Those who find themselves ridiculous, sit down next to me." |
| wildflowerchild25
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#10
May 05, 2014, 07:25 AM
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And just remember to breathe. Addiction isn't the end of the world, just like MI isn't the end of the world. I have confidence that you will both work through this. Just don't sacrifice your well-being to do so.
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"Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten" - G.K. Chesterton Dx- Bipolar Disorder I PTSD OCD Meds- I am currently Med Free 
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| wildflowerchild25
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#11
May 05, 2014, 09:45 AM
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Thank you all so much. I have worked it out with my sister In law so that she will watch my son so I can go to my therapy groups three times a week. I know it's not the end of the world and we can and will get through this together. He's determined to beat this and wiing to do anything it takes to do it.
Thanks I was just freaking out but I think I'm a little better now that we hVe both sides of the family on our side.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
| Hbomb0903, Victoria'smom
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#12
May 05, 2014, 10:49 AM
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It's wonderful when people suprise you with their support. We are all here for you as well. You are amazing and strong and will get through this!
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Bipolar II - ADHD ~A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?~ Albert Einstein |
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#13
May 05, 2014, 03:29 PM
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I don't want to start another thread but I have to put this out there. I feel like I'm being cosmically punished. That it's my penance to pay for being so horrible when I was young. What if it's one year for every year I ****ed up in? Then **** won't change until I'm 36.
I think that may be irrational.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
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#14
May 05, 2014, 05:52 PM
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Quote:
I can't say I'm perfect at practicing it, but I try... Instead of focussing on the bad things you did and that are happening, focus your thoughts on what you want and how you want it. It can't hurt and for me if it can give me a break from this negative reel that keeps trying to play in my head, I welcome it. Big hugs girl.
__________________
Bipolar II - ADHD ~A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?~ Albert Einstein |
| wildflowerchild25
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| wildflowerchild25
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#15
May 05, 2014, 08:32 PM
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It seems like you guys are all on more meds than me. I am on 200 Lamictal. Doc increases every month by 50mgs. When do you stop increasing the meds? I just feel like my doc is going to say "okay, no more for you, you are unhelpable and so depressed that there are no answers for you." Am I abnormal? I don't feel happy or normal or anything. I just want my bed.
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#16
May 05, 2014, 08:59 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Bipolar II - ADHD ~A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?~ Albert Einstein |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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