I'm not well

IMy head kills, im in withdraw, I don't know which drug I'm withdrawing from, the welbutrin, or viibryd. I have some of both but dropped down to the med I was on before becoming depressed. I want to go home and be miserable in my own bed. I want to fling my sons laptop across the room and break the TV but it's not my house, not my TV. I'm voiceless because its not my home. I feel like I'm going to explode. I don't know if its the nausea, irrabillity, or my head that's going to explode first. Then my husbands trying to send me cute little messages through fb and I want to rip off his head. I'm trying so hard and I'm taking the seroquel. I want to flush everything, and break everything. I dont want the ****ing serouel.I'm hot I'm so mad. I tried to prevent this. Pdoc isn't available until the morning. I have to call him and tell him all the changes I did with my meds, convenience my father in law to pick up any meds. This is bs! I have coping skills. I want to crawl out of my skin.


And this is just the start. I have 2 weeks till I head home.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hate it when I have coping skills but I don't care and end up not using them. Can you journal or do something so that you feel like you have more control? That has helped me in the past, or doing something small like moving things around to where you want them. A slight bit of rebellion and control that doesn't hurt anyone or anything.

I really hope you feel better as soon as possible. It's horrible to feel like crap in a house other then your own. I completely understand that. I also totally understand not wanting "cute little messages" from a significant other when in a state like this. Sometimes it really doesn't help and can be overloading. I guess just try and see it as that people care for you (Easier said then done, right?).

I agree with Smmath, writing in a journal can help. Plus if you spill your heart in writing and burn it that can be pretty satisfying. I also find night air can help a little, maybe try opening a window and sitting next to it?. I find the more simple coping skills are the more you're able to do them when you're in a bad state.

Seriously, if you need a one on one talk feel free to message me. I know we don't know each other that well. But just know I'm here. Plus you seem like a really nice person. If not, it's okay. Either way I look forward to possibility getting to know you better.

You're in my thoughts.

Usually by this time my therapist would have about half an incoherent note book. She gets well over 200 pages of writing from me a year. She reads it all! Good thing she reads fast. I brought my therapy book ( holds mood/event / thought chart, psychosis comfort page, lined paper, and coloring pages) but I'm to embarrassed to ask my father in law to bring it in as it says 'CBT therapy book' ( the car could be parked miles away each day). I finally printed lined paper yesterday. I'm worried they'll find it and read it. They REALLY don't deserve my wrath.

I also totally understand not wanting "cute little messages" from a significant other I told him I stopped answering because I wanted to rip his head off. His response like always was to hug me tight an say something along the the lines "awe, my little hypomanic girl. Even when you want to rip my head off I still love you"

I hope things even out for you soon and you can get back to feeling good again. I know it's no fun going through the stuff you having to endure. But hold on to the fact you are loved and cared about. Right all you want and if anyone reads it so what. It's raw feelings and what better way to get them out of you than writing the down. Don't be afraid to ask your father-in-law to bring you CBT book if you need it. It's a good sign you want help. Best wishes to you.

Wow! You sound out of your element. I hope things turn around for you soon. Would a cyberhug help? Or are you not in the mood?

Just called ****ing receptionist told me how to properly go about speaking to my pdoc. I had to inform her that if I was in the area he'd want me just to walk in. Then she tells me my case is closed wtf? She eventually took my name and number for him to call me. Second time ever calling!!!!! Wtf last time they told me I didn't have a case. So I called the county I go to. Yep my case is still opened. :eyeroll: So I'm giving him until 2pm, I really wish I had my personal therapy note journal ( different journal then CBT journal) because it has my case # in it.

Another reason to be upset, sorry Mm. Can you get the case number elsewhere?

I emailed it to myself

Miguel'smom

I hope pdoc rings soon, and that you feel better. It especially sucks that you're not even in the comfort of your own home feeling this way

*Willow*

So here's what happens. Pdoc didn't call. I called at 3:30 and no answer. The receptionist this morning told me I was suppose to call my case worker. So instead I called my therapist because the whole case worker thing is blurry in my case. I left a raid fire message and at the end I couldn't remember the number so I said I'd call back. I got distracted and by the time I remembered to call I forgot what I said before. Not like she would understand anyway. So I wrote down word for word what I wanted to say and read it to her answer machine. Current mood: wonderful!!!!!!!

Wtf!!!!! Seriously, no one has called me back! I hate this, I'm so board and stuck in the house. By like 7 pm there's really no talking to me because my heads racing to much to follow others conversation. Currently SI sounds like the most awesome idea ever. I'm trying to remember that I get mad at scarification when I'm outside this type of mood. Can you take a PRN more than 1x a day?

I think it would depend on dosage and what exactly you're taking PRN

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What med is it and dose? You could google the max dose of your med - if taking your med twice is still under the max dose, then you should be ok, though there may be more side effects like sedation, but that's probably a good idea at this point. Keep calling until someone rings you back! Writing a script is a good idea and I find it very helpful cos I get nervous on the phone and forget what I want to say.

I hope you stabilise soon

*Willow*

Seroquel 50 mg. It knocks me out for 7 hrs, I'm really sensitive meds. My husband kept me busy going "Do you want to do (activity)?" "What about (activity)?" But while doing that he was holding me in bed until I passed out. So I took a half hour nap but rested for about 2hrs.

MM, I think your husband responded in a really sweet manner.

On that dose you should be fine to take it twice but I would still try to get ahold of your pdoc to make sure. When I was on seroquel I was taking 200mg.

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Seroquel monotherapy has been studied up to 900 mgs. Still, that doesn't mean it won't interact with your other meds or cause unexpected effects. Taking meds outside of how you were prescribed them is best handled with a call to the pdoc.

I just stopped by to give you a hug. I hope you are well soon. You have always helped me out in rough times so I hope you get the stability you deserve.

That's the thing its a PRN. I messed up and caused a fight with him right after dinner about his sister being ****ed up in front of his parents. He's mom stepped in to calm me down. I'm so lucky they love me and weren't angry.

My drug book talks about different uses in BP as a monothearpy, but doesn't have any information on the PRN usage of it. I am also just a tech and don't really do anything with medicine outside of what the doctor orders. So as TheatreKid said I personally wouldn't make any changes to it with out consulting your pdoc as it could interfere with another med or do something adverse.

Miguels'mom, I've been meaning to ask. How is it you went out of town for an extended trip without all of your meds?

We can only pick up meds 2 days before we're out so we had enough for a week but that still wouldn't be enough any way. Were going from here to fl. So I won't be home until June 1st. My husband neglected to inform me his celexa was out I have no clue how long he hasn't taken it.

I though i could transfer the meds to this state but my insurance wont pay for it then. I go through a private company so they're just like we can't transfer out of state. Also when transfering to this state all refills go away. I'm missing my 40 mg viibryd and 150 mg lamictal. I started to take my sons lamictal and my extra 20 mg viibryd. My husbands missing his celexa and lamictal also taking my sons lamictal. The funny thing is we have a ton of welbutrin, abilify, seroquel and former meds. My only guess is we took our psych meds in the morning and they're on the table at home. We have all of my husbands heart meds and all of my sons meds.

Plus my pdoc had to reschedule so I don't have any refills anyway. That's his way of keeping me coming back. I was already sleeping for less than 3 hrs for a little over a week before that so I'm trying to cut myself a little slack. I wasn't really taking my PRN then. I think everything going on when we left my cousin in laws graduation and 16 people in our house and all of us leaving together didn't help.

I seriously don't need to go manic here. I've already messed up yesterday really don't need to mess up today but a little over an hour nap last night is not going to help. Plus I'm getting really mad pdoc hasn't called. I'm glad I took meds into my own hands because it wouldn't have been good if not.

Miguel'smom

I don't think doubling your seroquel to 100mg is bad right now as you really need to get some sleep. I am disappointed that your pdoc hasn't called you back yet though :/ I hope that you get your meds sorted asap

*Willow*

Usually PRN's are good every 4-6 hours but yes it depends on what you're doc is recommending. I've been known to take 50mg Seroquel but it would be irresponsible for anyone to tell you to go ahead. There are so many factors to consider. We are supporters not doctors. Sounds like you have some really good support if possible use them as you would a PRN. I had a pretty bad afternoon but rather than taking my PRN, I call called one of the people in my support circle. I'm not 100%n but better than I was before with no med side effects.
Hang in there