[Skitz13]

Can anyone tell me why it is that when you're well, you get all the support in the world. Being told "i'm so proud of you, you're doing so well." Then when things start to change and you feel more alone than ever, people just vanish. They say they don't know what to say. This is not supportive and comes from a family member. I don't tell people about my BP for these exact reasons. I have NO support whatsoever in these times and just makes the illness because you have no choice but to isolate.
I would just love it if 1 or 2 people would just say I don't understand but I'm here for you.
I'm going through a mixed state right now and I'm having such a horrible time with it. Saw my new psychiatrist and I told her that I wasn't going to go back on a mood stabilizer but she increased the Seroquel.
In these times of sadness, fear and confusion it would be nice to have support.

[Talanic]

I can understand about talking and then people just don't know what to say. I don't really tell many people about everything as well. I even lost a friend because he got tired of me looking for support from him and talking about how bad I feel T_T. So I understand.

I'm sorry... People can be kind of... well... A**holes. People tend to do that on things they don't understand, and can get "uncomfortable".

But you have support here and you have my support. We're all people that can understand and I've found that it's helped me a lot. It's given me the opportunity to learn to open up more. I hope the Seroquel does at least something to help.

If you need a new friend or just need to vent, my door is always open. Feel free to send me a message

[Skitz13]

Thanks for your reply Talanic
This is all so new to me. Not so much the BP but the mixed episode is terrifying for me, I've never experienced one before, feels like more than I can handle and having to deal with it alone makes it so much harder. I just joined psychcentral for the support I need. I'm hoping this is going to be a good experience and I can get the support I desperately need.
I will keep your offer in mind

[Trippin2.0]

Have you explicitly expressed your needs to friends/family?

Have you said, "I know you can't understand but I need you to just be present for me when I'm struggling", or something similar but equally detailed?

The reason I ask is this, people can't smell eachother's needs, and when there's an especially complex issue, its hard to try and figure out just how to be supportive.

If you have expressed your needs and you're still hearing "I'm sorry Idk what to say to you" then I think its time you rethink your supportive cast members...

Of course people are readily supportive when we're doing well, a pat on the back is appropriate and easy to hand out, but when they're dealing with things that are out of their depth, they need a push in the right direction and some readily available information.

Many of us deal with this beast alone, I too suffered in silence for years, until I learned to recognise and identify the type of support I was actually getting, and until I learned I need to ask for specific types of help.

But when I want someone who actually gets what I'm saying and can relay how they coped in the same shoes, that's when I come here.

Here are lots of friendly, knowledgable and supportive folks on the Bipolar Express with you

I'm sorry you're having such a scary episode, you can post about it here if you like, maybe get some feedback?

[wing]

Mixed episodes are the worst. I hope it's over soon. Mine last about 10 days and i isolate in pure hell. Trippin' says it all.

[Can-I-Say]

I can definitely empathize with this feeling, though maybe we're simply more receptive to support and praise when we're feeling good about ourselves.

I know that the times that I feel the most gratitude are when I have friends and family rallying around me as I make productive and positive strides to change my life for the better in spite of my illness...

and sometimes, when things are going especially badly, even when my mother or my best friend, or whoever, is standing in front of me saying "I'm here for you, I'll help you any way I can", it only makes me feel more isolated and angry, mocked, and patronized.

It's strange.

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Have you explicitly expressed your needs to friends/family?

Have you said, "I know you can't understand but I need you to just be present for me when I'm struggling", or something similar but equally detailed?

The reason I ask is this, people can't smell eachother's needs, and when there's an especially complex issue, its hard to try and figure out just how to be supportive.

If you have expressed your needs and you're still hearing "I'm sorry Idk what to say to you" then I think its time you rethink your supportive cast members...

Of course people are readily supportive when we're doing well, a pat on the back is appropriate and easy to hand out, but when they're dealing with things that are out of their depth, they need a push in the right direction and some readily available information.

Many of us deal with this beast alone, I too suffered in silence for years, until I learned to recognise and identify the type of support I was actually getting, and until I learned I need to ask for specific types of help.

But when I want someone who actually gets what I'm saying and can relay how they coped in the same shoes, that's when I come here.

Here are lots of friendly, knowledgable and supportive folks on the Bipolar Express with you

I'm sorry you're having such a scary episode, you can post about it here if you like, maybe get some feedback?

You are absolutely right. I'm not being clear about what I need. I was diagnosed 25 years ago but remained in denial and quite honestly would be in the depths of my illness and I was incapable of recognizing the signs. I had my first episode of wellness for about 6 months and I worked hard to maintain that wellness with a lot of therapy. This time around I am so much more aware and more frightened than ever because I am so aware of what's coming. I also try and hide my symptoms because I'm ashamed that I'm becoming unwell again. So really this is my own fault because out of the blue I become very unstable in the eyes of others and I think they're shocked because I don't share when I see it coming. I already decided this morning that I need to come clean with this family member, lay it out for her and yes, tell her what I need during these episodes. Having said that, this mixed episode is very new for me and I don't even know what I need right now. I'm really having a hard time maintaining clarity.
First step is being real about it all to myself and then to my select others. Thank you so much for your reply, you really made me think and I'm so grateful to have stumbled over this site.

[Trippin2.0]

You're most welcome, I'm happy to have been able to help!