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#1
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What does being stable. actually mean and consist of? Maybe a better question would be is this. I'm on 1000 mg Depacote daily. I still have insomnia, I still get irratable easy, I still have periods of extreme up and extreme down, and I still am getting bad thoughts every now and then. I am only 7 months into this with 30+ years unmedicated. Am I being way too impatient, or do I need to seek a different treatment route?
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![]() BipolaRNurse, Victoria'smom
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#2
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I understand what you're saying. It's taken me two solid years to get to a point where I can say I'm in full remission, and even so, I can't say I'm stable because it's only been a couple of months since my last episode. Impatient? You better believe it. I am so sick of losing bits and pieces of myself to this illness it's not even funny. I've lost friendships, respect, even jobs because of it. So yeah, I'm damned impatient, and if my current combination of meds turns out NOT to be the Holy Grail after all, I'm going to be furious!!
That being said, what "stable" looks like to me is long periods of being able to carry on about my business every day without symptoms. That doesn't mean never getting angry or having a bad day, it means those things happen sometimes without me being triggered and going into orbit. It means not thinking about bipolar all the time or always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. It means dealing with life on MY terms, not those of the illness. If you're still not sleeping well and you're having lots of symptoms, you aren't yet on the right treatment. Unfortunately this IS a recurring illness and we will get sick from time to time even if we're perfect in our self-care, but it doesn't have to be a battle every single day. I would definitely talk to your pdoc ASAP and then keep experimenting until you arrive at the right combination of meds. Most of us need more than one to control symptoms. In the meantime, make sure to go to bed and get up at the same times every day, try to eat at the same times every day too and make a routine for yourself. This helps reset your body clock and will eventually even out your sleep patterns, which is very important in the management of BP. Please be patient with yourself. You didn't ask for this disease, it's not your fault that you have it. Don't expect to be 'fixed' so quickly either; it takes some BPs literally years to stabilize, so the fact that you're still having symptoms 7 months in isn't as bad as you think. And always remember, no matter how bad you feel on a given day, that this too shall pass. It always does.
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DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
![]() Anonymous100166
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![]() UcancallmeB3tty
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#3
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Me sitting around bored out of my ghord isn't helping. An old friend of mine is always saying that I need to get out, but no one seems to tolerate me long, but that is a mutual feeling. That's something I've talked with my therapist about. Just like a couple of weeks ago I came unglued in a very crowded fast food joint a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't get out of the door fast enough before I was cussing out loud, and God knows I don't need police or jail mixed into this. In fact, I'm very fortunate that my verbal outbursts haven't gotten me in legal issues in the past. However, it has gotten me fired at 3 jobs over a 9 year period. So I go around in fear and paranoia that they're just waiting to nail me when it will be at my weakest moment.
I am greatly appreciative of your responses back. |
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