[venusss]

Discussion elsewhere made me think....

so when I am manic, I read books and argue with them, try to construct political theories, write, shoot off to astral travels, i think and think and think and think...

yes, I sometimes get lusty, but never outright horny-throwing-myself-on-strangers....

am I the only one who doesn't have the hypersexual side?

[catsrhelm]

No. I too am not hypersexual. If anything I am on the other end of the spectrum.(I just don't want it.)

[Twigs92]

Wow I thought I was the only one who did that. I don't really either, I have an intense fear of being that physically close to someone. However I will study and read politics for hours and hours and play it over in my mind, construct ideas, think of theories etc. What kind of politics do you like?

[HALLIEBETH87]

I have at one time done things I regret but only once!

[venusss]

I am fascinated in theories war and peace (interventions, democratic peace theory), the neo-theories (neorealism, neoliberalism, institucionalism)... and of coursr post-modernism.

I love the field of international relations overall.

No, I don't get that way either. I tend to get super task-oriented, hperfocused and tunnel-visioned on whatever topic/idea I'm stuck on at that moment, etc.

[crazycatlady_83]

I seriously just logged in to write about this! I think it's due to the Geodon that I'm taking, but I only want sex maybe once a month, sometimes longer, with my husband. I'm not thinking about being with anyone else or anything like that, I just don't want to do it. Sometimes the thought of it makes me sick and turns me off. And it's not because I don't love my husband. But I'm not able to tell him that I love him all the time, either. Our anniversary was earlier this month and we went out of town to a baseball game as our gift to ourselves. I know what he expected when we got back to the hotel, and I spent the entire day thinking about what he would be expecting, and I have every intention of doing it. But when it came right down to it, I just couldn't. I also was exhausted from getting up at 5am and staying up until almost midnight, which could be a good excuse. But it still gets to him and saddens him. Then it ruins the rest of the day. The entire 2 1/2 hour ride home was in silence, compared to the ride up there where we had a conversation going the entire time. It really brings me down, too when he gets like that because I know what he's thinking and it feels like there's nothing I can do about it. I hate it but I don't know how to change it.

[liamellie]

No your not the only one, my fiancé is exactly the same..even when she comes down from a hyper manic episode, she takes coke to try & life her spirit up & that stuff makes people flat out horny but not her. With me she is always horny but that's the way our relationship is, but as for the hyper manic episodes she can't handle being around
males because she thinks they are all going to try it on with her..she over thinks it so much that when it actually comes to us being alone she freezes up..it has got her in Trouble in The passed where she got raped by someone..also with her childhood issues that is a part of life that she is terrified of..she is so un promiscuous, that is one of the reasons I love her so much..when she is in one of her episodes she is so scared of that happening again that she cuts herself off from everyone..I'm a different ball game though, we did have a perfect sex life but since that happened to her she hates being around males.. Even me on times. I actually waited for over a year with no sex just to prove to her that it's her I love and I'm not with her for one thing..now she is off the cocaine she has no confidence. All her life she has been used & abused..now she is with me All that has stopped..I'm doing everything in my power to try and help her get her life back on track and to realise that she doesn't have to do ANYTHING that she dosent want to.. Even when she is horny she is to afraid to mention it incase someone tries to take advantage of it..she is so up & down that she don't know when she's horny or not, she can't identify it.. I know when she is frustrated that she is horny,but she dosent know what that means because it's a part of her life that she has never been in control of until she met me..she hasn't gotto be afraid to mention it to me because I love her & won't do anything she dosent want me to do..I'm the only person that she has willingly given herself to..I'm not bi polar but she is, it must be terrifying to feel like that but be to scared to say anything to anyone..anyway, I'll never let anyone hurt her as long as I'm alive & I'll love her & protect her & keep her safe until there is no breath left in my body..

[LUNARMIST7]

Originally Posted by crazycatlady_83

I seriously just logged in to write about this! I think it's due to the Geodon that I'm taking, but I only want sex maybe once a month, sometimes longer, with my husband. I'm not thinking about being with anyone else or anything like that, I just don't want to do it. Sometimes the thought of it makes me sick and turns me off. And it's not because I don't love my husband. But I'm not able to tell him that I love him all the time, either. Our anniversary was earlier this month and we went out of town to a baseball game as our gift to ourselves. I know what he expected when we got back to the hotel, and I spent the entire day thinking about what he would be expecting, and I have every intention of doing it. But when it came right down to it, I just couldn't. I also was exhausted from getting up at 5am and staying up until almost midnight, which could be a good excuse. But it still gets to him and saddens him. Then it ruins the rest of the day. The entire 2 1/2 hour ride home was in silence, compared to the ride up there where we had a conversation going the entire time. It really brings me down, too when he gets like that because I know what he's thinking and it feels like there's nothing I can do about it. I hate it but I don't know how to change it.

You've mentioned in a few posts that you can't tell your spouse that you love him. And though decreased libido is a side effect of BP meds, this is not a side effect of any medicine. You say you do love him and even had every intention of being sexual with him but didn't. What I would suggest is looking at the situation through his view. You know how you feel and what you are thinking. He only knows what you show. And it sounds like you are showing little to nothing in the way of love. I'm assuming that you take your meds every day even though you don't really feel like it. You take them because they make you feel better right?? So there is something you can do about it. If you truly love your husband you need to tell and show him every chance you get because from your mention of him in other posts, he sounds like a real keeper.

[TheatreKid]

I have an errrr.... healthy solo sex life? I'm not really interested in sharing that with other people (physical closeness yes, sex not so much) but once or twice while manic I'll get focused on sex, but it's not about the sex, it's about the conquest, which sounds horrible. I still wouldn't do anything damaging to the other person, against anyone's will, or illegal. I hate the stereotype that manic people are horrible self-centered destruction machines.

[liamellie]

Manic people aren't self centred destruction machines at all,they have so much going through their minds that they don't realise what their doing until it's mostly to late.. My fiancé is the most loving person in the world when she's herself, but when she goes manic she will so such silly things to get attention,but mostly it's negative attention..I'm not going to talk about our sex life as I don't feel comfortable plus I wouldn't talk about her that way..in a manic phase people don't realise it but sometimes it seems like their being selfish,but it isn't intentional.its a case of being so wrapped up in what's going on in your head that you can't focus on anything else,it's all about the here & now,not realising anything else,even though there mostly are consequences.. outsiders don't see it that way.. You have to understand the illness to know that..

Originally Posted by liamellie

No your not the only one, my fiancé is exactly the same..even when she comes down from a hyper manic episode, she takes coke to try & life her spirit up & that stuff makes people flat out horny but not her. With me she is always horny but that's the way our relationship is, but as for the hyper manic episodes she can't handle being around
males because she thinks they are all going to try it on with her..she over thinks it so much that when it actually comes to us being alone she freezes up..it has got her in Trouble in The passed where she got raped by someone..also with her childhood issues that is a part of life that she is terrified of..she is so un promiscuous, that is one of the reasons I love her so much..when she is in one of her episodes she is so scared of that happening again that she cuts herself off from everyone..I'm a different ball game though, we did have a perfect sex life but since that happened to her she hates being around males.. Even me on times. I actually waited for over a year with no sex just to prove to her that it's her I love and I'm not with her for one thing..now she is off the cocaine she has no confidence. All her life she has been used & abused..now she is with me All that has stopped..I'm doing everything in my power to try and help her get her life back on track and to realise that she doesn't have to do ANYTHING that she dosent want to.. Even when she is horny she is to afraid to mention it incase someone tries to take advantage of it..she is so up & down that she don't know when she's horny or not, she can't identify it.. I know when she is frustrated that she is horny,but she dosent know what that means because it's a part of her life that she has never been in control of until she met me..she hasn't gotto be afraid to mention it to me because I love her & won't do anything she dosent want me to do..I'm the only person that she has willingly given herself to..I'm not bi polar but she is, it must be terrifying to feel like that but be to scared to say anything to anyone..anyway, I'll never let anyone hurt her as long as I'm alive & I'll love her & protect her & keep her safe until there is no breath left in my body..

You sound like you really care for and love your partner, but please be aware that some of your post is a little offensive (if I'm understanding what you wrote correctly). When you say that your gf's behavior 'got her into trouble' i.e., she was raped, it implies that her behavior somehow instigated the event. While it's true one can put themselves at a greater risk by drinking, doing drugs, going out alone etc., the blame should always be placed 110% on the (criminal misogynist asshole mother****ing) rapist, and not the rape victim - no matter how drunk, high, stoned, or 'crazy' they may be. I hope she doesn't feel she is at fault for the violence perpetrated upon her.

[liamellie]

Didn't mean any offence, sorry you took it that way, what I meant was she is "WAS" so knieve & trusting.. But around the wrong people before I met her..she is not promiscuous in the slightest, and she does blame herself even though I reassure her it's not her fault.. It is heartbreaking to see her the way she is.

[liamellie]

She hasn't a bad bone in her body & used to think everyone was the same..I'll never let anything bad happen to her ever again, I will die first..

[crazycatlady_83]

Originally Posted by LUNARMIST7

You've mentioned in a few posts that you can't tell your spouse that you love him. And though decreased libido is a side effect of BP meds, this is not a side effect of any medicine. You say you do love him and even had every intention of being sexual with him but didn't. What I would suggest is looking at the situation through his view. You know how you feel and what you are thinking. He only knows what you show. And it sounds like you are showing little to nothing in the way of love. I'm assuming that you take your meds every day even though you don't really feel like it. You take them because they make you feel better right?? So there is something you can do about it. If you truly love your husband you need to tell and show him every chance you get because from your mention of him in other posts, he sounds like a real keeper.

I'm not sure why I can't show him or tell him I love him. I can guess that it's because I'm a private person and don't really like to show affection in front of other people. My parents never did that, so maybe that's why I'm not comfortable with doing it. But I have changed since my diagnosis because I would be more affectionate to him when we were first dating and married. I would always tell him I love him and hold hands everywhere we went. Now we've just gotten in the habit of not holding hands in public, it's like a special occasion when I do grab his hand.

[Trippin2.0]

No you're not the only one
While I do sometimes have quite a heightened sex drive (which is already naturally high), it never occurs to me to look anywhere besides my bf.

[Can-I-Say]

I know people who suffer from bipolar disorder who don't deal with hypersexuality, but I'm not one of them.

On the contrary, it has become one of the most debilitating symptoms for me.

[LUNARMIST7]

Originally Posted by crazycatlady_83

it's like a special occasion when I do grab his hand.

This is a very sad sentence.

Have you talked to your PDOC or therapist about how to work through your intimacy issues? They don't sound to me like they are side effects of your meds.

[Taylerkaeb]

I have zero sex drive, it really affects my relationship with my boyfriend.

[outlaw sammy]

My problem is that it's a problem nearly all the time (except when in severe pain), and when I'm hypomanic or manic, it gets worse. Strangely, in the past when I'd get drunk, I'd loose all my sex drive.

[Twigs92]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

I am fascinated in theories war and peace (interventions, democratic peace theory), the neo-theories (neorealism, neoliberalism, institucionalism)... and of coursr post-modernism.

I love the field of international relations overall.

I know what you mean, I remember first being interested in world politics when the US and UK were invading Iraq as it really scared me (I was 8 though). Postmodernism is amazing, along with neo-gramscianism. I'm painfully aware that most of my classes revolve around neo-gramscian theory, so I always find it really hard to understand neo-liberlism as a theory that can work in practice.
What is institucionalism? Is that like poststructuralism and Foucault's power theories?

[venusss]

Originally Posted by Twigs92

I know what you mean, I remember first being interested in world politics when the US and UK were invading Iraq as it really scared me (I was 8 though). Postmodernism is amazing, along with neo-gramscianism. I'm painfully aware that most of my classes revolve around neo-gramscian theory, so I always find it really hard to understand neo-liberlism as a theory that can work in practice.
What is institucionalism? Is that like poststructuralism and Foucault's power theories?

Institutionalism focuses on roles of institutions and how they regulated the interantional system. I am on and off about that (especially regarding institutions like the EU...).

My studies focused a lot on strategic studies (we had a class called Security in nuclear age.......... it was about nukes and all the fascinating stuff. I spend few nights looking at videos of nuclear tests. And bothered a lot of people with talking about nukes....)

I get hyperfocused on the world events (right now it's Ukraine obviously, for so many reasons, before that I wouldn't sleep glue to Al Jazeera's livestream from the middle east).

I came with term for myself, a politicore (short for political emocore ). I get really into it. It helped me through my studies.... but it hindered me as well.

[Angry1541]

Interesting thread....curious what men think, as I am guessing biologically most on this thread are female.

I tend to get horny when hypomanic -- and I find myself 'looking' at women around me with more sexual thoughts than normal...I don't act on them, but I do notice my thought tend toward more lust-like.

Glad I am professional enough to not active out any of my thoughts...though as a younger single man I did now and then.

[bumble2u]

Hyper-sexuality Is probably the only part of bipolar that my husband wishes I had and I cannot even get that right.

[Skitz13]

I get hyper-sexual but I have a "go to person." I would hope that I never get to the point of going with some stranger. That scares me