Working a job

I have had a hard time performing decently on a job. Cannot take any stress, lots of anxiety, no confidence, trouble concentrating, social anxiety not wanting to be watched. Now I am a nanny. I do love children, so it's not overly stressful to me. I have held this job for a year. I did some housecleaning before that, but have arthritic knees and hands. There was another topic on the forum about what you would be if not having BP. I have about three years of college, so it has been disappointing not achieving too much, bur I did know when I was in my late teens I couldn't handle much stress. Sorry to ramble, but how do some of you manage to work?

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I forgot to mention that I get really irritable on a job and resent being told what to do. Control issues since I was emotionally abused by my father and ex-husband.

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For me a big thing to enable me to work is to be part time. I have tried to work full time a couple of times and always end up in a huge episode because of the stress. There are some challenges that come with only working part time (mainly money, but benefits also).

I also have to be open with my boss so that way I can get accommodations as needed. Right now I am working 24 hours a week and every once and a while I will pick up an extra shift if I feel that I can, which with my bosses permission just requires me to phone her and she will write me in. This has been very good for me.

I also don't do well with being told what to do, but what I find works well for me is just to get a list of all things I have to do and then create my own work order out of them. I tend to get more done by doing this.

I work full-time but I am on intermittent FMLA. I go thru the same problems as you do. I'm so up and down. I get irritable, can't stand to be around people at times, can't focus, memory issues, etc. I feel awful and guilty when I miss work, but I don't know what else to do. At times I just feel like I can't do it. My husband works with me, so when it is bad my way of managing is going to him to rant about my issues, but I'm lucky in that sense. Sometimes I have to go in the bathroom and just cry about it when I am alone. I don't know if this is how one should manage, but I know no other way.

Imagine how it would be by skipping our medications.

I had to call out of work for a day last week...I needed a break. It's super stressful at work and we are short staffed.

I have to psych myself up in the mornings to go to work, putting my game face on

I will sit in my bedroom for a few minutes and remind myself
of the coping skills that I need to get through the day.

Black - I do the same thing. I sit in the bathroom and cry

I haven't done well with work in a couple of years. Working part-time would be ideal, but I can't afford to. Full-time takes too much out of me and all I want to do on my days off is collapse in the La-Z-Boy and veg out.

I think 4 days a week would be just about right. It's not the 40-hour week I have a problem with, it's the five-day week. I used to do 10-hour days and I liked it. That fifth day is what gets me---by Friday I just don't have anything left to give. So I'm looking for something that will give me flexible hours and a four-day schedule; maybe then I'll be able to survive until I can retire.

Thanks for sharing. I am tearing up reading this. I do better part time also. But I can't afford to live on my own. After my mom passes ib the future, I will have to go live with my son. Unless I can find a live in nanny situation, but I am not sure if that will work because of the hours. Hugs to you all.

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I had to do the same thing today. Same reasons as you plus some other stuff I mentioned in a different post on the check-in thread.

Part time. At night. By myself (and customers). My boss is actually terrific, overall - but every little thing she says to me sends me into a state of terror (I don't show it, of course). My co-workers are fabulous freaks.

I've found under the right circumstances, I can usually hold down a job for about two years before things start to go wrong and I either quit or get fired. I'm amazed I last that long given the crap I've pulled. Probably because they're low paying crappy jobs.

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I hear you. I look back and think how did they ever put up with me. I drive my own self crazy, so I have to drive coworkers and bosses crazy. But my early years were low paying blue collar jobs. Due to a back injury, I got into retail sales for less physical. It started out well for a year because all I focused on was how much easier it was physically. But you can't mask mental health forever, so it would rear its ugly head from time to time. I'm still shocked at how I managed to hold 3 jobs for 3 years each after a hospitalization for suicide attempt all while acting no different.

Something, somewhere, somehow has caused me to lose all of my hope and change.

Well kudos to you all for being able to hold down a job. haven't worked in 3 years and would do anything to get back to being a productive member of siciety

You sound tougher than me, but I understand putting on the show... Wherever I go, I am constantly in trouble for poor attendance because not showing up is harder to get fired for than what I'd do if I went in... And I know I drive others crazy because they tell me outright. I'm doing great at my current job... since I haven't been there in 6 months. I'm currently hoping I can manage to get through school and then manage to function afterward.

You'll get there. Just keep hanging on. And remember, even if you aren't working, you are still bringing something to this world that no one else can.

In August I will have had this job for 13 years. I have had to go on stress leave twice and they were fabulous about it each time. It helps that my boss and I went to school together and she is well aware of my issues. It also helps that I work alone and am locked in the building by myself all night. If I need to cry I cry. I can do whatever I want as long as my task list is completed. I thank my lucky stars everyday that I lucked into this position. The sad part is it is the world's easiest job and it's still all I can handle. I have no life because it takes every bit of energy I have just to come in and keep it together. Hubby and doc constantly push me to apply for disability so I can have a life again. Just scared not to work I guess.