[liamellie]

My fiancé has been back in hospital for the last 3 weeks die to a hyper manic episode which she came crashing down from.. She hasn't spoken in almost all the time she's been away & she is being moved to a clinc soon where she is going to have "REDT" therapy "I think thats what it's called" that will HOPEFULLY help her move forward at last..apparently it's a new treatment for PTSS which she also has..she is stuck in the past & can't move forward with her life, she thinks I'm the strong one but really I HAVE TO BE for her.. I'm struggling here & I can't show her because she thinks I can cope with anything..
Had to talk about this because it's hard keeping it to myself
Thanks

[Victoria'smom]

You don't have to be strong here.

[liamellie]

I know that, thank you

[outlaw sammy]

Originally Posted by liamellie

My fiancé has been back in hospital for the last 3 weeks die to a hyper manic episode which she came crashing down from.. She hasn't spoken in almost all the time she's been away & she is being moved to a clinc soon where she is going to have "REDT" therapy "I think thats what it's called" that will HOPEFULLY help her move forward at last..apparently it's a new treatment for PTSS which she also has..she is stuck in the past & can't move forward with her life, she thinks I'm the strong one but really I HAVE TO BE for her.. I'm struggling here & I can't show her because she thinks I can cope with anything..
Had to talk about this because it's hard keeping it to myself
Thanks

I've always believed that the afflicted (of bipolar disorder) has a very tragic path to walk, but his/her partner bears a large portion of the heavy burden as well. You say that you have to be strong for her - and I agree, but who's going to be strong for you? Where do you turn for the strength to be strong for her? I turn to Our Creator, who's provided me with a dozen or more miracles throughout my life - and because your message has touched my heart, I will offer a mitzvah in prayer for you and your fiancé. You are never alone.

[liamellie]

Thank you very much outlaw sammy,I have to be strong for her, it's not really an option because she is the most important part of my life. She keeps me going & I keep her going.. I'm a confident headstrong person anyway. I have to be because of the job I do, but my fiancé is a different story.. Even if I'm having one of the worst days ever,I still manage to keep a smile on my face and put my Babygirl first and reassure her she's going to be okay, WE are going to be okay.. Even if at the time I don't believe it,I will still make her feel safe & find the strength to get her through the day..she's been back in hospital for the last 4 weeks tomorrow & hasn't spoken a word to anyone except me.. She don't talk to me, she holds me tight and cries when I am allowed to visit her, from the second I arrive there until the second I leave. It's so hard though. If I'm honest,I feel like crying with her but that would make her panic & think if I'm struggling that she has no chance.. I do whatever it takes to keep a straight face while I'm with her bit the second I get outside after the visit I jump in my car & I cry all the way home.. I wish I could swap places with her soon could take her pain away..I love her more than life, she loves me more than life & as long as I get her through the day I really dont care how I feel..I just HAVE TO BE STRONG, it's not an option. I hope she gets better soon. I miss her & she misses me so much it's heartbreaking ..thank you for praying for us..thank you very much, mean that from the bottom of my heart.

[liamellie]

Thank you

[outlaw sammy]

Originally Posted by liamellie

Thank you very much outlaw sammy,I have to be strong for her, it's not really an option because she is the most important part of my life. She keeps me going & I keep her going.. I'm a confident headstrong person anyway. I have to be because of the job I do, but my fiancé is a different story.. Even if I'm having one of the worst days ever,I still manage to keep a smile on my face and put my Babygirl first and reassure her she's going to be okay, WE are going to be okay.. Even if at the time I don't believe it,I will still make her feel safe & find the strength to get her through the day..she's been back in hospital for the last 4 weeks tomorrow & hasn't spoken a word to anyone except me.. She don't talk to me, she holds me tight and cries when I am allowed to visit her, from the second I arrive there until the second I leave. It's so hard though. If I'm honest,I feel like crying with her but that would make her panic & think if I'm struggling that she has no chance.. I do whatever it takes to keep a straight face while I'm with her bit the second I get outside after the visit I jump in my car & I cry all the way home.. I wish I could swap places with her soon could take her pain away..I love her more than life, she loves me more than life & as long as I get her through the day I really dont care how I feel..I just HAVE TO BE STRONG, it's not an option. I hope she gets better soon. I miss her & she misses me so much it's heartbreaking ..thank you for praying for us..thank you very much, mean that from the bottom of my heart.

YOUR DEDICATION (& LOVE) ARE AWESOME! Your fiance is certainly a very, very blessed woman with you in her corner. Both of you will survive this immediate crisis of course, but please remember my friend that BP is a progressive illness that gets worse with time. You may be strong enough for her now, but how about ten years down the road? Or twenty? What's going to be your strength?

Tractor trailers are powerful (i.e. strong) but even they run out of fuel eventually. Where are you going to go to "refuel" so that you don't collapse and eventually give up?

You need help! And that can come in many forms: a trust friend and confidante; your spiritual counselor; family and relatives; a therapist; and others. DO NOT FIGHT YOUR BATTLE ALONE - OR YOU WILL LOOSE!

And as further ammunition against this dreadful disease, learn all you can about it from credible sources (don't waste your time with make-me-the author-rich fiction like An Unquiet Mind, by Kay Redfield Jameson).

Looks like you need at least one more Mitzvah in prayer. I'm always happy to send them your way.

May God bless you both,
Sammy

[~Christina]

I disagree with outlaw sammy ... Bipolar is not always progressive ....With proper treatment a normal life span can be expected .

Im sorry your going through such a rough time . She is lucky to have you .. You do need to take care of yourself but you know this.

I hope the Doctors find a treament plan that will allow her to begin speaking again and can benefit from therapy and safely return to you.

Good thoughts

[liamellie]

Thank you,I'm the lucky one, she is an amazing girl..I'll find a way to keep strong, I have no choice. Iove her more than life & no matter how long it takes her I'll be there every step of the way for her. Thanks for the prayer

[liamellie]

Hi Christina, iv just had her transferred to a specialist clinic to help deal with her trauma issues. Her bp2 is under control "for now" she's back on her meds & had been monitored for the last 4 weeks in a hospital.the BP isn't her main problem right now, it's the trauma issues so hopefully this clinc will have a new approach.. Their doing a treatment called "REDT" I think that's what it's called. Rapid eye desensitisation therapy. Let's see how she gets on with this. I visited her today & iv cried since I left her..I'm not ashamed to admit it. She thinks I'm a robot I think with no emotions, I have got emotions but I have to be strong & not show her I'm upset. Thank you Christina

[liamellie]

And yes, I do need to take more care of myself.. Iv lost a stone in weight through worry. I hate being powerless & not being able to comfort her at least..at night she cuddles a pillow in the clinic & I do the same at home. This is hard, but I WILL get her through this & she is going to be happy again..don't care how long it takes her to get well, I'm not going anywhere..I reassure her that every day, she is worried I'll leave her, she's so insecure right now,this isn't her.. I'd never even think of that, she is my life, without her I would be lost, same as she would be without me. She's not just my fiancé she's my soul mate & that is so hard to find...all I can do is reassure her..no matter what it takes I'll do it for her to get well..wish I could swap places and take her pain away, I'd do it in a heartbeat..

[Victoria'smom]

Insecurity is a big part of depression.

[liamellie]

I know that, she has no need to be though..I reassure her constantly..she knows deep down I'll always be with her no matter how long it takes her to get well, but she sometimes thinks silly thoughts.its a massive thing for her to trust,she's never trusted anyone in her life,but she trusts me because iv always been honest to her and iv never let her down. And I never will. We had such a happy life together until her life got turned upside down.we will again when she's better & allowed to come home. if she could see that maybe she could move forward but she's stuck in the past & gone into a mental shut down..iv tried everything. The doctors have said she could come out of it in a day or in a month, no one knows..when I visit her she just holds me as tight as she can & crys her heart out..it's heartbreaking :-(

[outlaw sammy]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I disagree with outlaw sammy ... Bipolar is not always progressive ....With proper treatment a normal life span can be expected .

Im sorry your going through such a rough time . She is lucky to have you .. You do need to take care of yourself but you know this.

I hope the Doctors find a treament plan that will allow her to begin speaking again and can benefit from therapy and safely return to you.

Good thoughts

You are grossly misinformed about the progression of the BP illness. Check it out for yourself on the internet, through your pdoc, or any behavioral health expert. The progression of the mental illness itself does not necessarily shorten the lifespan of the afflicted - it just makes their life tougher and tougher.

And tell us - what is "proper treatment?"

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by outlaw sammy

You are grossly misinformed about the progression of the BP illness. Check it out for yourself on the internet, through your pdoc, or any behavioral health expert. The progression of the mental illness itself does not necessarily shorten the lifespan of the afflicted - it just makes their life tougher and tougher.

And tell us - what is "proper treatment?"

Progression of BP / Kindling Theory is still just a theory. Not everyone's symptoms get steadily worse over time and also there's the problem of brain atrophy said to be caused by AP's to take into consideration with these test subjects... is it the bipolar or is it the brain atrophy that's making these people feel worse?

And "Proper Treatment" refers to whatever healthy methods work for an individual, usually a combo of meds, therapy, healthy living and coping skills. As its best to tackle this beast from as many angles as possible.
I know Christina well enough to know that's what she meant.

[Skitz13]

I have to agree with Christina. I've never heard that BP shortens your lifespan and I don't really see why it would. I've actually heard that with proper management, episodes can become less and less and not as intense.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by Skitz13

I have to agree with Christina. I've never heard that BP shortens your lifespan and I don't really see why it would. I've actually heard that with proper management, episodes can become less and less and not as intense.

See this makes logical sense, because what would be the point of treatment otherwise...

[Curiosity77]

My understanding, and i could be wrong here, is that untreated bipolar disorder is progressive, but if the person is stable on meds the illness does not progress. It can get more and more severe with each episode, but it doesn't progress when you are well.

[liamellie]

Iv never heard of BP shortening anyone's lifespan?? "proper treatment"?? What exactly is "proper treatment"? different treatments work differently on different individuals..what may work for one,may not work on another & vice Versa. What I meant was all the treatment she has had "SO FAR" isn't doing any good..hopefully the treatment "therapy" she is currently undergoing will be different now..I feel so powerless here.. Iv always been able to help her in The passed, but I'm no doctor & I hate being powerless.. She looks at me so sadly asking for help & I don't know what I can do?? Iv got her in the best clinic money can pay for,I'm making her as comfortable as I possibly can but I want to do more for her..but I don't know what more I can do??

[pawn78]

Originally Posted by Curiosity77

My understanding, and i could be wrong here, is that untreated bipolar disorder is progressive, but if the person is stable on meds the illness does not progress. It can get more and more severe with each episode, but it doesn't progress when you are well.

This is exactly what I have heard from my own Pdoc, and several books, etc.

[liamellie]

Same, and it's quite accurate.. When she's Manic she get really I'll, off the wall behaviour, everything seems like a good idea at the time but in reality there are consequences.. but when she's not manic she can go for some time being okay..it's hard for her to find a balance.

[outlaw sammy]

AHHHHHH - BP continues to progress in severity whether or not the afflicted is undergoing treatment. Treatment only mitigates the illness as long as the regimen is properly followed - BUT IT DOES NOT STOP OR IMPEDE THE PROGRESS.

Think of it like this; an alcoholic may quit drinking for years, but as soon as he/she picks up the bottle again, their progression starts as if they had never quit drinking - and not back to when they took their last drink.

[liamellie]

An alcoholic or an addict is an addict for the rest of Their lives, even if they don't pick up drink or drugs,okay Theil be a RECOVERING addict but still they have to live with that indefinitely..but how does bi polar compare to an addict or alcoholic? Mental illness isn't the same as addiction, even if it is drug induced.. An addict has to learn to live life without mind altering substances "medication" where as a person with bi polar needs to learn to live life WITH the help of mind altering substances "MEDICATION".. There is such a difference their worlds apart.. That was my field of work, I'm a 12 step Minnesota counsellor "well I WAS" I retired to be there 110% for my fiancé.. She is currently undergoing R.E.D.T therapy..this is a new approach that hasn't been tried.. The success rate is apparently very good so I'm hoping & praying for her..it's so intense she can't have ANY visitors for a fortnight, not even me..I'm not to happy about that,BUT on the plus side,if it helps her it will be worth it. She's breaking her heart because she can't see me,even phone calls are limited.. Usually we spend the whole night on the phone together, or as much time as we can, but that has had to stop..the rules are so strict in this new clinic..it must be for a good reason though.. It's a 42 day treatment plan,Let's see how it goes..it's hard, so hard,I hate her being upset,I wish I could take all her pain away for her.. I'd swap places in an instant if I could..

[~Christina]

This is a terrible situation for both of you I hope this treatment will bring her back home to you quickly

[liamellie]

Thank you Christina.. I can feel it when she hurts, I get a horrible empty achey pain inside my chest..I have to be strong for her though,I'll get her through whatever life throws our way. Thank you