[FreedomFighter]

Okay so I've been diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and the past year I have been rapid cycling a lot with drastic moods changes every few hours or day. I've had little time where I was stable for a very long period. Then two months ago I was doing better than I had in a while and I really wanted to see if there was anyway I could manage without meds so I went off them cold turkey(doc knew I did this so it was sort of monitored). After I went off them I continue to remain stable which was very surprising to my psychiatrist and therapist but also very good news. Then a few weeks ago I began getting very depressed and that's how I've been lately. So I haven't had any manic or hypo manic episodes for quite sometime which is very odd. I recently, a few days ago, got out of the inpatient mental health unit, I was there for a little over a week because of suicidal urges linked with my depressive state. My inpatient psychiatrist thinks that I should be on medication basically for preventative measures. It's really hard to say because my outpatient psychiatrist doesn't think medication is as important to me as my inpatient psychiatrist. They both know me very well and are both very very good doctors who care about me a lot. I worry that maybe I might end up having an upcoming long manic episode and maybe I've been in a depressive state so long because I actually have bipolar type 1 which could makes sense but this scares me because mania is very disastrous and dangerous for me. My inpatient psychiatrist told me to remember that bipolar is episodic and although it seems like just depression now, basically I could have an upcoming manic episode. So to sum it up, I'm scared that I might have bipolar type 1 and might have an upcoming manic episode. I'm hesitant to go on meds again because I seem to be generally just depressed. I'm scared by the time I get a psychiatrist appointment to talk about meds it might be too late or everything is fine and I'm just super paranoid ... Help!

[Skitz13]

Hi FreedomFighter
I too have BP2, I was stable for 6 months and was taken off of some of my medication. Then I started to get mixed episodes just like you did. I'm still having it but it's less intense, most of the time.
I learned that for myself, I can't go off my meds if I want stability.

It sounds like although you have 2 great doctors, you may be getting mixed messages.

My concern for you is that if you feel you may have BP1, off meds you could spiral out of control. Even if you are BP2.

I think you should go back and speak to your own pdoc and make a decision before you get into serious trouble.

My manic episodes so it seems, get me into a lot of trouble and is disastrous. Don't wait for that to happen to you. The destruction just isn't worth it.

Good luck

Originally Posted by FreedomFighter

... I worry that maybe I might end up having an upcoming long manic episode and maybe I've been in a depressive state so long because I actually have bipolar type 1 which could makes sense but this scares me because mania is very disastrous and dangerous for me. My inpatient psychiatrist told me to remember that bipolar is episodic and although it seems like just depression now, basically I could have an upcoming manic episode. So to sum it up, I'm scared that I might have bipolar type 1 and might have an upcoming manic episode...

Welcome to PC! Sorry you are feeling so anxious about this.

I have to say that the scenario doesn't make a ton of sense to me (that'd be good news -- in case it didn't sound like it). One thing to set your mind at ease….BP II is the more common for having long bouts of depression. Therefore, it would not be an indicator of it "actually" being BP I, so you can relax on that front.

You have been dx'd BP II, but you refer to both hypomania and mania. Might you be referring to differing intensities of hypomania? (Because BP II by definition doesn't have full mania.*) I'm guessing there might be some confusion there, and that maybe it's part of your worry. Your doc is right -- BP is cyclical, which is good to be reminded of in depressive phases, because at those times, it tends to feel like it will "always" be that way, right? Perhaps in saying you could (could, not will) have a "manic episode" after a depression he merely meant "upswing" (and not mania per se). (?) It might just as well be that you have an even mood state following the depression. We can spend time there too, right? Sure! And you have fairly recently, so if you can think on those things, maybe it will help. Also, in reading, it seems that you might be correlating the lengths of the phases(??) (ie. you fear a "long" manic episode. Why long?) If so, it may help to know that it doesn't tend to work that simply.

Is your diagnosis relatively new? (Last couple of years, or does it go way back?) If new(ish), remember -- there can be a lot of new information to integrate, and it can certainly take awhile to see if we tend toward patterns, and if so, what they are. Be gentle with yourself. Whether the dx is new to you or not, you might find it helpful to look at this through CBT, as it can help identify reflexive thinking and possible catastrophic thought patterns. I'm not saying you are having those, just that when we're having a ton of anxiety over something, it's worth looking into, because it's got the potential to help a lot.



(I've got BP II too, and experience a substantial range in intensity of hypomania and certainly appreciate the challenge of trying to express the high end of it, you know? So I do get that it doesn't have to be mania to be very damaging. Just for starters, there's quite a few thousands of dollars I'd like back . )

[FreedomFighter]

Thank you Skitz13 and InnerZone. @Innerzone , I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2 just over a year ago but my diagnosis isn't exactly certain because of my age and the fact that the docs haven't witnessed all of my symptoms. I have had full blown manic episodes and psychotic episodes before. It is all a mess. I also have a personality disorder so I'm all over the place. Thank you for your advice though and Skitz13 , I will talk to my psychiatrist and in the meantime try not to worry and will radically accept everything as is.