[TheatreKid]

Usually my mixed episodes are different than right now. Usually I'm still flying high, super confident, sexual, hemorrhaging money, but extremely irritable, angry, and anxious. Wikipedia describes it as "dysphoric mania".

But right now I think it's more accurately described as "agitated depression". My confidence isn't super low like it usually is when depressed, but I've been having depressive features such as flat affect, anxiety, and very strong suicidal ideation, but at the same time I'm writing tons of poetry, not sleeping, and my speech is a little rapid and tangential one moment, flat affect the next. I went to a play rehearsal and felt completely disconnected from reality for most of it. I hope people couldn't tell, I tried so hard to act normal but I felt like I was on a different plane of existence. I felt paranoid the whole time, like people were looking at me weird.

The only thing I'm worried about is the suicidal ideation. I'm not generally impulsive about suicide at least, but I am more impulsive than usual in mixed states. I get them rarely. I just feel so weird.

[Love&Toil]

How long do your mixed states tend to last?

[TheatreKid]

They're infrequent, it's hard to remember. A week or two? Usually they're shorter than my other episodes and eventually send me into mania or dump me into depression.

[BipolaRNurse]

Ugh, mixed episodes are the WORST. Hope this one resolves quickly for you. ((((HUGS))))

[TheatreKid]

Thanks. I just have to make sure nobody notices. I think someone today may have suspected, possibly because I've been posting a lot of poetry on facebook and that's usually a giveaway. I tried not to act weird but I know I did. I'm probably overfocused on it though, I'm sure other people won't give it more than a passing thought. I'm praying there won't be psychosis this time.

[Disorder7]

Can you contact your pdoc? Maybe you need a benzo or something. I went to the emergency room once in an awful hyped up mixed state and they basically sedated me.

[TheatreKid]

It feels like a terrible blow to my pride to call my pdoc. My last appointment was two weeks ago and I was doing so well they asked me if I would be interested in taking a mentor/peer support role with their office. Everything was fantastic... I don't WANT to be doing poorly again. I'm going to wait a few days... if it really IS bad I'll call.

[Disorder7]

Okay, but be careful. It can get awful. I was sleeping one or two hours a night and basically becoming unglued.
Don't wait until it gets like that.

[Wander]

Mixed episodes are hell, I really hope this one passes quickly and without event for you. Is there any medication you can take to blunt the symptoms? Take care.

[TheatreKid]

If it gets bad I'll call my pdoc and see. I hate playing around with my meds on my own, I'm already on a decent dose of Seroquel, a sub-therapeutic dose of Abilify (but it was working), and a tiny dose of Risperidone. I don't want to mess with the dosages because my pdoc is already nervous that I'm on 3 antipsychotics. We just kept it like this because after two years of dropping out of school and being committed to hospital, it was somehow working.

If I absolutely can't sleep, occasionally I add melatonin or a low dose of hydroxyzine (antihistamine). Too many meds give me crazy anxiety though.

[Skitz13]

I've been dealing with mixed episodes since March and they are different this time. They are horrible.
When I had my 6 months of stability I was told I should be a motivational speaker everyone was so proud of me, as was I. Then the symptoms gradually started to come back and well...you know where I am now.

Throw your pride out the window and take care of yourself. You know this can only get worse if you don't seek help.

PLEASE see your pdoc. You've seen what I've gone through the last week. It ain't fun. Nip it in the bud now, my dear. Please

[Creative1onder]

I get mixed episodes. Get highly agitated, tense and irritable and restless too, and can have ideas and be doing things but still feel depressed. Other times I rush about, like in hurry, when i have more energy. Sleep is difficult for me.

[TheatreKid]

I seem to be on the manic side tonight. Heart won't slow down, can't sit, making jokes on facebook that I am absolutely convinced are hilarious but no one else thinks so. I started making pancakes on the stove and got distracted, and forgot about them and they burned.

(PS did you guys know that Mozart wrote poetry about farts? )

I will call my pdoc tomorrow, but I'm still not convinced she'll help. Usually an episode has to go on for weeks before she'll call it an episode. I ultra rapid cycled a bit last summer, episodes were lasting a day or two at most, and she just said it was normal mood swings like everyone has.

OK THEN.

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by TheatreKid

I seem to be on the manic side tonight. Heart won't slow down, can't sit, making jokes on facebook that I am absolutely convinced are hilarious but no one else thinks so. I started making pancakes on the stove and got distracted, and forgot about them and they burned.

(PS did you guys know that Mozart wrote poetry about farts? )

I will call my pdoc tomorrow, but I'm still not convinced she'll help. Usually an episode has to go on for weeks before she'll call it an episode. I ultra rapid cycled a bit last summer, episodes were lasting a day or two at most, and she just said it was normal mood swings like everyone has.

OK THEN.

Sounds mixed to me

[Tucson]

LOL Your special brand of humor.

[TheatreKid]

The most frustrating thing in the world is to be manic and NO ONE GETS YOUR JOKES.

[BipolaRNurse]

Well, I thought the bit about Mozart writing poetry about farts was hilarious!! Did he really? I want details

[TheatreKid]

HAHA.

THIS LINK IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK, THOSE EASILY OFFENDED, OR UNDER 18.
((I actually reconsidered and took the link out. It's very offensive and has colourful language. But if you google Mozart poetry fart you could probably find it.))

[Creative1onder]

Originally Posted by TheatreKid

I seem to be on the manic side tonight. Heart won't slow down, can't sit, making jokes on facebook that I am absolutely convinced are hilarious but no one else thinks so. I started making pancakes on the stove and got distracted, and forgot about them and they burned.

(PS did you guys know that Mozart wrote poetry about farts? )

I will call my pdoc tomorrow, but I'm still not convinced she'll help. Usually an episode has to go on for weeks before she'll call it an episode. I ultra rapid cycled a bit last summer, episodes were lasting a day or two at most, and she just said it was normal mood swings like everyone has.

OK THEN.

I'm funnier when manic too. Smile, and laugh more. More chatty, outgoing. Like bright colourful clothes. When I went to get assessments done at mental health service to get diagnosis and help /support, I was told I have mild to moderate depression, not severe condition, and they didn't believe me that I've had both depression and mania. The depressive periods are more regular and go on longer.

[rollacoasta]

When I hear mixed - I hear irritability central...

[manicsucks]

Im on day 2 of my mixed episode. I have not slept or ate in two days. Im a little paranoid, so bear with me

[TheatreKid]

I think it switched to hypo/mania. For sure last night. I finally fell asleep at 3 AM and got up at 7, and then napped from 10-11. At least I'm sleeping, but I still feel hyped up. I tend to be worse at night.