[Jennyanydots]

Whenever I try to open my heart to anybody and share me for who I am, my past, my feeling, my dreams, and my goals, I get rejected. I feel like having bipolar is the ultimate **** you. I might at as well be wearing a scarlet "B" on my chest...People don't understand and don't want to understand (they are scared!!!) and I ultimately get hurt which sets back my progress to moving forward and healing. I just really want someone to be my cheerleader and have faith in me...is that too much to ask? As much as I try, and try, I just can't help but lose faith in humanity; that good-hearted people really do exist. I feel so let down.

[Miswimmy1]

I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad right now. You are right- there are good people out there. It may take a while to find them... don't give up hope. Focus on yourself and taking care of yourself. Do something that you enjoy- watch a favorite TV show, take a bubble bath, eat your favorite sweet, play with a pet, do some journaling. I know how overwhelming these feelings can be.

[Skitz13]

People just don't get it and how could they if they don't experience it. Yes I agree people are scared. They think we're going to flip out at any moment. Again, part of not understanding. I have a friend who just wasn't getting it and I had a real hard time trying to explain it so I sent her onto the web to research it. She did and came back with a better understanding.
As for new people in my life, I don't say anything. When I'm symptomatic, I just stay away or explain it away somehow.

I've lost many friends, one being a friend for 34 years because of this illness. The real friends will stick around no matter what.

[Jennyanydots]

I will be OK, really just fine. I just feel like I will always have this stigma attached to me because people don't take the time to understand (or say it doesn't matter to them but I know that's just lip service). Sure, I still get low moments, but my low moments are so far, far in between all the good ones.

[lilypup]

Jenny,

I am sorry you are going through this. I only let my good friends know a lot about my illness. If I feel bad in front of those who aren't close, I just tell them it's depression...everyone seems to accept that. There are nice ppl who will be ur cheerleader, but it takes a lot of work to both be a friend/ and have a friend when bp is involved. Keep working gently to inform ppl and make sure you are thgeir cheerleader when they need it.
Good luck.

[TRNRMOM]

i am a 68 yr. old married female; i agree with all the posts above and just want to add my personal experience; i no longer hide my mental illness and have some friends who have been with me and this illness for almost 40 years; at my age i am realizing ALL of us have defects or issues, in varying degrees even if we don't have a mental illness and i feel i have a better understanding of life, people and experiences than most and i am finding at this point and time, i am the one eliminating the toxic people from my life and there are those who are wanting to add me as their friend because i have a lot to offer. as i get older, i need fewer nos. of friends in my life but cherish the few that i have.

[littlemiss44]

Jenny I agree.with you! It's do hard to find quality people out there but they do exist! I am a very genuine honest fun loving person who has trouble finding good friends. I.have Few but I wish I had more...I too just want to be myself. To have acceptance for all of me. We are all unique individuals with our own ups and downs. I do understand! You are not alone. Feel free to pm me anytime...I'll be yr cheerleader. :-)

[Love&Toil]

Originally Posted by lilypup

There are nice ppl who will be ur cheerleader, but it takes a lot of work to both be a friend/ and have a friend when bp is involved. Keep working gently to inform ppl and make sure you are thgeir cheerleader when they need it.

This is a good point lilypup. Relationships go both ways and when we are also a good friend to others, that opens the door for reciprocity. Not in a manipulative way, just naturally. And it *can* be hard work to be a good friend but with certain people its definitely worth it. You can be choosy with who you spend your life energy on.

[Jennyanydots]

Originally Posted by lilypup

Jenny,

I am sorry you are going through this. I only let my good friends know a lot about my illness. If I feel bad in front of those who aren't close, I just tell them it's depression...everyone seems to accept that. There are nice ppl who will be ur cheerleader, but it takes a lot of work to both be a friend/ and have a friend when bp is involved. Keep working gently to inform ppl and make sure you are thgeir cheerleader when they need it.
Good luck.

Thank you! Well said.

[cashart10]

I am so sorry you are feeling this way and going through this! I feel the same and am generally too afraid to disclose. However, I told one friend of many years. I thought I scared her off because she seemed a little uncomfortable. Then, I was in the hospital soon after and she came to visit me. I have another friend who lives out of state that was visiting here that same week. My husband told her I was in the hospital and she came right to visit, no questions asked. I, of course, told her but she still respected me. My other close friend was very close to me and knew something was wrong before I was diagnosed. Needless to say, I have 3 very good friends who I was able to trust and who, for the most part (unless I'm sick--then they tend to baby me), treat me just the same. Anyway, not sure what I am getting at other than there are people who can be trusted and who are genuine, you just have to find them. That said, I generally keep my diagnosis as secret as possible because I, like you, strongly dislike the stigma that nearly always follows disclosure.

[pawn78]

I don't rely on other people for my self-worth any more. I'm bipolar and I am ****ing awesome! I have inner self-confidence and it radiates all over. I let my bipolar freak flag fly these days and I don't care much about who knows.

I guess what I am saying is... Self-love is the most important, you are the only one in the universe that will always be with you, and if you love yourself, your self-confidence will naturally attract others.

And even if others don't love me, I don't care, because I love me and I enjoy my own company!

[Jennyanydots]

Well, this was my (ex) boyfriend who I thought deeply cared for me...So sad