[OutlawedSpirit]

As some of you know, I've been manic for the past couple weeks. I finally got to see my regular pdoc last night since she's been on vacation. I told her that the increase in my Geodon wasn't helping, and if nothing else, was making things worse. So she told me to stop taking the extra.

She then proceeded to tell me that she didn't know what else she could do for me. Seriously? You try increasing one med, and say that's the end of the road? She then proceeded to call the ER and tell them I was on my way, before she even asked me if I was willing to go. So I went and sat there for three hours.

I'm starting a partial hospitalization program tomorrow. Hopefully the doctor there is at least somewhat competent and can get this mania under control. I have an appointment next week with a new psychiatrist, hopefully one that doesn't seem overwhelmed by my condition.

I'm just hoping that work doesn't throw a fit about me being off for the next few weeks. I'm going to try to get short-term disability, but the third party that handles it for work has not proven to always be mental health friendly in the past, so I'm really just hoping I still have a job when all this is said and done.

I'm just so frustrated right now, and I'm going on like 4 hours of sleep, although I feel wired. I don't feel like going to sit in group for 6 hours a day, I can barely sit still long enough to write this. I think I'm going to lose my mind.

[wildflowerchild25]

I'm sorry your pdoc said that to you, but perhaps she meant you just need a higher level of care right now. Sometimes when we're in severe episodes we do. When I was manic/mixed/paranoid, my pdoc made me go to partial as well so she could more closely monitor me and the med changes she was goig to prescribe. I ended up inpatient because I was too unstable even for partial but even fate that she told me I needed to go to partial for awhile before she could take me back as a patient. I was pissed off at the time but she was right, I needed more monitoring than a once a month visit. You're in a severe episode. You need to have a pdoc available to see immediately and often until you get his episode under control.

It will be difficult to sit through groups, not gonna lie. Hopefully your program will be equipped to handle it. I've been to two, one was a DBT program and one a general mental health (the one I'm in now). The DBT program had no sympathy for mania for sure. When I sat out of group because the voices were too loud and aggravating for me they just marked me as willful and resisting treatment. But the one I'm in now understands and lets me sit out if I need to, gives me stress balls if I'm too anxious, etc.

Give partial a chance. I've been in partial/IOP for three months and it's been very helpful in getting me stabilized through a nasty mixed episode and depression. Without it I would have been hospitalized again at least one a more if not twice.

But I am sorry your pdoc made it seem like a lost cause. Maybe a new one will be able to be more hopeful.

[optimistic_dolphin]

god, i feel your pain. my pdoc basically said the same thing to me for the last few sessions. she doesn't want to admit me coz she is afraid i will be requesting discharge as soon as i am in. she was like if you are not cooperating in CBT and not wanting to take med, then you can give up your studies so your symptoms will go away along with the stress of sch. thanks for your suggestions, dr. they are great

[Love&Toil]

I hope things look better for you very soon.

[~Christina]

Sorry your Pdoc acted that way.. Not cool at all .. I am glad you went to the ER. PHP maybe just what you need.. Closer access to a pdoc is something that hasnt been much of a option for you lately.

I hope your time off work will be a smooth situation.

[goldteeth]

Partial was a great experience for me. I had a hard time being patient with the process, because it was 5 hours a day, 4 days a week, for 10 weeks. That was super tedious sometimes, particularly in the first week or two. But it was useful in that the providers got to see the progression of my moods and thought processes in real time, vs. recounting after the fact, or being seen when at rock bottom. It beats staring at the ceiling at inpatient.

[loophole]

My current p doc doesn't want to subscribe anything other then seroquel. Lamictal. Ability or wellbutrin.. klonopins... u mm sorry pdoc... ability and wellbutrin make me manic off the charts.. have even blacked out before.. upping my seroquel even higher makes me literally throw up if I eat something fairly *heavy* a half hour afterword. He won't raise my Lamictal higher then 200mg... and sorry I know people get addicted to . klonopins. . But they don't do much for me... they make the anxiety a little less... I don't even take the amount I'm prescribe 99 times out of 100.. just take one at bedtime so I don't wake up with hot sweats.... I've been low for a long time.. happiness no longer exists for me.... I used to be a raging manic nut.. but I also had euphoric highs where everything was.great and I was on top of the world... seeing a new pdoc on monday... I'm hoping for good things......anything is better then what I got... he just looks at me like sorry can't do anything for ya. And when I told him I was looking into getting another p doc.... he looked like he wanted to laugh... whatever I don't think he really knows.much at all about bipolar... ive.told him stuff that.i know more then he tells me.. he just tells me what's on the back label of meds... hey dr! I'm BIPOLAR. . Which often means meds don't effect me normally as stated more times then not it seems