Anyone Have Experience With Benzo Dependence/Withdrawl?

I've been having difficulties for some time now and I have gotten worse as I've become more stable. I'm not sure, but I think I've been having some adverse reactions to Temazepam that were not apparent due to the severity of the depression I was having while I was taking it. I've been gradually becoming more certain I've been in and out of withdrawl for...I don't know.

I can't remember stuff very well since after I began taking it and activities involving memory and attention became too hard, or at least I know they were difficult before I was on it and have been beyond my ability for many weeks since that time. I thought it was my depression, or stress, or...still don't know. I've started tapering back from 30mg to 22.5mg and it sucks hard.

Some part of me thinks my pdoc was negligent in prescribing it for more than four weeks, but I can't remember the details discussed during the appointments I was prescribed Temazepam and had a refill.

I'm wondering what type of experiences others here have had on benzos. I've just felt like I'm losing my mind and hoping maybe others here could provide some perspective. I suppose at this point I really just want to be able to have some idea of what aspects of these experiences I might be imagining or deluding myself into believing are really occuring.

I think it's good you're coming off it, in the long run -- they describe some of its effects as being hypnotic and euphoric, which can't be good over a long period of time; I didn't like it. I was given it for sleep, but didn't take it for too long because I didn't like the way it made my head feel fuzzy, like I wasn't thinking straight -- even many, many hours later. I kept asking for a lower dosage, because the effects seemed so strong to me -- I guess I just don't prefer feeling artificially confused as the result of a medication that I am not even taking for any psychotropic purpose. I went from 50s or something, to 30s, all the way down to 7.5s, but even that made me uncomfortable.

Is your doctor giving you something else to take while you're tapering off it? This is from wikipedia: Gradual and careful reduction of the dosage, preferably with a long-acting benzodiazepine with long half-life active metabolites, such as chlordiazepoxide or diazepam, are recommended to prevent severe withdrawal syndromes from developing. (x)

Especially if you're experiencing a lot of physical distress, it seems like it might be well worth it, if there isn't a contraindication for anything else you might be taking.

Hi. Yes, and yes. I was prescribed Klonopin about twenty years ago when benzos were *THE IN THING*. I have tried to come off k-pin several times over the years. Every attempt was absolutely awful, even though I titrated the k-pin down very, very slowly. The longest I managed to stay off was about 10 months. I felt horrible, really sick mentally and physically, the entire time. Ended up going back on the k-pin. I desperately want to come off the stuff, but every time I drop the dose even by a tiny fraction I'm a mess...sleep problems, terrible anxiety, agitation, racey-crazy stuff in my mind/brain. I am so afraid of never being able to come off the stuff, or spending my life horribly sick from trying to come off it.

In short, yes, benzo dependence sucks (I sometimes can't go to sleep without my Xanax), and tolerance sucks more (doc won't up the dose, obviously). I see benzos as nothing more than a quick fix for your mood for a few hours. It does NOTHING GOOD for me long-term. Just gets me hooked.

I'm lucky that my Lithium and Wellbutrin make me sleepy enough that I can try to go sleep, but on most days, I need my Xanax.

I've taken:
- Lorazepam/Ativan (1 mg) daily for a few months ... LOVED IT ... short half-life is also great !
- Alprazolam/Xanax (2 mg) daily for more than a year ... used to work right away, but I've developed a tolerance for it, so it doesn't hit me very hard anymore
- Clonazepam/Klonopin (1 mg) once in a while, as needed (when I feel like crap) ... I don't like the long half-life of Klonopin

I was on clonazepam for over 10 years. I stopped cold turkey. I then went through a couple weeks of anxiety hell.

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I have been taking xanax since 1999 and no problem with that drug, even at high doses (2mg 4 times/day).

But in 2009 I was taking temazepam 60mg at night for sleep. While I was on the temazepam (also taking xanax and other meds) I started awakening in the night unable to walk and I had aphasia. I could understand speech but could only respond with moans. So my pdoc did MRI and EEG and admitted me inpatient and he stopped the temazepam. I read that some people with migraines can experience episodic aphasia and I do have migraines but my episodes stopped when we stopped the temazepam. Weird.

There is a site out there called Benzo Buddies. A LOT of really great support and help in coming off the Benzo's (titration schedules and such).
The only recommendation I can give is do it SLLLLOOOOWWWWW!!!
People can have PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome) for up to 2 years after going off Benzo's depending on how long you have been on them and how much you took.

Good luck!

Thanks for posting about Benzo Buddies. I hadn't known such a site existed.

There are many people who have PAWS for years after benzo w/d.

I was on Ativan and then Clonazepam for 20 years. I tried several times to withdraw without success. On a British benzo site they recommend substituting Valium in and then cutting down on that slowly as it is available in such small amounts.

I made 13 cuts, 1mg a week without distress but whenever i try to cut down on the last 2mg of Valium i get insomnia. I don't understand why this last bit is so hard when the first 13mg went smoothly!

I have accepted that i will be on this small amount of Valium for life and console myself with the fact that i cut my dose down more than 90%.

I've been experiencing states of excessive attentiveness, almost like fear, nervousness, or anxiety but just not quite the same. Almost like random bursts of adrenaline are fueling paranoia which is triggered by what would be otherwise innocuous events, or vice versa.

It's overwhelming, stressful, it's...

I exercise almost daily at a local park. A teenage boy was running toward me on my far left with his left hand under his shirt. He looked awkward running like that and it appeared to me as if he was purposely hiding something under his shirt [thinking about it now I'm recalling a study which centered on kinesiology, specifically the cognitive ability to discern an objects weight by observing how someone moves.] This event triggered some paranoa, attentiveness, and I started thinking about what he was purposely hiding. A weapon? I look over my shoulder a few times and after he goes down a decline in the path which had foliage obscuring some of my field of vision he takes his hand out of his shirt, switches to a walk, and then he looks over his shoulder towards me.

I start to freak out; I get the urge to run away to somewhere with cover as if I'm now being hunted. I keep walking trying to calm down by telling myself, "It's just benzo withdrawal. There's no reason to be so worried, besides, he might not even be real." (I believe I hallucinated two people at this same park over two weeks ago). At this point I start to laugh without restraint at how far my grip on reality has slipped.

I really don't like benzos. I've become increasingly suicidal over the course of time I've been taking my prescription of Temazepam. Since I started reducing the dosage this has gotten worse to where I have this impulse to kill myself when I try to go to sleep, jumping to full alert at any abrupt sounds. I spend the night in fitful sleep, and sometimes I can't go back to sleep; I have this impulse that builds to just do it right then - Now! Now! Now! my mind screams in agitation.

Derealization/Depersonalization that I can't tell whether it is psychological, due to bipolar, a side-effect of Lamotrigine or Temazepam or withdrawal from Temazepam. Hallucinations, paranoia, lethargy, aches, the genuine fear that my poor sleep could trigger another depressive episode (I usually have some degree of depression as Winter approaches as well as during it).

Sometimes I just want to curse and rage and go pound on something until it breaks. I have begun to worry I will become psychotic and 'wake up' to find myself at one of the places I think about killing myself; awakened and made aware of my imminent death. I try to tell myself that is highly unlikely to occur as I have no history of such severe pschosis, but a lot of unlikely stuff is happening and the stress just keeps increasing. It's all so ****ing confusing!

Sometimes I'll tell myself, "It's all in your head." I'll smile as I think this, then those around me seem to mistakeningly interpret this as an indication that I am improving, that I'll be okay - nothing is wrong now, nothing to worry about.

This isn't necessarily directed at anyone in this thread, just a general warning to anyone reading- be very careful if you are physically dependent on benzos, sudden withdrawal can kill you. If you feel you are physically dependent on them do not quit cold turkey, contact your doctor to make a plan to do it safely. Also be aware if you are a chronic user, due to an effect called 'kindling' each successive withdrawal you go through can become worse and more dangerous.

Chemically alcohol and benzo withdrawal is very similar (both are classified as sedative-hypnotics). Roughly two years ago I quit drinking cold turkey and had withdrawal induced seizure. If I had been living alone I could have died. So don't be an idiot like me. Get the proper care you need.

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