[Newbie12]

I've always come off as a little cocky I guess. Especially at Baseline. I feel I'm charismatic, a lot smarter than average, prettier than average, etc. Is that a symptom of being bipolar or is distorted thinking part of being Bipolar? Because I still need reassurance from my husband from time to time that those things are true when I'm depressed. I don't even realize when I'm needing his reassurance.

[cthlyte]

Man, its tough to distinguish moods like that. I'd say if its pretty common and doesn't coincide with any episodes its probably you.

Finding the "you" in this mental hell is really a lifetime's work.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm cocky but I feel it's a good thing. I don't think it's a bipolar thing but an extrovert thing. I like to think of it as confidence.

[Tucson]

I do not think it is due to you being Bipolar. But maybe that aspect of your personality becomes more evident in a mood swing. FWIW

[Love&Toil]

This is an interesting question. There can be an element of grandiose thinking as part of bipolar. But the thing is, do you believe you are prettier and smarter than average because it's actually true? You've been told that many times (e.g., high grades in school perhaps or an excelling in other areas due to other intelligences; or being told you're very attractive with some frequency) and have independent confirmation? Or you simply hold this belief because you suspect it is the case?

In the past I excelled for a decade in a semi-professional group activity and wanted to branch out into another area, a related field. I set the bar high for myself considering I was known as one of the best in my North America doing the activity, I wanted to be one of the best in NA doing the related activity. My husband and I discussed this recently. Was this an expression of grandoise thinking related to bipolar? Or was it "the arrogance of youth"?

I don't have the answer to your question but wanted to share that it is something I grapple with too. An interesting question to mull over.

[Newbie12]

I believe those things are actually true and maybe I need confirmation from my husband because 1) it's hard to believe 2) low self-esteem, probably from childhood trauma.

I've been told many times. My senior of HS, and I went to to small town HS because it was like a private school education for free. Anyway, I went to school 90/180 school days and kept a 3.8 gpa the entire year. And other things like how many guys I've dated that most girls would think is hot or guys who could date anyone they wanted. The times I doubt myself are the times when I think of a relationship that started while I was manic and the guy made me feel crazy. Which I probably was. I don't think it's grandiose to display self-confidence. And I'm actually not a really cocky or pretentious person but I do know I come off that way to some people. It's not intentional. Maybe cocky isn't the right word.

[BlackSheep79]

I personally feel that it is part of being BP. When my new pdoc evaluated me he asked me if I feel like I am better than others, and I said yes. When I am experiencing hypo mania I notice that I feel that everyone around me is stupid. I feel horrible later when I am stable. I just become arrogant and I don't like that side of me. Due to being hypo manic at the time I am also very vocal about it, which usually occurs at work. I rant and rave about stuff and " stupid people" and what they do and I then feel bad for my co-workers having to deal with me when I just go on and on and my *****y attitude.

[Newbie12]

That's the thing. Just because I don't think I'm smarter and prettier than average doesn't mean I think I'm better than anyone else. I always feel the opposite during both highs and lows.
I guess it also matters what a person's definitions of smart & pretty are. It's actually all subjective, really, so it's probably impossible to get a defining answer.

[Newbie12]

Do think* sorry

[Double Edge]

Because you feel this way during baseline, it could simply just be your personality (high in extraversion, most likely), which is generally stable across the lifespan. Based on your description of yourself, you are above average in both intelligence and attractiveness. Because you were repeatedly positively reinforced about these particular qualities (e.g., high grades in school, dating objectively attractive men), it's possible that over time, you may have come to attribute these qualities in yourself as part of your self-worth. If so, this would be a possible explanation for your need for reassurance during depressed episodes, since depression creates all that nasty self-doubt and negative self-talk, even when we don't realize it's happening.

When I've been hypomanic, I very much believe that I am much smarter and more attractive than everyone around me, and like one of the above posters, go on rants about how "stupid people are." However, I have also been repeatedly positively reinforced by others about both my academic achievements and attractiveness, regardless of my mental state, though I don't believe a single word of it when I'm depressed.

When I'm depressed, I feel disgusting, ugly, feel like I haven't "achieved enough," and I tend to seek out comparisons of how I'm intellectually inferior to person X or Y to "prove" or "validate" these distorted negative thoughts, even though objective evidence (i.e., grades, awards, accolades) says otherwise. I honestly have no clue as to my "baseline," because in retrospect, I only have been able to identify my extremes.

Overall, I'd guess it is possibly a combination of your personality, objective truths about yourself, positive reinforcement about those qualities, and possibly some bipolar grandiose thinking. I guess what would tell you the most about it being bipolar related is if you or others notice a marked increase in these feelings of superiority when you're hypomanic or manic. Might be something to explore with your therapist, especially if it's something that bothers you. At the very least, you're not alone in these types of thoughts. Hope that helps...

[loophole]

Girls think I'm hot til I talk. Hey I'm a poet and didnt know it.. lol.

Really though. .. I think I throw people off..... 1. I look like I'm 17(yes confirmed by nearly everyone who asks my age.. when actually I'm married and have 3 kids and am not 17 at all... I'm in my 30s... 2. I look outgoing like I'm supposed to be the life of the party or something. .(what's a party?). in which I'm completely... in reality I'm extremely introverted. .. so introverted that a guy called me out in partial hospitalization program asking and I quote. "So are you a loner or what?" I was shocked... I talk 10x more in php then I do in the outside world... anyway.. I just kindly said "no I don't try to be anyway" .. so yeah. Good times.

[vans1974]

Originally Posted by Newbie12

I've always come off as a little cocky I guess. Especially at Baseline. I feel I'm charismatic, a lot smarter than average, prettier than average, etc. Is that a symptom of being bipolar or is distorted thinking part of being Bipolar? Because I still need reassurance from my husband from time to time that those things are true when I'm depressed. I don't even realize when I'm needing his reassurance.

Hi, I think being cocky is a cover up for being insecure! Being confident and self-assured is the way to go!

[Newbie12]

It's not really bothersome as it is interesting.

[Newbie12]

You hit the nail on the head in the second to last paragraph Double Edge.

I asked my husband and one of my best friends if I seem to feel I'm superior to others during any of the three and they both said no.

It makes me feel better that I'm not the only one who wonders about this. I know it's a bit of an odd question but important to explore.

Cheers all!

[Curiosity77]

Is it cockiness or just self confidence? It's ok to feel good about yourself. I wish i had that kind of confidence, maybe i would be happier. Enjoy!

[Newbie12]

Originally Posted by vans1974

Hi, I think being cocky is a cover up for being insecure! Being confident and self-assured is the way to go!

I think cocky was the wrong word. I don't walk around acting or even thinking I'm better than anyone else. I think someone said extroverted, which is weird because I always thought I was introverted but I guess when I think about it I can usually start a convo with anyone I meet. People at stores, parties, wherever. I wasn't always that way but my husband makes me feel like I'm the smartest and most beautiful woman on the planet (I'm not that naive but it does feel good

And I did think about cocky people actually being insecure. Good point.

When I compare myself with others, I realize I do this out of insecurity/fear.

What matters is what we do with what we have.
Life is a go at your own pace learning experience; it is not a competition.

Humility is seeing and accepting one's self in truth.
It is good to see ourselves as beautiful and intelligent.
Exalting one's self is good as long as one does not diminish others.
We all have assets and defects.
I try to work on my defects and use my assets to benefit others.

When I identify (not compare) myself with others, my motivation is love.

For what it's worth...

i dont think im cocky but i am very in control
in groups i usually end up being in the "leader" role but that may just be because i talk more than everyone else.

[Disorder7]

I'm extremely insecure; I never feel like I'm better than anyone else.

However, I have a problem with authority, a general problem with people telling me what to do, and so I think I come off as being cocky.
I feel misunderstood.

Grandiosity is definitely a symptom of mania.

I feel like I fluctuate in self-confidence based on my moods. From feeling cocky and great to feeling unlovable and suicidal.

That is why I feel that therapy is so important.

I am extraverted and pretty likable, i think.

[Newbie12]

I do the fluctuating too but I voice it to my hubby.

Therapy is important to me also. I just have to find one I feel can help me (I've had A LOT over the last several years). I think it's my insurance and where I live.

But my psychiatrist thinks it's ok to wait until my meds are stabilized before I find one.

[bondgirl]

Part of a manic episode and a way to hide insecurities of ones self.

[eleckra69]

Comes with the territory of Hypomania.

[Newbie12]

Maybe I should have said confident in lieu of cocky because I'm not arrogant. I just don't always feel confident. I guess that would be when I'm depressed. I'm confident at baseline and mania so I guess it's a hard question to answer.

[eleckra69]

Yeah, nobody likes cocky people, but we all like confident ones.