Help me understand dissociation and derealization? Please?

I know those terms, and I kind of understand what they refer to, I am not sure I experience them. This is what happens to me:

I'll just be in some conversation, and it's like I just drop out of it, like I fall into my body, and it's going on around me, and I can hear it up there, but I'm not there any more, and all of my responses or whatever come late, there's like a several second delay. Normally I just stare straight ahead and zone out, it's actually kind of comforting to me. Though I know it's F'd up too! People who are around me a lot notice it, especially my wife who Fin' HATES it! She's like HELLO! I'm OVER HERE! Which I find to be extremely unhelpful.

ANYHOW!

Does that sound like dissociation? OR derealization? And what exactly is the difference between those things?

Please help me understand! Thanks?
Oh, where does it come from???
OK
MT

Derealization is something I've been experiencing for awhile now. A sense of unreality, like everything is a bad dream. At times I could find myself thinking perhaps committing suicide will just cause me to wake up. Maybe the act of suicide would wake me up so that my last moments of existence would be perceived to have realness.

I've not experienced the distance from events you describe. Perhaps mine is more persistent, or it could be less intense, or a different occurrence altogether.

I tell myself it's the Benzodiazepine I'm in withdrawal from that's causing this, but I'm uncertain how long this disconnect from reality has been going on. It could be that the benzo just made it more pronounced, that after I've tapered off it I'll still have to deal with wondering when I will wake up.

It is dissociation. I have never experienced it but I am familiar with the terminology. You may want to take an online test for dissociation to see if you experience any other symptoms.

Dissociative Experiences Scale

I just realized that severe depersonalization started with me at 14 and I have no clue why. But things did not register, I felt like I was watching my life instead of being a part of it, I was out of my body, I did not receive any enjoyment being around friends or family and all of a sudden I had no clue how to act or what to say anymore. (Prior to 14 I was the exact opposite.) Depersonalization or Dissociation is supposed to be linked to trauma. (I really can't think of any major trauma that I went thru at 14.)

Personally, I think very poor concentration can cause a person to "drop out of it". I get this feeling like the energy source in my head just won't kickstart no matter how hard I try and I just can't keep up with people socially. I have no problem reading or writing though. Clinical depression does have a profound effect on mental/physical energy.

There's also a symptom in some mental disorders like schizophrenia where thoughts "trail off" (during the middle of sentences you lose your train of thought and can't retrieve it). I had this symptom for yrs and yrs and I can't explain why I had it. (This definitely causes confusion and makes a person feel lost, frustrated.)

http://www.strangerinthemirror.com/dissociative.html

I generally get derealization. Everything around me seems very flat and 2D. Everything seems to have an invisible bubble around it.

Derealization is a dissociative symptom, and can be a symptom of mental disorders such as "severe sleep disorders, depersonalization disorder, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, dissociative identity disorder, and anxiety disorders." That's from here: Derealization - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

And yes, it can also be caused by Benzo withdrawal, LastQuestion.

Maybe you're experiencing depersonalization? Depersonalization - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I would avoid a "test" and speak to your pdoc.. I've been diagnosed DID. And obviously it said I have DID but I think anyone could put 5s across the board and it tell them have a high possibility in reality the person is far from it... just a disclaimer.. we can't diagnose here

I disassociate when depressed the way you described disassociation. We call it me going away. It's just comfortable there but for me it can become a catitonic like state. It scares my husband to death because he "doesn't know when I'll come back ".

Now outright derealization. I thought for a good week I was my husband's imaginary friend. That he maybe crazy and I'm his hallucination.

Ahhh! I see... So I am definitely dissociating. Derealization, that is different. But can that find various forms? Like some times at the peak of hypo-manic/manic episodes I believe that I, or things, have kind of subtly magical properties, like frequently I believe that I can effect certain outcomes through concentration etc... Is that a form of derealization?

Let me know if you can and thank you!

Right. Thank you for this!

Thanks to all of you! This has been so informative! I am going to look into those wiki links! And look for a test on line! I love those!

Are both derealization and depersonalization symptoms of dissociation? Or is depersonalization it's own thing?

It seems that people who experience derealization experience a wide range of things, any more thoughts on that?

Thanks guys!
MT

I think it does vary a lot. My derealization is like a freaky dream state, reality looks altered. Tables can appear longer than they are, people look further away...And I can't really feel myself. I feel like I'm hovering around, if that makes sense.
Very "Alice in Wonderland" like.

I get to feeling like everyone else is getting life in a way that escapes me. Like I'm out of sync. I get severe anxiety because I want to be there. I want to be contributing to my and mine's lives. But I am stuck and don't know what to do or say. I get suicidal because of it.

It's not always, but for the past year its been a lot more than I ever recall in my life. I'm not sure how to get past it.

Hey !

From what I understand, dissociation is a defense mechanism one employs in response to an unpleasant external stimulus which may be perceived as a threat, while derealization is something I wouldn't necessarily associate with unpleasant surroundings ... its cause can be something like epilepsy.

Your experience sounds more like derealization to me than dissociation.

I, personally, can relate more to dissociation, because I experience it (or wish to) almost daily. My dissociation generally kicks in when I see people enjoying each others' company (something I will never get to do). Typically, this is something like couples holding hands or hugging or just going somewhere together in a car. Or a gathering of people just having a good ol' time.

My typical dissociation response is immediate, intense, and consists of one of the following thoughts:
1 - Thinking about my next workout at the gym (my second home, practically) ... which muscles I'm going to exercise, which exercises, to the point where I'm almost lifting weights in my mind.
2 - Thinking about being with God ... not having to drown in the torturous and turbulent pool of jealousy that my stay here is, but being immersed in the ocean of serenity and calm that I know my eternity will be.