hitting bottom

Laying in bed for three days, mostly depressed, a few bouts of rage (one bout on sunday night was for sure psychotic (felt like i was out of this world), some food indulgances where i would just pig out all at once. cut myself 36 times last night just to feel that i was still here, i just feeel like theres nothing for me out there and that a hospital will only make it worse. sad for someday for me who at one point had so much going for himself.

Are you in touch with your therapist or psychiatrist? Do you have a first aid kit? grounding kit or a crisis plan?

I've had to be hospitalized a few times and it never made things worse. The stabilization is very important and most of us can't do it on our own. It's scary ***** if you've never done but it isn't anything like how psych units are portrayed on tv and the movies. if you have a therapist or doc
I really hope you'll reach out to them.

As for questions for you, what Miguel'smom said, aqualung.

As for support, as down as you are you were able to post here, and be very forthright about your condition and actions. That's a lifeline. Keep posting. There are lots of us here who will hold on to the other end of that line.

all the best,
Randy

This the first time I found hospitals useful. But that does not mean I wanted to be there. Sounds like depression..I would tell your doctor for sure.