[HALLIEBETH87]

I realize we are ALL different, but I am trying to learn more about myself and my rapid cycling. To do so...I was hoping to get some insight from other rapid cyclers.

When you have periods of cycling (mine tends to be like a week or two of just chaos)....are you confused most of the time? I get lost in what I am feeling and stay so confused and dazed most of the time. Its hard to use coping skills because I can't even get my thoughts straight enough to think clearly about things. I am impulsive and self-harm often during cycles too.

After and even during...does everything seem hazy about how you've felt? Even though I go through it I still find myself scratching my head on how I felt 2 days before. Once its all over it seems like ancient past and even unreal.

Like it almost never happened. Then a few days later...your mind is finally clear and its like you can think again.

I cant be alone in this.

[Wander]

You are not alone. I too feel confused often during my episodes. It can be a crazy rollercoaster that you cannot get off of. Then suddenly it stops. It can be really hard to deal with. My rapid cycling episodes can go for over a month. Sometimes I suddenly switch into mania or depression or mixed stated, like I feel it coming on in minutes. It is a weird and unsettling experience. I hate the unpredictability of it all. Makes me uneasy.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Originally Posted by Wander

You are not alone. I too feel confused often during my episodes. It can be a crazy rollercoaster that you cannot get off of. Then suddenly it stops. It can be really hard to deal with. My rapid cycling episodes can go for over a month. Sometimes I suddenly switch into mania or depression or mixed stated, like I feel it coming on in minutes. It is a weird and unsettling experience. I hate the unpredictability of it all. Makes me uneasy.

In a week I can experience all sorts of chaos. A while back...I experience A LOT in one day! My pdoc looked at my mood tracking app this week and said it looks like Ive been cycling "very rapidly." Then she suggested we meet weekly through the end of the year.

So glad someone understands the confusion. Its like you know you're not well but...even the next day you cant explain the day before! My bipolar has changed the last few years. I have never had so much cycling and crisis until the last years. My pdoc is excited when I go a whole month with no suicidal thoughts and if I go two week with no cycling. A week or more of a rollercoaster of chaos and emotion...you don't know how you feel until you snap or cry....

[Sinking Feeling]

I'm really not sure if I'm a rapid cycler or mixed or what. Even when I am in a depressed state, I fall in and out, can become irritable, argumentative, angry, or paranoid, delusional, and suicidal. I know I can feel ok some times, and hypomanic once in a great wile, but most of the time I get like mixed or rapid.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I get mixed too. Its annoying as hell isn't it?

I get mixed, depressed/manic periods..the suicidal thoughts..self-harm and rapid cycling. its insane. And I can get all that in a week.

[Treyfrancis21]

I like these forums. Its nice to read someone describing symptoms and having a lightbulb go on in my head identifying how I feel. Rapid cycling sucks.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I feel normal knowing Im not alone!!

[sui generis]

Yep, right now this is one of the most frustrating things for me (and mixed states in particular). It's completely out of my control; it's like a switch and I don't know when it's going to get flipped.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I think that's the nature of rapid cycling. Of course no one with bipolar can predict an episode but with RC it seems intensified, at least for me. Last week was a wreck and now today suddenly my mind seems clear. I didn't realize where I was because my mind feels sharp and I certainly didn't feel like this a week ago! I might be able to concentrate now!!

Do any meds help you? It's been hard but I'm on lithium now..seems to help!!

[sui generis]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

I think that's the nature of rapid cycling. Of course no one with bipolar can predict an episode but with RC it seems intensified, at least for me. Last week was a wreck and now today suddenly my mind seems clear. I didn't realize where I was because my mind feels sharp and I certainly didn't feel like this a week ago! I might be able to concentrate now!!

Do any meds help you? It's been hard but I'm on lithium now..seems to help!!

I'm glad you're feeling better now! It's such a blessing when you get that concentration back, most people take it for granted it.

Ha-ha, I'm on lithium now. Started about a week ago. I posted about it here https://forums.psychcentral.com/bipo...osis-blah.html

So far it's helping me but I don't want to get excited about it yet. I'll just see how it goes

[HALLIEBETH87]

I take the liquid-lithium citrate. 1200mg right now

If all goes better for a whole, my dr said I can stop taking lamictal! We don't think it helps me much but ya gotta go easy on your body!

This is all an art!

[sui generis]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

I take the liquid-lithium citrate. 1200mg right now

If all goes better for a whole, my dr said I can stop taking lamictal! We don't think it helps me much but ya gotta go easy on your body!

This is all an art!

It totally is, a real balancing act. I'm also on lamictal and want to come off it at some point, though I honestly think it's doing nothing lmao. It's just "there". I tried coming off it a month ago but it was IMPOSSIBLE. I felt so dead and depressed. It was worse than paroxetine. I'll try again later with a teeny tiny taper, like maybe 5 mg haha.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Hey be careful...,it can cause seizures if not done safely. Talk with pdoc first. I've been on if since 2008 is why I'm stopping it. I quit 400mg cold turkey in January snd luckily I was fine...except I got manic...and no seizures.

Please be safe.

[sui generis]

Oh yeah totally, I won't get it off without the help of my pdoc this time. I'm super sensitive to meds and when I tried to taper off by myself it was going down by 25 mg and I couldn't handle it.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I'm sensitive too! I get weird side effects!

[HALLIEBETH87]

Everything makes me sad today and cry.

[~Christina]

Rapid cycling is having more than 4 episodes a year. Often times if your up and down in a few days or a week, It can be a mixed state, and they are pure hell . Its very very rare to cycle so quickly, But it of course is possible.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I've had more than 6 episodes since I've seen this dr I'm with and it hadn't even been a yr yet. She told me that when she said I have rapid cycling, that was a while ago and I've had issues since.

[Curious651]

I can rapid cycles in hours and go on like that for days. I understand not knowing how you felt because I feel every mood imaginable in a 24 hour period. Head usually spins, hurts, confusion, hard to focus, body not sure what to do, then complete exhaustion and still can't sleep, which starts cycle over with anger. I don't take meds at present due to personal reasons, but I wonder at times. I hope you find your answers.

[RustbeltRoyalty]

Yeah, I have rapid cycling/mixed episodes and confusion happens often. It's a fuzzy, unreal kind of confusion where I don't feel "there" or like I'm outside my body. It's frightening and throws my whole day off kilter.