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  #26  
Old Oct 18, 2014, 08:30 PM
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Ive got star trek on tv. I cant fun c tion past basic basic things like finding food or driving places. Its like im a zombie in someone elses life. I just cant deal with anything. The littlest thing triggers me.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily

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  #27  
Old Oct 18, 2014, 08:40 PM
Anonymous37865
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Hey moose72, I'm trying to hang on right now too...it's really really hard...
Hugs from:
Moose72
Thanks for this!
Moose72
  #28  
Old Oct 18, 2014, 09:43 PM
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Extra zyprexa not helping
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #29  
Old Oct 18, 2014, 10:07 PM
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I hate myself
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
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  #30  
Old Oct 18, 2014, 10:12 PM
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It doesn't sound very good that the AP is zombifiying you out so much... Is it temporary just to keep the suicidal thoughts/behaviours at bay?
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  #31  
Old Oct 18, 2014, 10:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sui generis View Post
It doesn't sound very good that the AP is zombifiying you out so much... Is it temporary just to keep the suicidal thoughts/behaviours at bay?
Yes. My pdoc thinks this is a good thing
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #32  
Old Oct 18, 2014, 10:29 PM
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Ah okay, fair enough. How long do you expect to stay on it? Can't imagine how hard it must be for you right now.
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  #33  
Old Oct 18, 2014, 11:30 PM
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As i cant take any other antipsychotic. Im assuming im on this indefinitely
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #34  
Old Oct 19, 2014, 09:23 AM
Anonymous37865
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How are you feeling today? Hopefully a little better
  #35  
Old Oct 19, 2014, 11:11 AM
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At my ex bfs house eating brunch. Just for something to do. Thouggts of walking into traffic as wecrossed the street.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #36  
Old Oct 19, 2014, 12:48 PM
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I just dont want to do anything. I feel guilty. Nothing to look forward to except crazy dreams.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
Hugs from:
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  #37  
Old Oct 19, 2014, 04:00 PM
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Nobody wants to talk to me today. I feel alone.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
Hugs from:
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  #38  
Old Oct 19, 2014, 04:40 PM
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I'm pretty new here but happy to talk, lend a listening ear, or just let you know I'm here and reading your posts...
  #39  
Old Oct 19, 2014, 04:51 PM
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I cant do this anymore.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #40  
Old Oct 19, 2014, 05:01 PM
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Hope that by the time you read this you are feeling a bit better. I have been dealing with these suicidal feelings here lately, myself. It is scary, and takes everything out of you. And to feel so alone! It is horrible. I just hope you know that there is a lot of good support here on PC for you. It may not always feel like it, but we are here.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Taking one more breath. A better day WILL come.
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Lamictal 400mg, Zyprexa 15mg, Topomax 100mg, Elavil 50mg
  #41  
Old Oct 19, 2014, 07:27 PM
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I just talked with a friend for 2 1/2 hours but i dont feel better. My mom was just fighting with my youngest son. I got an evil letter in the mail. I just feel like i am done.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #42  
Old Oct 19, 2014, 08:09 PM
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Now another friend wont talk to me.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #43  
Old Oct 19, 2014, 08:59 PM
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I'm sorry that you're suffering so much. It will get better, it won't always be like this.
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  #44  
Old Oct 19, 2014, 09:00 PM
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I sometimes get help by calling a NAMI crisis help line. They usually have very good therapists on call to talk to. I find it helpful. You might, too.
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Bipolar I, C-PTSD
Lamictal 400mg, Zyprexa 15mg, Topomax 100mg, Elavil 50mg
Thanks for this!
Moose72
  #45  
Old Oct 19, 2014, 11:52 PM
Anonymous37865
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Sorry things didn't get better today...sometimes it helps me a little to imagine that I am hibernating - I actively decide that all I need to do this day is to take care of my body and let my brain go into autopilot/sleep mode. Even when having suicidal thoughts, just keep focusing on your body and let the mind do its thing...(easier said than done, of course!) Thinking of you and wishing you well
Thanks for this!
Moose72
  #46  
Old Oct 20, 2014, 07:10 AM
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Im sitting at Starbucks. I see my therapist in 2 hours. Ive felt this way for a week at least since she tried to dbt me out of my thoughts last time. It didnt help of course. It must be chemical but i took three zyprexa last night and the thoughts are still there.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #47  
Old Oct 20, 2014, 01:32 PM
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Moose72 Moose72 is offline
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Saw therapist and case manager today. Both said they think i have schizoaffective instead of bipolar. My chart says "rule out bp" per pdoc and hs for months. T just went on about dbt and it didnt really help but i did file for disability so thats something.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #48  
Old Oct 20, 2014, 05:03 PM
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Pdoc called. Upped zyprexa back to what it was before i went off. I dont think she is happy about this but i picked up a script just now. She only ever gives me 2 refills on stuff too. Whats up with that?
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
  #49  
Old Oct 20, 2014, 05:27 PM
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I hate that. Then you have to keep going back when you can't even get out of the house.
  #50  
Old Oct 21, 2014, 06:17 PM
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I had an ok day today. I expect things to get worse. I need to get into bed but i cant. Two hours until kids go to bed
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg
Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
Risperdal .5 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
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