[Harley326]

I've been told that I need to forgive myself before I can move on. One of things I need to forgive is the way I acted when I was manic. I scared people. My family, friends, random people on the street. My family are the easiest because my father is bipolar, too, and their fear was mainly for my safety. The people I can't forgive myself for are the friends and random people who saw my crazy and freaked out - with every reason. They called others, my family/the cops/my ex, to come get me. I'm horrified and I cringe every time I think about it. How do you forgive yourself for becoming a monster? I can't even bring myself to talk to them. I wonder if I've run into anyone who saw me and if they mutter to their friends about what they saw. What about the people I used to know who just couldn't handle it? What do they say about me? I was angry and delusional and crazy and I proved that everyday for months.

[ozzy1313]

I am sorry you are feeling this way. It is so difficult to forgive yourself and I have no words of wisdom because I have the same problem. Do the people who were around you know of your bipolar? That knowledge should help them understand a little.

[Mountainbard]

You acted the way you did because of your disease, not because of who you are. That fact should help make it easier for you to forgive yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Stay on your healing path. Then forgiveness, both of and by you, will come.

[~Christina]

You need to just step off the "guilt train" . You didn't do any of that on purpose, It happened due to an illness.

I do understand your feelings. The people that are "good for you " in your life arent't going to hold it over your head , if someone can't handle it, then it's there loss. Yes it is tough wondering if people are talking about you, but in reality everything just fades, something new and more exciting will grab their attention .

Think about it this way...new perscpetive, I have seen a lot of just drunks cause a massive scene and they never worry about forgiving themselves.

So be kind to yourself and let the guilt go, you don't deserve the burden

[Justugh]

ok .........we all get a pass on action because we are wired differently then others

if u feel bad about it that is a good thing........shows u are not a complete asshole

so the only thing u can do is try to change ........when u get that way u need to see u are getting that way and calm self down remove self from what is causing it to flare up find a balance and go back in to deal with the crap

i know certin things set me off so i avoid them .......my friends and family know this too so they do not push me to do things i do not want too because they know the ending result

i have tricks things i keep on me to use to calm self down ......pocket watch with skeleton works ( looking at the fine gears and movements i find calming slows things down in my mind)

this is stuff your pdocs teach u ..........i have had so many i know several styles of divertions to keep from blowing top

the hyper manic is another story just focus it .......set yourself up with 2 projects and ride it out until the end

[Crazy Hitch]

I read something once that said: "What others think of you is none of your business."

I guess I interpret that as I was not put on this earth to be liked and accepted by everyone and so be it.

Oh wow I have done some crazy things whilst manic that other people wouldn't get and I'm pretty sure others have said things behind my back. But I'll just let them talk. It is what it is and I can't undo what I've done whilst manic. Whilst not disclosing what I have I have said along the lines "I'm sorry that I did x. I wasn't myself when I did that."

Be well. Be you.