[irritable4life]

So. I been diagnosed as bipolar or originally manic depressive. Been this way since age 13. It has never gone away or gotten better. I am 39 now! The sadness is so bad I can't get out of bed some days..I isolate myself in my room most days..until I feel wonderful again.then I am very artistic. I paint abstract paintings. Pretty dang good too..an I have so much energy I could clean a house in one day top to bottom an people do not annoy me at all like this..I am pretty entertaining an fun to be around like this..anyways..during the sad days. I am extremely irritable..or easily annoyed I say things I don't mean. Snap at anyone in my path..its hard to be around anyone like this cuz i dont want to hurt them or their feelings and I cannot control it..I don't feel energetic tho..more like very tired an extremely moody..during the sadness i sleep like 10 to 15 hours a day. I dont hardley eat..I have tried most meds..I just wish I could not feel this annoyed..mad at the world..feeling. Cuz I spend most of my days like this!!!.can anyone relate??? If so please share

[ozzy1313]

I can relate- except for the eating part. I always want to eat. Moody, anger, and irritations are a big part of my life- meds help some.

No answers but I know how you are feeling.

[tipper1492]

I can't totally relate to extreme ups and downs, however it was not until I started receiving medications my mood swing started to level. Then I understood and thought about how ugly I had verbally been (not too many curse words or demeaning her) and God only knows why she stayed with me for about eighteen years. I'm ashamed for my past with my wife, and many things I did before marriage. I was a high school bully. My medications worked early on, but if I read you right, yours still need adjusting. Too often I read people having such problems. It must be very hard when medications do not work as intended. I think it helped I gave up any self medication like alcohol. All this may of be no value to you, but I am glad I can come here and share with others like wise. I keep to myself and do not tell others I am BP.

[tipper1492]

By coming here I do not loose the fact I am indeed Bi Polar. It also helps me how to handle my BP. I like my psychiatrist I have now, but not the one I had before. He just did not issue to me the right medication, and maybe by the way I acted, he did not realize how bad my BP was. He and I often talked about his airplane. I certainly didn't. Another thing that weir ed me out was at times (some hospital) he had small bus loads of people coming in. In the waiting room with me a few had on helmets. I must still have some stigma about mental illness huh.

[dotie]

Originally Posted by tipper1492

I can't totally relate to extreme ups and downs, however it was not until I started receiving medications my mood swing started to level. Then I understood and thought about how ugly I had verbally been (not too many curse words or demeaning her) and God only knows why she stayed with me for about eighteen years. I'm ashamed for my past with my wife, and many things I did before marriage. I was a high school bully. My medications worked early on, but if I read you right, yours still need adjusting. Too often I read people having such problems. It must be very hard when medications do not work as intended. I think it helped I gave up any self medication like alcohol. All this may of be no value to you, but I am glad I can come here and share with others like wise. I keep to myself and do not tell others I am BP.

I can totally relate..I am up and down and all over the place..I wish I had more mania and less of the plain old can't get out of bed days...When I have my up days, I also paint, and love it...On my bad ones, I'm lucky to comb my hair..This bipolar is one of the worst things anyone could live with..If people haven't experienced it, they can never know the roller coaster ride we live..I'm on lamactil, but I sware my psychiatrist is doing nothing...I feel like I need to add something to the lamactil, and I keep saying that to her, because I'm only taking the lowest dose of lamactil. That's it......Does anybody else ever go through this where the psychiatrist won't listen.....It is really discouraging day after day thinking there might be something else that could help......

[Turtlesoup]

I can totally relate-I too since a very young age have those manic up up days where I am wildly beautifully artistic with both painting & writing & at times I could win a gold medal in cleaning the house from top to bottom & meticulously organizing closets & drawers-then there are the crash days when to get of bed seems like climbing Mount Everest & heaven forbid I should have to brush my teeth or make toast. Finding the right combination of meds, therapy & support sometimes takes a lot of trial & error & I use a lot of complementary treatments like meditation, mindfulness & acupuncture but there are days when none of it seems to help-I'm finding this online community to be a very safe & supportive place to turn to as well. Take care & remember that you are not alone.

[irritable4life]

Most of the meds have had no effect or sedate me to where I can't function. A few have given me permanent side effects like nerve damage..I don't do drugs or drink. I keep taking the new combinations of meds the Dr prescribed..but half my life is over and nothing has changed..I think I'm just gonna give the meds a rest..they just screw me up even worse..never better..